Think I've put my foot in it...big time!!!

[paulod]

Hmmm where to start,

 

Okay been broken up with ex g/f officially for 4 months (she broke up with me) I see her occasionally at work, last time was 2 weeks ago, we had a very nice chat and all seemed cool

 

I think I may have put my foot in it big time with the ex ( I would like her back in the future if possible..)

 

Was working over the bank holiday just gone, had to stay over at work as was in really early and no transport to get me to work in time.

 

Went to local bar (that the ex and I have been too a few times in the past) was sitting reading a magazine, having a beer just chilling out for a few hrs when I was invited to go a join a couple of people (guy and two girls) they must of felt sorry for me as I was sitting alone, anyway I accepted, had a few drinks with them, was then invited to a party with them and one of the barmaids, this party had tons of really pretty women (point of that in a bit)

And the barmaid took a shine to me at this party, and we kind of hung out and got drunk, I wasn't interested in anything else (still got the ex in my head) kept drinking till stupid hrs then I had to go to work...end of story

 

I ran into my mate in the corridor at work and started telling him excitedly at the lifts about what happened, told him about how I was invited to this party with wall to wall pretty women, the barmaid clinging onto me, and us drinking all night, having a good time and how it now seems that I'm attracting lots of women (getting my confidence back maybe??? and I have trimmed down a lot) and how I'm enjoying the attention etc (it's been ages since I had an ego boost...is nice)

 

Ex girlfriend with a face like thunder walks past up the corridor from a doorway near where I was standing...I got evils from her on the way past, she walked up the corridor then back down? second time ignoring me...obviously overheard what I was saying to my mate and decided to let me know that she was there (she looked very hot by the way!)...I'm sort of in bits about it....have I messed things up for possible future reconcilliation?? she looked very angry with me..very angry!!! never had a look like that off her before maybe she's jealous and that's a good thing? maybe I've just totally confirmed what an idiot I am and that's finally made her mind up that I'm a loser and she's better rid.

 

My mate that I was talking too said that what I was saying wasn't that bad, but it seems to have bloody upset her!

 

Asked a few people, have had "You're single...can do what you like" to "Oooops you've messed that one up now mate" to "Sod her...nothing to do with her, she finished it...you can't pine away for ever"

 

 

 

any ideas??? please help! should I even care?? I've got to get on with my life,right????

[FrenchFries]

She broke up with you so she needs to get over herself. What are you supposed to do, sit around pouting. Puhleeze!

 

You don't need to do anything to keep her happy right now. She made her choice. You are single. Good for you I say.

[Cadence44]

Uh, she broke up with you and has now overheard evidence that you are moving on and have a life. I'm failing to see the negative.

 

As for how she feels about it - who cares? She broke up with you and it's no longer any of her business.

[Cognitive_Canine]

She broke up with you so she needs to get over herself. What are you supposed to do, sit around pouting. Puhleeze!

 

You don't need to do anything to keep her happy right now. She made her choice. You are single. Good for you I say.

 

I agree. How dare she be angry with you.

 

She broke up with you and wants to keep you around like a puppy she can go to when she's feeling down. As soon as you have some fun (good for you, by the way), she storms around like you've cheated on her.

 

She needs to get over herself.

 

I think you should continue to have fun and enjoy being single. You are doing nothing wrong. If she comes back, apologizes, and wants to try again...go with your gut. If she doesn't, good riddance, there are plenty of fish in the sea and you've shown yourself that you are quite the catch yourself.

 

Also, I must comment that I am quite envious of the British bar scene. That would never happen in America but I've heard meeting people and having drinks with strangers in the UK is quite commonplace.

[lana111]

i think its normal to feel the way she does even if she was the one who ended it, afterall feelings dont just disappear the moment you break up BUT you are single and are free to do what you want and i dont think there is anything better than having her know you are getting over her.

[paulod]

Thank god you are all here!

If you wern't I'd have probably sent a text apologizing for having to get on with my life without her!! she was like a little diva when she walked passed me, her ego got dented today lol!!

And after coming out of the dark hole that is being dumped, it's nice to know that other members of the opposite sex find me attractive, I felt totally worthless and rotten for long enough so it feels great to get some confidence back.

