Does This Happen to You? Advise?

[confused2010]

Maybe it's the fact that I'm a girl, or maybe it's the fact that I can cry at just about anything, but I have the tendency to be extra emotional around by ex. Around any other people, I can pretend or I can hold back the tears, but around him, I don't know what it is, it is so much easier for me to break down. I guess it is partly because we were together for 8 years and he knows more things about me than anyone else.

 

Does this happen to anyone else? Any suggestions on how to control it or make it better? I know it's not going to help me get back together with him if he still sees that I am an emotional wreck. I'm not sure why that is but with everyone else I can somewhat pretend that I'm ok, but I can't hide anything from him.

 

I seem to be babbling, sorry. Does anyone have any advise??

[Fukurokuju]

It does indeed happen to me. I don't have any real solution except that I got slowly better with baby steps. We'd have arguements and I'd sob uncontrollably and refuse to let him walk away from me without making me feel better (which in most occasions, there was nothing he could do, I was so gone in my tantrum). But the last time we broke up, I shed silent tears, gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked to my house. No extreme outbursts of emotion or anything. I think the thing that really got me there was seeing that my extreme outbursts only had negative effects.

[floridafan]

If you're like this around him, then don't be around him. This is where NC helps you; you HAVE to unload the emotional baggage. NC is not a tool to get your ex back, but it CAN help by giving yourself the chance to regain composure so you are more attractive when you are around him. You said it yourself, this type of behavior won't help. I know this is not the answer you are looking for, but distancing yourself for a while will probably help. The fact that you do not act distraught around others shows you have some emotional strength already, so take some time to get away from things and bolster that strength.

[confused2010]

It's been a couple of weeks since I've talked to him so I think I'm heading in the right direction. Yesterday was extremely hard, probably bc it was a holiday. I'm starting to understand the value of time and space apart, even though it's not always easy.

 

I appreciate honest replies. Sometimes I feel like those around me always say things that sound pleasing, but that's not what I want to hear. The truth is always the best. Thanks.

[Animelover6764]

I know how you feel (i'm a dude though lol) and i got emotional i saw my ex i kept saying i miss you on AIM and she kept basically said "i know cause...hello i know you" and would always leave saying be back later and never came back online and eventually i got fed up with it recently and stop caring but i agree with floridafan don't be around him if you know you'll break down.

 

*online Hug* hope that cheers you up a little

[confused2010]

I know how you feel (i'm a dude though lol) and i got emotional i saw my ex i kept saying i miss you on AIM and she kept basically said "i know cause...hello i know you" and would always leave saying be back later and never came back online and eventually i got fed up with it recently and stop caring but i agree with floridafan don't be around him if you know you'll break down.

 

*online Hug* hope that cheers you up a little

 

Thanks... It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there right back at ya with the hug!