givinggirl Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 I've been called a "monogamous serial dater" because I date only one guy at a time for an extended period. When I like a guy, I only have eyes for him. Every man I've dated has been totally wrong. Looking back, there were always red flags, but I chose to ignore. After my 3rd relationship, I decided I just need to pay attention to my gut, instead of ignoring it or letting others convince me differently. I'm 34 years old & I've wasted a total of 10.5 years on the wrong men. I've been single for over 2 years. I've always wanted to find my guy, get married & have a family. The last 1.5 years, I've been interested in a shy guy. The way he acts around me tells me he's interested too, but he won't verbalize it. I've known him for 7 years & he's hasn't dated anyone (that I know of), but he's also very private. He doesn't really discuss things with anyone, not even his best friend. I know he had one relationship that ended 12 years ago & I hear she did a number on him. I met this guy because he was friends with my ex. Not close friends, but they all hung out together. I know that he is a very loyal guy & I think he has an issue because of my ex, plus he is scared to get into relationships (obviously since he's been single for 12 years), & he is very shy around girls that he likes. I've always had great regard for him, he was the sweet, thoughtful, shy friend of my ex. They constantly teased him of being gay since he didn't date. He rarely spoke to me & was nervous around me when I was dating my ex, but when I spoke he would look at me & smile. I think he's always liked me (I didn't realize it back then because of my blinders), but now I like him back & that petrifies him. Recently, I heard he brought a girl out with him. I don't know who she was or if they're dating. I'm just wondering, if he is trying to date someone because he's so scared of liking me? Is it possible for a guy who's that shy around girls to date someone just to date them? It really doesn't make much sense because he's a slow mover & the week before he commented on how he's been single for 12 years. I'm just torn because I REALLY like this guy, we have so many similar personality traits that are hard to come by (in my experience), I think we are very compatible, & we have lots of fun together. I know we have a connection we both feel. My gut tells me he's my guy, but I'm worried he's too scared for anything to ever transpire. I've always thought, he's shy & he just needs time to get comfortable. I've tried some things along the way, but it is a deer in the headlights reaction. I'm also shy, so I have an advantage to knowing what his reactions mean. I've already fallen for the guy & I've tried to sit back & let him predict what happens because I could sense his nervousness. All his friends & family were trying to move things along because they knew we both liked each other, but it made it worse because shy people don't want to be in the spot light. This all is eating me up inside because I know how things could be if he would just take one small step. I'm just looking for some feedback & opinions for me to contemplate. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.