courtney06 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 I typed a lot, so if you just want to get to the point please read the text in bold. The text that's not in bold just gives some background info to help figure out the situation. I am trying to figure out what my ex is trying to tell me indirectly. If you have any questions or if something sounds unclear, please ask me. My ex broke up with me about 4-5 weeks ago because he says we aren't compatible. I've been doing well with the NC (No Contact) thing. I've been talking to other men (not hooking up) and doing my hobbies. However, there are still some things I'm concerned about regarding my ex. He said he wanted to stay friends with me after he broke up with me and I was ok with that. However, he wasn't putting in the effort to be a good friend to me like I was to him. Every time I tried to discuss that with him, he would verbally abuse me. I ended up deleting him off my facebook. He had the nerve to make a nasty wall post about me afterward (he left my name out out of the post). A few days afterward, he texted me asking how I'm doing. I gave him one word answers and he had the nerve do point out that I gave one word answers (he told me to off the last time we spoke!). I told him that I was hurt and upset by what happened and that I'd rather talk about this. Basically, his response was that he was focused more on being angry at the time rather than talking it out and that he wants to talk but "he can't". I replied that if he wants to talk then I'm up for it. He didn't reply after that so I texted him the next day asking if we were still going to talk. No reply. A few days later, he posted on his wall on facebook "I miss you." I assumed he was talking about me which was a bad idea. I texted him that I miss him, too -- no reply -- so I texted again "please respond, it's ok". Still no reply. So I finally allowed myself to do NC and deleted his number because every time I would try to contact and he wouldn't reply and my anger would start all over again. Earlier this week, he "poked" me on facebook out of the blue. I do not understand why he did that. I poked him back and left it at that. I didn't try to message him, text, etc. Some people tell me he did that because he wanted my attention hoping I'd message him (which I will not do because I'm tired of him ignoring my messages). Some say he wants to keep me on a string. Others tell me he wanted me to look at his page because he's got all these poems on there. He wrote a few poems on facebook and sometimes I think they're about me but I don't know because he never puts a name in them. A few weeks ago they were negative and now I'm seeing love/desire poems. He's been flirting with this girl who is already engaged and has three kids (they may be about her). He is still complaining about his life and saying things like "I'm not waiting forever" and "there's a hole in my heart". I know one wall post was definitely about me that said "Moving on? ehhh" because I made a wall post that said that I'm letting go and moving on. I wanted to talk to him so badly because I wanted to get on good terms with him and have "closure", but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I think his idea of closure is nothing close to my idea. So I've decided to forgive myself and him. He is an idiot who has not had a positive father figure in his life which explains his actions. I forgive, but I won't forget. If he doesn't want me in his life he needs to leave me alone. The main reason he broke up with me is because we aren't compatible. I'm 19, in college, and want to have a good career doing something I love. He's 20, not in college, has a one year old daughter which he doesn't have full custody over, has a min. wage job and has to pay child support, and doesn't seem to care about where his life is going. He claims he's happy with the way his life is, but if that were the case he wouldn't clinically depressed. He enjoys life by smoking pot and playing XBox all day, while I love to go to go clubs just to dance. We got into arguments every other day. He treated me so well the first couple of weeks and then it just stopped. He started verbally abusing me and it was annoying when I'd spend time with him and he'd ALWAYS be texting people (male and female). It was so rude. I was aware the whole time he was out of my league and knew it wasn't going to work, but I was trying to force it (bad idea). I liked the "thought" of him, but I couldn't imagine myself being with him for the rest of my life. I wanted to help him improve his life which apparently was a bad idea because I ended up trying to change him which pushed him away from me. At first he wanted to improve his life, but I guess he changed his mind. Basically, just my presence was a reminder that he messed up his life. We've known each other since middle school so it was hard to let him go after the break up. I don't think we can ever be friends like we used to (as long as he keeps acting immature about this). We only went out for a month, but I guess since we've known each other for so long it made the situation more difficult. I even gave him some of my artwork because I didn't want to forget me (this was before he stopped talking to me). Now I regret giving it to him. Link to comment
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