Dumpers and Confusion?

[woodc5]

This is just out of curiosity, but lately it seems like there have been a lot of threads about dumpers leaving their SO because of doubts, finding themselves, confusion or what have you.

 

Any stories where the dumper actually came back? Any signs given by the dumper that made you think they would?

 

If they did come back, how'd you handle it (take them back or not)?

 

Would love to hear any other stories as well!

[veralyn]

I was the dumper. I came back.

Dumped him for those reasons: loss of independence, confusion, young, NOTHING to do with him, just beacuse of the typical crazy female loss of mental stability. i needed to figure stuff out.

He waited for a long long time, but kind of in silence about it. We stayed "friends". i wish he had fought for me. i wish i wasn't so blind. but no point wishing... and then when I came back with my full heart and zero doubts, it was too late

He pushed me away after that for several months. But we're recently friends again. He has a girlfriend which is tough, but I don't believe in my heart that they are real, not nearly as real as we were. And though that connection has faded, i still believe in the memory of how real it was, and that it might come back in good time. But things are different between us now; too much has happened and the spark is gone. It makes me more sad than anything because the spark is gone only due to exhaustion dealing with drama, not a genuine lack of love. So I'm just going to go day by day, plot along, try to stop obsessing, live my life and open my mind to new things as well, but also keep hoping to be friendzoned with him long enough that maybe we will get to know eachother again and who knows, maybe one day fall back in love. i'm not putting all my eggs in his basket anymore, but realizing that now is just now the right time, i'd rather accept the way things are rather than try to change them, and have him in my life rather than cut him out. i care about him. though it's a f&&king hard pill to swallow, he will always be at least my friend. i screwed up, and am paying the consequences, and now all i can do is hope that it might amount to more than that someday. but life is short and no one has ever meant more to me so even if he's not mine anymore i will always be there for him; cutting him out is just not an option that will ever be initiated by me.

 

dont know if that answers your post, i kind of went on a storytelling sidepath. point is: i was the dumper. came back. too late. he now loves me "as a friend". Not all stories have happy endings. Sometimes the dumper comes back only to have their heart crushed in return. But then again, who says that's the ending?

 

Hey woodc5 hope all's well

[courtney06]

My ex left me because he says we aren't compatible, there was no chemistry, and we got into arguments a lot. He was verbally abusive, as well. I wanted him back right after he left me, which is normal, but I changed my mind at this point.

 

I'm 19, in college, and want to have a good career doing something I love. He's 20, not in college, has a one year old daughter which he doesn't have full custody over, has a min. wage job and has to pay child support, and doesn't seem to care about where his life is going. He claims he's happy with the way his life is, but if that were the case he wouldn't clinically depressed. He enjoys life by smoking pot and playing XBox all day, while I love to go to go clubs just to dance. This is not someone I want to get back with.

 

If he were to try to get back with me, he would need to prove that he wants to make an effort to care for himself, his life, admit to his wrongdoings, and cut the abuse. If that were to ever happen, it won't be anytime soon because he is too stupid to realize how immature he is being.

[jessgirl]

I lost my temper and over-reacted about something that really shouldnt have been an issue but he seemed more than happy to let me go. So Im not too sure who the dumper was. I tried to reach back out to him by saying I wanted to be friends and keep in contact. Which he agreed to.. then failed to initiate any contact and completely cut me off. So yeah thats my story...

[LonelyPast]

My first girlfriend came on so strong that I got overwhelmed and confused by the whole experience of it and had to dump her for a couple of weeks just to get my bearings! I was also pretty overwhelmed with school and coping with some serious clinical depression at the time so I wasn't thinking particularly clearly. After I realized how awesome she really was we got back together and had the best damn summer imaginable! Unfortunately she got mobilized by the army at the end of the year and we haven't seen each other since then. I miss her dearly and can't help but hold out hope that we'll get back together again when she returns. It's all just possibility at this point, but I do fear that if we hook up again my temporary rejection of her after we first met will come back to haunt me some day.

[stu1973]

I don't know the exact circumstances behind your exes mobilization, but what I can strongly recommend is that you stay in frequent contact with her during this time. You can never have too many friends or too many people showing they care at a time like this. Having been mobilised to go overseas for a tour myself, every parcel, every letter is like gold dust. And if it's from someone special, then it really is special.

 

So if you care for her, write frequently, she'll be incredibly grateful, and will never forget. In addition to which, it'll bond you two together again like you wouldn't imagine.

[LonelyPast]

I don't know the exact circumstances behind your exes mobilization, but what I can strongly recommend is that you stay in frequent contact with her during this time. You can never have too many friends or too many people showing they care at a time like this. Having been mobilised to go overseas for a tour myself, every parcel, every letter is like gold dust. And if it's from someone special, then it really is special.

 

So if you care for her, write frequently, she'll be incredibly grateful, and will never forget. In addition to which, it'll bond you two together again like you wouldn't imagine.

 

She's only in the reserves at the moment so she got mobilized to Alaska and not Afghanistan. We still talk on the phone every couple of weeks, but if she does get sent overseas I'll be sure to start writing her letters as well! At the very least I'd like to remain her friend. I wrote a lot more about the whole thing here if you're curious: