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Call me crazy & I probably would agree

givinggirl

By givinggirl
in Dating Advice

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givinggirl Enthusiast

givinggirl

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I know some of you are going to tell me that this is crazy and not to do it, but I've decided this is what I'm going to do. He's avoiding me for some reason, I have 2 scenarios in mind, one I'm really hoping it isn't, but it's a possibility and I might just have to deal with it and move on.

 

Anyways, I'm going to first send him a text quoting the bday card he gave me. I'm going to tell him how it was the sweetest card I've ever gotten, it touched my heart, and I kept it and look at it when I am feeling bad. I'm going to open a live journal account, write all my feelings out, and then I'll send him a text & email with the link. He's away this weekend, has the iPhone, but I don't think he has his email set up on it (not sure), but this way, he can read it without needing his email if he chooses to.

 

I'm just going to be 100% vulnerable, put myself out there, tell him exactly what I think and feel and it's going to be long. He is going to know everything and he's going to know why I decided to do this. I'm following my heart and my gut and I'm tired of holding it all in. I'm willing to take that risk because he is so important to me. If I need to move on, I will move on without any regrets. And, I will be okay and I will eventually get over it. Or, this might be the best thing I could have ever done. If he is just shy, scared and feeling not worthy, I might be able to get him out of that by me being completely 100% honest. There's a chance I could scare him more.

 

I just can't be in limbo anymore. It's not good for me and it's not good for him. I have very strong feelings over this whole things. I have intuitions, and gut instincts that I am very trustful of. I might be wrong and if so, I hope to find that out too. I just need to lay it all out there, be brave, take the risk, be vulnerable for myself and I hope that he sees that he is worth it.

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rosephase Mentor

rosephase

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I'm going to say you have an 80% chance of freaking him out. Why not just send him a text asking him out? Why make such a big deal over all your feelings for him? That would scare away a lot of people. I know that even if I really liked someone if they opened up a live journal and wrote just about all there feelings for me it would freak me out. Why not some middle ground?

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givinggirl Enthusiast

givinggirl

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A year and a half worth of dancing this dance. He flirts with me in person, but then avoids when not in person. I feel that he's scared and shy, self-conscious, doesn't feel worthy. I've been holding things in for 1.5 years thinking that I will just scare him off if I move to fast, let things go at his pace. We are together in person, there is this unspoken conversation going on that is going nowhere. I want it to go somewhere. I have fallen hard for this guy and if it isn't going to go anywhere, then I need to move on. This might just give him a wake up call in case he doesn't believe that I could feel this way for him.

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Taikero Newbie

Taikero

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A year and a half worth of dancing this dance. He flirts with me in person, but then avoids when not in person. I feel that he's scared and shy, self-conscious, doesn't feel worthy. I've been holding things in for 1.5 years thinking that I will just scare him off if I move to fast, let things go at his pace. We are together in person, there is this unspoken conversation going on that is going nowhere. I want it to go somewhere. I have fallen hard for this guy and if it isn't going to go anywhere, then I need to move on. This might just give him a wake up call in case he doesn't believe that I could feel this way for him.

 

Just ask the poor guy out. He can find out all the itty bitty details of your heart after you've gone out for a while and gotten to know each other better that way over time.

 

What you're basically planning here is expecting a toothy smile and a hug after dumping a bucket of ice cold water on someone. That's just not going to happen. Offer him a glass of water instead and tell him the ice is in your back pocket if he wants some. Don't scare this guy off before you even get a chance to give you two a shot.

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rosephase Mentor

rosephase

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A year and a half worth of dancing this dance. He flirts with me in person, but then avoids when not in person. I feel that he's scared and shy, self-conscious, doesn't feel worthy. I've been holding things in for 1.5 years thinking that I will just scare him off if I move to fast, let things go at his pace. We are together in person, there is this unspoken conversation going on that is going nowhere. I want it to go somewhere. I have fallen hard for this guy and if it isn't going to go anywhere, then I need to move on. This might just give him a wake up call in case he doesn't believe that I could feel this way for him.

 

That doesn't explain why you don't just ask him out on a date. Or say (or text or e-mail) something simple and clear and not well... kind of crazy and stalker-y. Just keep it simple.

 

"We've been hanging out for awhile and I really like you and I would like to go on a date if your interested"

 

Why do you need to set up a Live Journal account and write out all the details of your feelings for him? Just relax and be up front. You'll be less likely to freak him out.

 

Why do you feel this desire to do something so dramatic? What do you think it will get you that simply asking him out won't? I guess I'm just asking what do you want out of this?

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givinggirl Enthusiast

givinggirl

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That doesn't explain why you don't just ask him out on a date. Or say (or text or e-mail) something simple and clear and not well... kind of crazy and stalker-y. Just keep it simple.

 

"We've been hanging out for awhile and I really like you and I would like to go on a date if your interested"

 

Why do you need to set up a Live Journal account and write out all the details of your feelings for him? Just relax and be up front. You'll be less likely to freak him out.

 

Why do you feel this desire to do something so dramatic? What do you think it will get you that simply asking him out won't? I guess I'm just asking what do you want out of this?

 

I feel like I'm at my last straw. I've tried inviting him to hang out without even the date suggestion many times and he always has an excuse. He will if it's not just me & him. He will hang out with only me after he has had some drinks. I know that most people would say that means he's not interested, but when we are out together, he acts other ways that tell me he's interested. He's only had one relationship, that was many years ago. I think he is scared of a relationship and may even feel like he isn't good enough. I know that he will say no if I ask him out. I have fallen for this guy and I feel that if I am just 100% honest with him about how I feel that it might just put a crack in his wall. I'm not a stalker and since when is being honest stalkerish? If he still doesn't go for it, then I will have known that I did all I could do and move on.

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givinggirl Enthusiast

givinggirl

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It's not the honesty that is stalkerish. It's the way and intensity in which you are giving it to him. Have you tried asking him out on a date? Or are you just assuming he will say no?

 

I've asked him to be a wedding date, but no I've never asked him on a date. I'm assuming he'll say no.

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