6 months later..

[Leighton]

Hard to believe it's been about 6 months. Haven't talked to him in under 5 I think. Here's hopefully a little inspiration for anyone going through the same thing..

 

I have to say that I am doing a lot better. I still have tough days and then I have days where I barely think of him at all (my favorite days). I don't count the days anymore and I don't look at my phone waiting for that text or call anymore. The one thing that sucks is having to see him and his girlfriend. I saw them last in April and I'll be seeing them again on Friday. I'm dreading it and I thought seeing them once would help me for the next times but it hasn't really. I've accepted that I will probably always have some love for him despite the way he treated me. Sometimes I wish he would care enough to call and see how I am. But in the end it really doesn't matter. I know that my life is 100 times better without him.

 

I still haven't dated anyone or even gone on a date. One thing that has helped me have even the tiniest bit of hope was for the first time 2 weeks ago, I met a guy who when I first looked at him.. gave me butterflies. It turned out he wasn't single, but the simple fact that I could feel that for someone again is more than I could ask for. And for those who have been abused like myself, there is nothing wrong with taking your time to heal by yourself. Abuse is extremely traumatic and I'm prepared to keep dealing with it.

 

If I could go back in time, I would have never have started this relationship. Yes I realized how an abuser and narcissist acts. Yes I know now to steer clear of these kinds of men. But did I really gain anything from it? No. It was full of lies, deceit and severe pain. They say have no regrets, but that is one regret I think I'll never let go of.

 

Therapy has helped a bit too. It's always good to talk to someone. The book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans has helped me understand my emotions and what happened to me a lot as well too. One day I will be happy.. and you will too!

[Blue Skittles]

Good for you - you sound like you have a good handle on things and I LOVE your positive outlook. Things will only get better. I always feel happy when I see a girl that has pulled herself out of an abusive relationship. I was in one at one time myself so I know how difficult it is to walk away. I was a mess when I was in it but once I got out I was a different person, I was ME again. Don't worry, the time will come when one day you'll feel ready to date and to trust someone again, and you'll be able to make a much better decision. Good luck.