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me again, life sucks


JTRambo99

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sorry if you people think i post to much but i really need help.

 

im booked in for hospital tomorrow for 6 weeks, you might say, good, why be suicidal then. but i am, i just cant cope, yeah, hospital might do me good, i have acess to therpists etc, but i still wanna die. I came close to killing myself last friday (or thursday, cant remember), i didnt attempt, but i had i razor ready.

 

Sigh, im probably not making any sense and just ranting. I just cant see anything good happening. im not even scared of suicide anymore, in fact if im dead in six weeks time ill be happen from now until then. LIFE JUST SUCKS

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JT, you took a very important step by seeking help and arranging treatment at the inpatient facility. That took a lot of courage. You are stronger than you realize.

 

Naturally, the dark cloud of depression is trying to creep up on you and fill you with doubt and anxiety about this next step. It's all going to be ok though. You WILL get through this low point and into the treatment that you need.

 

We are here for you,

 

Bella

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thanks bella.

 

well sonicxman, my mind is really messed up. i cant even be bothered to type anymore, my fingers hurt. i guess, i just need a reason to live. i have no meaning of life what so ever, i dont even know why i bothered posting this thread. ill be off tomorrow anyway (hospital that is).....

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Because like everyone on here, your looking for help and you came to the right spot, because your not alone. I wish you well my friend for doing the right thing and you will feel better. If you think someone is tired of hearing from you, do a little research on here. We (enotalone) has always been a ear for those needing to say something.

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By finding this site and posting your story, you showed to yourself and all of us that you still have some sense of hope and that you wish to continue you on. There are people that care out there and don't let those others out there get you down.

 

If there's anything I learned in life, it's the few people that matter and care about you that count, and the rest really don't mean a thing.

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JT two years ago I saw my brother in an even lower state than you. He had to be sectioned as he saw no point in going to hospital, and we didn't expect him to live. He had absolutely no desire to, was happy to be dying and said he had nothing to contribute to the world.

 

He has recovered, realised that people do care and include him, and has produced an enormous amount of art and music and given a lot of love and laughter.

 

He looks back at that time and can't believe he is through it.

 

So hang in there. SOME part of you wants this to happen, so you are already in a better place than he was - and he recovered.

 

May you know strength, courage and hope, and find people in the hospital you can really trust. I look forward to hearing from you later about how well you are doing.

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