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Wow…that was an awkward phone call!! :)

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Well, after my exes mother called me a few weeks ago and asked me to call her back (after not having spoken for years and after hearing many rumours over the past six or so months that my ex was missing me and regretting leaving) I spent some time debating whether or not to call her back and tonight bit the bullet and made the call and all I can say is…what a waste of time and what an awkward conversation. Back-story on my break-up is here and here.


I hadn't spoken to her or heard from her for nearly two years, although my dad bumps into her all time, so the first thing I thought was "why the heck does she want to talk to me now?" So I call her and we chat a bit with lots of awkward gaps in the conversation (obviously…I dated her daughter years ago and we have nothing in common anymore) and she mentions her daughter (my ex) a lot and tells me all about what she's been up to and what she's doing now, so I make polite noises and say things like "good for her..that sounds great" a lot and then after about an hour of this awkwardness I say "Anyway, great to chat but I'm late for meeting my friend so I've got to go" and after she tells me I should visit her soon I hang up and sit here scratching my head thinking "What on earth was that all about?!?"


After months of telling my dad that she thinks my ex regrets leaving me, that she (her mother) thinks we should get back together and asking my dad if I'm seeing anyone, I finally chat to her and all I get is an updated history of my exes life post-Johnny P. I don't know what I expected really but I guess I expected more than this Anyway at least I've finally pulled off the band-aid and called her back, which I was very nervous to do and it all seemed to go well. Still…very strange! It's weird to be told that your ex misses you and regrets leaving and then you wait and nothing happens.


Anyhoo...just venting. Feel free to share your thoughts and clap me on the back for making such a scary and awkward call

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Yeah I did wonder myself whether this was just recon for her daughter. I mean, me and her mother got on really well when me and my ex were a couple but we've had pretty much zero contact in the years since so for her to pop up out of nowhere like this - after all the talk to my dad about her daughter regretting leaving me - was a bit strange and unexpected. Hopefully I handled the call well


And Kalgan you're absolutely right, there a big difference between someone saying they miss you and them coming back to you, but there's also a big difference between someone just saying they miss you and them saying they regret leaving you and their mother asking your relatives if you're in a relationship at the moment and saying they think you should get back together. BTW...love the avatar!!


And thanks DN for deleting the first reply to this thread. It's amazing to me how people can be so rude for no reason to strangers that are sharing their most personal thoughts and trying to get help and advice on difficult parts of their lives.

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If someone takes the initiative to break up, they should take the initiative to make up. They should have this much courage. So no 'through momsy-dadsy play' should be excepted. If she really wants you back, she will have to win you back and that means she will have to woo you this time (not her mom). I would say, not to fall for her mom's way of convincing you or her telling your dad she misses you. She left, she should come (if at all she wants to come...looks like she wants to come back).

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Absolutely!! I'm certainly not going to do anything other than get on with my life and let things play out on their own for two reasons…


1. I agree totally that if she wants me back she will have to win me back

2. I don't even know if I want her back


It's funny though…a close female friend of mine has been giving me advice all throughout my break-up and she said to me "John, if I'd dumped you and wanted you back, I'd be doing exactly what she's doing now…feeding information through to you and hoping that you'd make the first move". I said to her "So, you'd risk never getting me back rather than put yourself out there and telling me you messed up by leaving me?" and she said "Yeah…I'd be much too scared of getting hurt by you telling you'd moved on and didn't want me back". Crazy right?!?


A big part of me thinks I've misread all of this behaviour (the rumours, the accidental phone call, the stuff from her mother, my ex telling her mother that it shook her up when I said me and her were in the past etc) but it all just seems very, very suspicious and the timing is a bit too coincidental.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, another slight update to this thread (and - to be honest - this rapidly-becoming-boring for even me saga )


After speaking to my exes mother two weeks ago, I got a text from her this past weekend asking for help on buying a new car (I used to work as a mechanic years ago). Now the weird thing is, her current boyfriend is a mechanic NOW, so I've got no idea why she needed my help. I thought that when I called her it would lead to more talk about my ex but I called her on Monday and she didn't mention my ex at all and genuinely just wanted car advice.


Anyway, what made it weirder was on Sunday I got a random text from my ex! It said "Hi JP, just wanted to tell you that I just walked past our old apartment and it brought back a lot of memories. By the way, I passed my design course so I'm now a qualified designer. Yay me! I hear you're doing really well…I'm happy for you". I texted back "Yeah, I can imagine it would bring back memories. Congratulations on your course…I'm really happy for you too".


Seemed a bit weird since she texted me two months ago saying "I hear things are going great for you, I'm really happy for you" (see here) so not sure why she said it again as if it was new news?!


Anyway, just updating the thread and getting it off my chest. All my female friends still say my ex clearly wants me back. I'm still confused by it all but getting very bored of it too. Must be a good sign


Hope you're all doing well and having a good week.



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