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Getting his things...

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Ok, I have asked the ex NUMEROUS times to give back the key to my home, pick up the things he has left here, and even moved them all into the other side of the garage to make it easier for him to just load them in his trunk.


He won't do it. We have been broken up for almost 6 months. i am not a storage shed and have asked nicely, sent txts, and left messages for him. Still...nada.


There is NO chance of reconciliation...we do not speak to one another on a regular basis (unless it pertains to our son during drop off and pick up) and his is, well, down right unfriendly.


Can I safely throw this stuff away? I had it sitting outside for three days once...and let him know it was outside...it started to rain, so I put it back in the garage, as I didnt want it to get ruined. It is not expensive stuff, but his none-the-less.


Just wondering why in the heck he wont get it...and how to proceed from here. Garage sale?


Any advice appreciated. Thanks.

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I would say if you want to be nice (even though at this point you probably dont even owe that to him) let him know that if he doesnt come pick it up that you are going to throw it away or sell it, set a date, then if he doesnt come, get rid of it.

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What kind of stuff are we talking about here?


Clothing? Books? CDs? DVDs? Furniture? Kitchen ware? Hobby supplies/equipment?


Depending on what it is, I'd just box it up and ship it....to his address if you haven't....to his parents/relatives/mutual friend's whichever you have if you don't have his.


If you haven't already, I'd just change the locks on the door. It's pretty easy, really. You can get new lock/doorknob/key sets at Home Depot or Lowe's relatively cheaply.


Is that going to cost you some $$? Sure. But I'd just consider it part of the cost of breaking up....or a downpayment on peace of mind....or a CYA move -- you send the stuff back, he can't come back at you later and be a PITA about you "stealing" his stuff or "not returning" his stuff. Exes can get really petty and dramatic about small, stupid things. If they didn't, I bet there'd be some lawyers making less money.


At any rate, if it was me, it'd be worth the money to know that:


1. His (crap) was outta my house.

2. I took the high road - making reasonable attempts to ensure his things were returned to him.

3. He doesn't have access to my dwelling anymore because I changed the locks.

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Oh, also...waiting for him to act (pick up his things, return your keys) gives him all the power in this situation.


Dunno about you, but that's not a position I'd care to be in. By taking charge and resolving these matters in a way that needn't involve him at all, I take back my power. So what if it costs me some money? It's worth it just to have the issue resolved on MY timetable and not wait around for him to do something.

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