Maybe now she's starting to feel the way I did, seeing the person you love starting to move on and do their own thing, looking like they have not a care in the world, not caring, no longer making the other their priority, being selfish and looking after number 1.

Not so nice now it's being reversed...

I wouldn't have said anything if I'd known she was there, wouldn't have been nice hearing that (I'd have hated it!) maybe it will get her thinking about what she threw away..??who knows??? maybe not

 

 

Truth is though, as good as it is getting my ego stroked and as great as it is living the single life, I'm still so much in love with her, but gotta get on with things.... I'm not chasing her,think she may realise that now. I have my self respect back, I'm not crawling again

[Cognitive_Canine]

You can still be in love with her without being her back-up plan. If she doesn't respect you (and you don't respect yourself), you won't be capable of a healthy relationship even if you do get back together.

[paulod]

So why does it feel wrong??? if I've done nothing wrong??

It's weird spending time with another woman.....doesn't feel right

[paulod]

Woke up this morning feeling so crap and low about myself, why do I feel like I've done something so wrong???thought I was over all of this? thought I was moving on? I know I shouldn't give a damn about what she thinks, she's the one who broke up with me, but It's now in my head that I'm the bad guy for trying to live my life?? I feel like I've cheated? done her wrong in some way..

 

Not a happy bunny today at all

[Cognitive_Canine]

Please stay strong. She wants you to feel this way and I think it's completely normal to feel this way.

 

But, I think the earlier you confront this misplaced guilt, the better it is for you. You had a wonderful time that night. And, she is the one that's making you feel miserable about it.

 

I'd save up your energy, take it easy for a while. And then I'd continue to have fun times.

[FootofGod]

Yeah, this is totally perfect, especially because you didn't do it to piss her off/make her jealous, but it did anyway.

 

She sounds like she needs to get a life or figure out her priorities. Maybe she's just mad because she can't string you along and she likes that power, idk her at all so its hard to say. I'd take this whole thing as another ego boost. Obviously she cares enough to try to do baby things to get your attention, so you must've done stuff right.

[stu1973]

Paul,

 

Brilliant story, truly brilliant.

 

Do not, whatever happens take any guilt on board yourself. She forfeited any right to have any influence on what you do the day she ended it.

 

Remember, the opposite of love is indifference. Not hate. You've stirred up some strong emotions there my friend. She may not want you, but she doesn't want anyone else to have you.

 

Thank god you didn't text to apologise!

 

There's a very bright light at the end of your story. You are attractive to the opposite sex, and your ex seems to still care deeply. A man in demand in fact!

[paulod]

Many thanks for the support guys, it truly means a lot

 

Went out on Thursday night for a leaving do, and told a few friends (male and female) what had happened, they all say the same thing!!! in no way should I feel guilty about anything, my ex does not have the right to be mad at me for anything, she ended it...I was left to pick up the pieces.

She needs to either accept the fact that she messed up and sort it out before I move on totally or just grow up and deal with the fact that I am living my life again and not at home curled up in a ball crying (some days believe me I just want to stay under the quilt and do that...but I can't and wont! it's not healthy for me..)

They also all agree that she still has feelings for me which is nice to know where that goes from here I don't know?? she's way to stubborn to admit she was wrong and way to proud to come back to me...and I'm not making the first move! no bloody way! why should I?

Also, seems the old me is back for good now people noticing how much I've changed, how much happier I am (real, not that over the top fake happy) how less stressed I look, looking slimmer and all topped off with a bit of a suntan, a fare bit of a transformation I'd say!

Got a kiss on the cheek goodbye from the girl who's leaving do it was at the end of the night and she whispered in my ear " You'll find someone better than "H" Paul, you really will.." which was kind of nice, I seem to be the one now with a large circle of friends again??? I'd forgotten how much I'd stopped doing when I was with her

 

think I may put indirect subtle feelers out, see if there is any chance with the ex, if there is then cool, if definatly not then that's okay too, my life will go on, and will get better, she's the one who's losing out...not me

 

Right best get off....am co-hosting a BBQ round my mates house, the sun is out and I think it's going to be another fun day I reckon!

 

Take it easy people, keep smiling and stay positive!