Belts Posted May 31, 2010 Share Posted May 31, 2010 It's now been 3 weeks and 5 days since she broke up with me. I have considered going full NC several times, only to ruin it by either contacting her, or responding to her initiated contacts. Two nights ago, I went to a music festival with my good friend and his brother's band. She showed up a couple hours in. I figured she might, we both go to these things. I just wasn't going let the possibility of her being there ruin a good time for me. When she showed up, she ignored my presence, and I ignored hers. I continued to have a good time, and not let her bother me. I had a few drinks, and my friends took off. I couldn't leave yet, as I do not drive drunk. I stayed in the back, where the other loners were, and continued to enjoy the show until I knew I was ready to safely drive home. She approached me, and asked if I wanted to go outside to talk. I figured, why not? I followed her out and she told me about her new job. She said she has been partying a lot. We kind of just shot the breeze until she gave me a serious look and asked me how I was doing. I told her that I'm doing alright, I just didn't feel like there was much closure. She told me that she thought there was when we talked on the phone, but that she couldn't hug me over the phone, so she wanted to give me a hug in person. We hugged, no big deal. I didn't really have much else to say, so she went back inside and said her goodbyes. At the time, we had agreed to stay friends. When I was finally ready to leave, she was walking pass me, so I told her I was taking off. I asked her if, since we agreed to be friends, we would actually be able to plan on hanging out and do friend things. She said that I just need to give her time. I said OK, goodbye, and left. Later that night she texted me saying, "It was a nice surprise to see you, lovie, take care!" I did not respond until the next morning, saying only, "It was nice seeing you too. Good luck with your new job." So now comes my huge mistake. A few hours ago she signed into her google talk account, which she is hardly ever on. I said hi, and we struck up a conversation. Things were sailing smooth and friendly, until I again ran out of things to say. She noted the awkward silence, and asked me what I was thinking about. I told her that I can't help but be confused and wonder what is going through her mind. I explained to her that it doesn't make sense to me that she told me days before she was still in love with me. I asked her that if two people are in love, then what should be holding them back? She told me that she is just not on the same page with me, and began explaining how she rushed into our relationship, our differences from our past lives, and that she has been through too much * * * * to be with someone who has had a stable life like me. These were her words. She started bringing up the little lies I had told her, which involved things like smoking cigarettes and looking at porn, and told me that we will never have a relationship again. At this point I broke. I have known for months that she slept with another woman and I have acted like I did not know, hoping she would be honest with me about it. She told me since the beginning that she is bi, and that she would tell me if something were to come up. I told her I didn't mind, as long as she was honest with me. I have undeniable proof that she slept with a woman, and possibly another MAN, during our relationship, and she never spoke a word of it to me. I finally brought this up with her, and explained that since I have known, it has been hard for me to be intimate with her, knowing she is keeping secrets. She basically admitted to it at this point, but just continued to butcher me for my white lies. I would have never done anything like what she did to me and lied about it. She refuses to see her wrongdoings. Her anger escalated, and she told me she can't be friends with someone she can't trust. I could not believe this, so I told her the same thing, and precoded to block her from everything. A little while later, she texted me saying this: "Let me know when we can meet up to exchange things. I have a TV of yours and a bunch of your clothes I wanna give back. I remember you said you have some of my stuff, too. Maybe next weekend?" And I replied: "If you want your things, you can come get them. I am not going out of my way for you. As far as my things are concerned, you can sell them, burn them, trash them, whatever. I'm sorry I misinterpreted what I thought was a relationship. I guess I am too naive. I even gave you the benefit of the doubt and kept what I knew to myself for so long. I knew speaking up to you would just make you more blind to your own wrongdoings. At least I can admit mine, if anything, to learn from my mistakes and try and become a better person. You played with my head for 2 1/2 years, and even after breaking up with me, you continue to. No more. I am done being a victim of your games. There are nothing but open doors and opportunities for me now. If anything, thank you for helping me to wake up. I hope that you can, too, someday." She then said: " * * * * in A man. I just want to exchange things. Simple as that. And we only went out for a year and a half. ((this is not true, I don't know why she needs to lie about how long we were together. we really did date for 2 1/2 years. maybe she is already forgetting?)) Stop trying to make me sound so horrible. I just want to get what's mine, OK? I suck, I'm not perfect, I get it. Just give me my * * * * and take yours." I have not responded, and I don't plan to. Her stuff is safe and sound here. If she wants it, that's where it will be. I guess I'm not really looking for advice at this point. I know I have to move on. I just wanted to post here, for some reason... *sigh* Link to comment
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