FootofGod Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 After my breakup: I have been thinking of things to do to keep myself busy, better my surroundings to make my life comfortable, and better myself. This included working out, eating more healthily, and cleaning, redecorating, and taking down all the decorations we put up together (I have to live here this summer while she's away - no choice). I also thought it would be nice to plant a small garden out front on the patio. I liked the idea, but, being the one with a wandering mind as I try to put away the past, I remembered how we had wanted a garden come summer. She even tried to plant some this winter indoors to be planted over the summer, but the cat ended up killing them. I realized that if I planted a garden, she's going to be living here next year (and I'm moving out - it's weird. We both live on campus). She's going to see the garden I've planted, and I thought "that's a perfect symbol for what I am doing." I am moving on and planting seeds in my life, doing the things I wanted with or without her, and bettering my life. She will no doubt see the garden that I planted, and maybe she'll have to stop and think. What has she planted? (there's also some great irony here - she's a landscape architect I know there's probably no romantic gestures that can bring her back, but I'm basically going to be leaving her with this garden, even though I didn't plan on planting it with that intention. But, can it be both? Can it be for ME and left for her when I'm gone? Is it worse to do it knowing that now that thought has crossed my mind or NOT do it because of that? Doesn't not doing something I want seem like giving her power? I want to plant a garden and, yes, I'll admit I want her to see it every day she steps outside and see what I've sewn. And I would appreciate if she decided to tend it one day after I have left. Link to comment
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