Sometimes I'm fine; others, I'm not

[ElasticMagnetic]

My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me about four weeks ago.

 

For two weeks before we broke up, I was crying every night over the fact that he didn't like me anymore and that he wasn't telling me either. When we finally ended it, I walked out of his house feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt like there was no longer a reason to cry.

 

I was wrong. About a week later, I cried for the first time over how much I missed him. My life has become so dull without him there to make me laugh. He is seriously the funniest person I know, capable of making me laugh at any given moment. Since that night I broke down, I've been crying about him three to four times a week.

 

 

A friend of mine from school complimented me last week on how strong I was being considering how long Mike and I dated. She said how impressed she was with me being able to carry on with my life and not shut down every time I see him in choir or in the halls. She was obviously not aware of the nights I've spent crying over him.

 

Sometimes I actually think I might be over him. I even text my friend best friend Carly and tell her how I guy like him doesn't deserve to be with someone as awesome as me. Then the next day I'll text her saying how much I miss him and that if I did a little more of this and a little less of that, then we'd still be together.

 

I just really need to vent this. Comfort and advice would be much appreciated.

[mercurial100]

I'm afraid I dont have tons of advice to give you however I can relate to what you are going through.

 

I split up with my ex of two years a month ago. We have been NC for three weeks. When we both moved out of the apartment (we were due to move house, which didn't happen!) I felt the same weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt numb but positive.

 

However as time goes on I have different emotions. Last week I was strong, talking to other girls, having a laugh and enjoying my job. Today I dont want to talk to other girls, I miss her terribly, think of only her good points and wish I was back with her.

 

I think this is all part of the healing an I just hope our good moments occur more and last longer. Hopefully we will soon be at a point where the bad moments are few and far between. Hope it comes soon for you!

[mca1975]

This is all normal honey. You will miss him, because we get attached to people. Unfortunately, when one person in the relationship wants to leave it, we have to accept it, and its very hard.

 

I think you have been very strong. It is totally normal to cry up to four times a week, some weeks more than others. You are grieving over your lost hopes and dreams for this relationship and that is totally normal. Keep going and the crying will get few and far between eventually.

 

xx

[somberchic]

I had to stop and ask myself If I wrote this original thread in my drunken state and forgot all about it because your situation is so similar to mine. LOL. You see, about 4 weeks ago, my boyfriend whom I dated for a year and a half broke up with me...See how the story is so similar? I spent almost everyday crying for him, crying for a beautiful and happy past that we shared...I cried and wailed....and grieved....but during the daytime, people compliment me on how strong I am--they obviously haven't seen me cry. Some days I feel relieved...like a huge weight has been lifted off of me...other days, I feel like I'm mourning a death. I've been through many breakups in the past...what makes this one especially hard is that I really felt like he was "the one"...that after all my pain and heartbreak...that God was finally blessing me with lasting love. What a cruel joke God played on me. Or maybe its karma...maybe I left him in a past life so now he's doing the same to me in this lifetime. ANyways, the point is...you're not alone!