Is She For Real?

[HouseOfCards]

So 6 months ago I was dumped by my now-ex. We were in a LDR for about 1.5 years and she gave me some semi-vague reasons about how she needed some time to work on herself. She was also upset over my seeming content with the relationship, as she clearly wanted a BF that would fight with her (there was passion in the relationship, I just never get angry period).

 

This was all good and fine until a month or two later when I found out she had been seeing her " * * * * * * * " ex-boyfriend again (the guy she dated a year before me). So I basically felt duped and a little bit cheated on and went full-on NC with her for about 2 months, and that was working out pretty well for me until a couple nights ago.

 

Now she's texting me apologizing profusely and saying that she dumped him because of something I said to make her realize how wrong she was to be with him. She hopes that one day I can find it in me to forgive her and maybe love her again. I got 3 texts from her at work today. I'm not sure what to make of all this. Is she seriously trying to get back together with me, or just seriously desperate?

[misssmithviii]

... I wouldn't give her the attention she's looking for from you so easily. The very reason why she left you is a huge red flag in the first place - she was upset because you were happy with the relationship?! I've seen sooo many girls like this that associate drama with love... and it's not pretty. In fact, it's quite twisted really. How do you expect to be happy with someone who gets irritated at how happily content you are being with her?

 

I think you should leave her be. Give it some more time. This definitely sounds like she's kept you on the back-burner and you're just the fallback plan b in her eyes. Don't be someone's second choice.

[RecalX]

... I think you should leave her be. Give it some more time. This definitely sounds like she's kept you on the back-burner and you're just the fallback plan b in her eyes. Don't be someone's second choice.

 

I second that, you never should feel like a plan B

[High5girl]

Great advice given above. I echo what has already been said.

Who really knows why things ended with them?

It didn't work out with them and now she wants you back or hopes you will take her back someday?

 

If she really needed to work on herself like she said, then she wouldn't have been with someone else. She still needs to work on herself if you ask me.

 

I wouldn't give in so easily.

[Thx]

These can be difficult.

 

You want to realize that people make mistakes and have some mercy and be forgiving, at least not begrudging.

 

But, at the same time you would feel really burned if she did it again, and you know, you may always have a bit of mistrust as to whether she is genuine now.

 

I also agree with some of the others, if she thinks that guy was better than you, what will happen if another guy like him comes along?

 

Time will tell.

 

My gut says that she will stop contact when another guy comes along, maybe sooner than later.

 

I would start looking for someone else.

 

Thx