EER38 Posted June 1, 2010 Share Posted June 1, 2010 I dated a girl for just under two years (most of it was long distance, we lived about 3 hours apart). I loved her deeply and still do, and I thought she did me as well. Anyway, she tried to break up with me a couple of times within two or three months of us starting to date, citing how different we were and that we just weren't fitting. We had a long talk about this and she eventually agreed to stay with me. After this, we had a really great year or so. Few arguments, good times, etc. We started having a few problems after we had been dating for about a year and a half. I feel like most of them stemmed from a few times I picked dumb fights with her, basically for one of the following two reasons. 1. I got moody when she invited me to do something I didn't feel like doing...I didn't want to just say "no," because at the beginning, I knew our differences in interests were a big deal for her. So I'd go along with whatever she wanted to, but I wouldn't be happy about it. 2. I got moody sometimes when I felt like she wasn't paying enough attention to me or was concerned enough when I was upset about something. This went on for about...a month or a month and a half. We had disputes over other things, too, but these were the two main things I was doing wrong. Anyway, at this point she tries to break up with me, thinking I've become this depressed person that she couldn't be with. In my defense, I wasn't *constantly* in a bad mood with her. It was just that I found myself picking stupid fights with her more often for about a month or so. I had also been going through a few issues in my life (personal conflict with someone else, not substance abuse or anything like that) and that brought me down as well - I was thinking about my problems more than I should have been. Anyhow, after a couple of hours of pleading, I convince her to stay, and I'm able to turn it around. I kept my promises to her and started to be happy again. However, a few weeks later she tries to dump me yet again, saying this time it's mostly about our differences - she feels like our interests were too different and I could never be her "partner." This puzzled me, as by this point we had a year and a half of mostly good times. Anyway, I promise for about three hours to change a few things and embrace more of her interests, and again, she decides to stay. Things are good for a few more months. She gets into school several states away and we move there together; however, just ten days after the move, she dumps me for good. I kept thinking that the whole thing was my fault, that the times I was moody or down with her were the reasons. She said that they weren't, but I had a hard time believing her...I still do. She told me "your moodiness got better but you couldn't change who you are." It was weird, we seemed to have a very loving relationship, and she kept sending me love notes and things right until the time we moved down. There were other mistakes that I made (and that she did, too), but the only one I really, really regret is that month or so when I was rather moody with her. I met her a few more times after we broke up...she kept insisting it wasn't my fault. In the end, she said we just didn't fit, we were just too different, and that she could have married me and been comfortable, but never would have really been happy. Strange...we were a really loving couple and had a great sex life and all that...but she said it hit her after we moved that she couldn't be with me anymore, and that there was just "something missing." I even found a post she made on an online forum (accidentally) right before she tried to break up with me (the third time, when she was concerned about our differences again), saying how different we were. She was worried about those things, but NOT about my moodiness...so it leads me to believe her when she says it wasn't anything I did. I should also say that even before that moody period of mine - about two months before - she talked about how she felt the relationship was losing its spark. At that point, we hadn't really been having problems as far as fights or acting badly - the relationship was just cooling off. I'm thinking that's ultimately what happened to our relationship, and me getting into bad moods was secondary. She started dating someone else about a month after we broke up. I have no idea if they're still together, but if they are, it would be about 9 months for them. I haven't spoken to her in about...seven months. I'm wondering if there could be any chance at reconciliation if I talk to her the right way. I mean, it seems absurd. To top it all off, I'm moving 1,000 miles away for grad school in a couple of months and leaving my life here behind. Even if she did take me back, I don't know what we'd do. Still, though, I miss her every day and I'd give just about anything to have her back. So, do you think that we're done for good, or should I try to reach out to her? I don't understand why she'd just leave over our "differences." Besides that one month or so, I feel like they usually didn't keep us from enjoying our time together. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.