savignon Posted June 2, 2010 Share Posted June 2, 2010 Hi, Everyone I just, just took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I'm sitting home alone today (hubby will be home in several hours) and I'm just in some state of shock. We had been talking about trying for a family and for these last few months we've been trying (but not in a calculating ovulation day kind of way...just kind of seeing what would happen). We both went from being very excited and hopeful to being panicked about whether or not we'll be suitable parents, if we have enough money, space, time and if we're ready for all the things it comes with (like never sleeping late again). We had figured if I'm not already, maybe we should wait a bit until we're more confident about it. I'm just in shock. I want to be the jumping-up-and-down happy kind of woman that is thrilled but right now I don't feel anything but shock and maybe a little panic. I would love to hear from anyone that will tell me I'm normal (yes, if you think I'm crazy, just leave me alone for now!) These are things I'm stressing about (assuming the test is accurate): 1. I'm 34 ...and one day I feel like we need to start our family now if we want more than one baby and then next minute I feel like there's no way I could be ready and think about all the things I'll miss out on 2. We don't have a lot of money. We pay our bills and we're not crazy in debt or anything...but neither do we have thousands of extra dollars each month for daycare, diapers, clothes, doctor's bills, etc. 3. I don't really know anything about babies!! My mother was not a good mom and while we've mended our relationship, I don't have a lot of good "mommy" role models 4. I'm about 10 lbs more than I'd like to be already 5. I ate like a mad woman this weekend at Memorial Day picnics and worry about all the sugar, diet coke, etc. I only had one alcoholic drink. 6. I'm so worried that if I cry now I'll be sealing my fate as a horrible mother. I should be jumping for joy and I'm panicing. Just in case...does anyone know of any good books or websites? All I can think about is how much sugar and diet coke I've had these last few weeks (not very usual for me and not something I would've done if I'd thought of a little baby in there) Oh, friends....I would love to hear from you. I am anxious for some comradery and assurance! If you tell me it'll all be okay, I'll believe you! Link to comment
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