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Hi, Everyone

I just, just took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I'm sitting home alone today (hubby will be home in several hours) and I'm just in some state of shock. We had been talking about trying for a family and for these last few months we've been trying (but not in a calculating ovulation day kind of way...just kind of seeing what would happen). We both went from being very excited and hopeful to being panicked about whether or not we'll be suitable parents, if we have enough money, space, time and if we're ready for all the things it comes with (like never sleeping late again). We had figured if I'm not already, maybe we should wait a bit until we're more confident about it.

I'm just in shock.

I want to be the jumping-up-and-down happy kind of woman that is thrilled but right now I don't feel anything but shock and maybe a little panic. I would love to hear from anyone that will tell me I'm normal (yes, if you think I'm crazy, just leave me alone for now!)

These are things I'm stressing about (assuming the test is accurate):

1. I'm 34 ...and one day I feel like we need to start our family now if we want more than one baby and then next minute I feel like there's no way I could be ready and think about all the things I'll miss out on

2. We don't have a lot of money. We pay our bills and we're not crazy in debt or anything...but neither do we have thousands of extra dollars each month for daycare, diapers, clothes, doctor's bills, etc.

3. I don't really know anything about babies!! My mother was not a good mom and while we've mended our relationship, I don't have a lot of good "mommy" role models

4. I'm about 10 lbs more than I'd like to be already

5. I ate like a mad woman this weekend at Memorial Day picnics and worry about all the sugar, diet coke, etc. I only had one alcoholic drink.

6. I'm so worried that if I cry now I'll be sealing my fate as a horrible mother. I should be jumping for joy and I'm panicing.

Just in case...does anyone know of any good books or websites? All I can think about is how much sugar and diet coke I've had these last few weeks (not very usual for me and not something I would've done if I'd thought of a little baby in there)

Oh, friends....I would love to hear from you.

I am anxious for some comradery and assurance!

If you tell me it'll all be okay, I'll believe you!

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Congrats, and what you are feeling is perfectly normal.


When I found out I was pregnant (I was 22, and had just been married 3 days previous), I was a basketcase. I was nauseous. I had to sleep for like 3 hours.


My husband and I were broke, and I didn't want children initially. I had no motherly rolemodel either. It was terrifying.


It all ended up ok. I am so in love with my little girl now, and I can't imagine life without her.


You will be fine. Heck, more than fine. There is no love like a mother-child love. It's indescribable and worth any hardship you may come accross.

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It will really all be ok. All of your worries are totally normal. All new parents have worries. Eventually you simply find a way to make it work for you and your family. Take it one step at a time and don't let the whole "parenting" idea overwhelm you.


Basically taking care of babies involves feed... burp... change diaper.... put down for nap... repeat as necessary.

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Your story is the same as ours was...no extra money, no parenting skills, etc. On his fi'rst birthday, we toasted that we hadn't killed him, LOL!


He is now 15, an honor roll student, drug free, a great athlete, and one of the most curteous kids you ever met.


So, don't worry, you!'ll do fine. And congrats to the two, errr, three of you!

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congrats!!!! you and your hubby will be great parents, i am sure of it. just take things one day at a time. don't worry about your weight, focus on eating healthy for you and your baby. talk to your doctor or dietician about specific tips for eating during pregnancy.


big hugs!!!

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Totally normal feelings! I had my first at 33 and am now pregnant with # 2 at 34 and even though we wanted both and tried for both when I got that positive test I was in shock, anxious and unsure about whether it was what we REALLY wanted and whether we'd be good parents. I think most every prospective parent has those emotions and fears.


For me pregnancy didn't really become real until we first heard the heartbeat of my daughter at 10 weeks, and even though we've seen this new little baby on ultrasound twice I'm still incredulous.


I think you will be fine parents and it's because you have those worries that will make you good parents.



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Ah, congrats Savignon! It will be ok, I promise. It's a huge change, but right now: I look at my 4 m/o baby, and I am so incredibly happy with her in my life.


My advise: enjoy your pregnancy. It's so special to carry a new life, especially the first I think (because the rest of your life is still the same, you are not taking care of a toddler running around for instance )


Hopefully you will have no severe complaints. These coming 8 months are there for you to prepare yourself mentally, but also to simply enjoy 'looking forward' together with your husband.


Also: there are ways to do things on a budget. To save money, we bought a lot of things on the Dutch variant of eBay. You also get a lot of stuff (think: friends, grandparents,...). Maybe there are some expenses that can be reduced easily, so you can save up some money before the baby comes.

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