just sex?? or feelings??

[ehart]

I got out of a 3 and a half year relationship 4 months ago and got to no contact about a month ago and the break up devastated me although it was the best thing for me. about 2 months ago I met this random guy at a bar and we danced and I was pretty drunk and gave him my number.. He continued to text me for about a week and met me at another bar. I was a bit nervous because i was drinking when i met him and i wasnt 100 percent sure if I was attracted to him.. well he walks into the bar and I am ridiculously attracted to him! he is so hot. Well im a bit intimidated just because of his looks and for the next 4 weeks he is trying to hang out but i was so nervouse to and just overall intimidated by him. Well he comes into my work quite a bit (im a waitress at a popular place) and we are talking and some girls come up to me and ask me how i know him and that he may sell cocaine and may have a girlfriend in a different town that he is bad news and to be carefull.. well im a bit bummed out but he continiued to text me and we started flirting and it got really heated. He works on oil rigs and comes back every couple weeks and about a month ago he came back and we slept together and have been ever since. I have never had such amazing sex.. I have never in my life been so attracted to this guy and i almost like the intimidation although its getting less and im getting more comfortable with him. Well he has a 75 thousand dollar SEXY truck and a gorgeous house and clothing and ATVs and a boat and just EVERYTHING imaginable and im not a money type of girl but rigth now i love it.. and I keep thiknig about the rumours of the drugs when I look at all his things and he made a comment about a week ago that he is stereo typed for bad things because of some of the people he hangs out with (definite drug dealers) Im starting to believe he doesnt deal because he definitly works hard on thr rigs and i had a friend that did the same and bought a brand new huge truck at 20 years old so its not impossible. At first it was just sex but now im getting a bit weird. Im so attracted to him but I know that it is 99% a dead end he introduces me to his friends and talks to me in public and stuf but I have never spent the night or had actual bonding time as in dinner or anything... I havent brought up the girlfriend because im scared to and because all we are right now is just sex. I was told him and his gf cheat all the time and "are f*cked" is the exact words i was told.. He is 25, I am 21. I dont know whats wrong with me but the other night he picked me up and we slept together and he cuddled me for the first time and left this morning for work again, I never know when he will come back it is always random and this time im upset he is gone... I think i have developed feelings which is crazy because there isnt much to develop feelings on!!! im not used to this life style and I think he is a HUGE adrenaline rush i cant get enough of.. he is a thrill. I know for a fact he is super attracted to me but i cant help but wonder why? part of that low self esteem comes from my emotionally abusive relationship before ...it wasnt good. I have only been with 3 people sexually in my life he is the 4th and this whole situation is unlike me. I dont know if im doing it because i was so controlled for 3 and a half years and im like a lion out of the cage?? Ah i dont know what to do because I would love to be sexual with him but developing feelings is like playing with fire. Any suggestions? Every time he leaves I swear i will cut it off but then I will get a random phone call saying he is in town and will pick me up and I CAN NOT control myself. How do i get the strength to break away? it upsets me that he may have a girlfriend... obviously he does not care about her but still... i just wish a nice, good guy will come around for once and save me from this.. and i wish i wasnt so attracted to this guy.. its incredible. help!!

[Maverick44]

No offense but your break-up is still pretty recent. I'm sure this guy is physically attractive to you and all but as far as the feelings/emotions go, could they still be related to your ex and moved over to this guy?

 

Hey....BTW...I'm all sex being sex, etc...but when those emotions come with a gal I wasn't anticipating or see a future with----> Maverick runs!

[alive_inside]

I don't recommend depending on a guy to "save" you from anything. It's tough but you have to learn how to find it from within yourself.

 

I was in a very similar situation and I was mistaking the adrenaline rush for a sort of head-over heels feeling. For you it probably has something to do with the fact that he might have a girlfriend that he's cheating on with you.. but if that turns out to really be the case, how would you feel in her position?

[lastcall23]

I recently just got out of the same sort of situation. We had been sleeping together since last September and we pretty much acted like a couple when we were together but when we were apart it was nothing. I started to really have feelings for this guy and I tried really hard not to because I knew he could never be what I needed him to be. This past weekend we ended things and I don't know if we will be able to salvage them for a friendship now. My point is that don't let it get to a point where your going to allow yourself to get hurt by another guy so soon. I think you should really put your foot down and walk away or at the very least, confront him about the things you've heard and ask him how he feels about whats been going on between you two.