starflakes Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 My boyfriend and I (I'm a bisexual girl) had a very loving, satisfying relationship for about eight months. I thought for the first time that I was in love, because I had never been able to open up and let someone in like he did. I've always had reservations about sex, but with him, it felt so natural that any discomfort I had quickly left. On his part, he always seemed extremely enthusiastic; he never had trouble getting hard unless someone walked in on us (sadly, that happened a lot, because college is as college does) and I always felt we were very passionate about it. Sometimes I coaxed him to write me love letters because I'm a mushy girl at heart, and he wrote me beautiful things no one else has ever said. We have had our fights, but they were things we were able to talk out and recover from. We came close to breaking up once, but he started crying (he has never cried in front of me before), so I rethought my decision and we didn't go through with it. About a week after we went home for the summer, he told me he'd been thinking about his sexuality and that he was confused. This was after he had been acting distant and strange, so I confronted about him. Over the past two weeks, we've had many difficult conversations, a lot of them with us being upset at each other. He told me he's thought of other men during sex before, that he feels attracted to men, and he's not sure WHAT he is. I asked him if he is attracted to women and he says he is, and I believe him, especially because we never had any trouble in that department and he had never expressed interest in males before. While I've told him he might be bi, he seems insistent that he either end up with boys or girls and is dissatisfied with my answer that it might be a case-by-case thing for him. He told me that he can't be in this relationship if he's thinking about guys because it feels like it's cheating and he's not sure what he wants, even though I feel like idle thoughts like that aren't a problem unless he actually follows through. Of course, I'm devastated and I've been trying to help him through it. He's very wishy-washy, sometimes claiming he thinks he's probably gay but then as soon as you bring up girls, he thinks he might be bi. But he doesn't seem like he wants to be bi; for him, it's like bi is the more difficult answer for him to handle. I'm going insane because he keeps telling me he still cares for me and I make him happy but that a relationship can't make him happy until he decides he wants girls or guys. He is so damn fixated on just choosing one, I'm actually at my wit's end, especially because I'm fairly sure he's bisexual like me and just likes both... but then again, I could be wrong. I don't know why he's acting like this. Any insight? Link to comment
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