He's stopped calling every day and takes so long to reply to texts...any advice??

[Loriana]

I've been talking to a guy i've met online for 5 months now and we talk everyday. I can honestly say i've had my fair share of guys that i've talked to online but he is different to the rest we can talk all day everyday and not get bored off each other, it wasnt too long ago we told each other that we liked each other more than friends, When we first talked he made it clear that he just wanted to be friends cos hes 23 and im 17 and at first the age was kind of a big deal but now it doesnt matter cos we have so much in commom and its great.

 

4 weeks ago we began talking on the phone and we could also talk for hours on the phone too which was a relief, he used to ring me every day and talk with me and stuff it was so nice. For about 2 weeks he hasnt been calling the last time i talked to him on the phone was on monday. He still texts me every day but the thing is he takes so long to reply back to me now. I'm a bit worried cos usually he always replys back to me within an hour. I'm kind of worried hes bored of me thats why hes stopped calling every day. I'm just terrified that we're gonna end badly like all the other guys ive spoke to. I really like him what we have is special and i dont wanna lose it. Do you guys think im over reacting about this?. The reason why im sensitive to things like this is cos ive been cheated on in the past so like i need to work on my trust issues but i think u can only trust someone you've met online to a certain extent. Hes told me he trusts me 100% i wish i could say the same about him but for me i dont trust him all the way. So yeah let me know what you guys think.

[Gilroy]

I am sorry to tell you this but you are getting into a pseudo-relationship with this guy. A pseudo-relationship will feel like a real relationship but by the end of it there will be nothing there and you will have your heart broken.

 

If you want to have a real relationship with this person you MUST stop this whole sitting in front of the computer and chatting. You MUST meet in person, go on dates, and then see how things go. That is real. What you have now is an illusion. There is a very good chance that he met someone in real life and now does not have any time for you and hence the sudden drop in phone calls. Please do not continue with this any more.

[IvantheAvg]

Attraction grows in space. He is controlling the tempo of the communication and therefore controlling the relationship. You need to create some space...don't text everyday, don't respond back right away, if he calls tell him you'll call him back right away and then don't contact him until the next day. What fools call games is a necessary dance until TRUST can be established. Start caring less and watch your power grow.

[catfeeder]

Maybe you're creative enough to form great fantasies about this guy in your head, and so you're not bored. Maybe he's not so creative?

 

When you're healthy enough, at some point real life trumps fantasy.

[Fudgie]

He's cooling off for some reason. I think it's time you distance yourself from him too.

 

Nothing wrong with online relationships as long as you meet them soon and move your relationship to "real life" from the computer screen. Why not try to find someone closer to you for a real relationship?

[Loriana]

Thanks guys i dont think this will work for some reason i got my doubts i just dont see myself meeting him like ever maybe its just better to break it off cos if i talk to him for any longer and something bad hsppens im gonna get my heart broken. Also i went on this dating site that we met on and hes changed his pic when he told me he never goes on there anymore cos hes met me, i think hes met another girl or is talking to other girls. Also there was this time i was talking to him on the phone and i heard the sound that u get when u get a new message on that dating site and i confronted him about it and he was trying to tell me i was wrong i know what i heard. The thing is its just hard not knowing whether hes just busy or if hes met another girl. Maybe if i just distance myself and not completely break everything off?.

[rkye]

This is somehow familiar. What you are getting is very clear sign, that he's just not into you as much. Maybe got bored, maybe got someone else.

 

Same thing happened to me. Talked with this girl for like 6 months, everyday for couple of hours. Suddenly, she stopped being online, responding... I only get a chance to talk to her like once or twice a week, and for limited time. When i ask her directly, why she's acting like that, she get all mad, that i am suspecting her of something. It just doesnt work like that. I think she's not into me anymore, but for some reason keeping the truth away from me.

[Loriana]

This is somehow familiar. What you are getting is very clear sign, that he's just not into you as much. Maybe got bored, maybe got someone else.

 

Same thing happened to me. Talked with this girl for like 6 months, everyday for couple of hours. Suddenly, she stopped being online, responding... I only get a chance to talk to her like once or twice a week, and for limited time. When i ask her directly, why she's acting like that, she get all mad, that i am suspecting her of something. It just doesnt work like that. I think she's not into me anymore, but for some reason keeping the truth away from me.

 

I'm sorry to hear that it sucks cos you never know what the truth really is, i guess if she gets all mad when u confront her it probably means shes not into you anymore but doesnt wanna hurt your feelings by actually saying it. yestarday i confronted him about it and i sort of said in a jokingly sort of way so that i didnt sound too serious. I was like hey you take kinda long to reply back now ive read if i guy does that it means hes not into u i hope thats not the case cos that wouldnt be good lol. Then he replied and was like no babe that is not the case dont worry i like you more and more every day and if my feelings werent there anymore i would tell you the truth trust me. So ive confornted him bout it and it seems to be ok i dont really have any reason not to trust him u know.

[Fudgie]

Words are just words. As you know, actions speak louder than words.

 

If he really cared, he would be contacting you WAAYYY more and wouldn't wait so long to text you back.

 

I'm not saying to totally break it off or go ballistic on him...just cool off and don't contact him as much. Go back on the dating sites and find someone who is worth your time.

[rkye]

Thats good to hear. I didnt mean to sound harsh in my last post, i mean, there is always a chance that he has a good reason (work, school, etc.) and is actually still very much into you. Just... that isnt usually the case, atleast from my experience.

 

I guess best way to find out is by doing exactly same as him. Dont text/msg him. Wait for him to initiate the convo. Let him prove his words by actual actions.

[vivia12]

from someone who has diefinately been there and done that wwith the online cyber psuedo relations,most of the time they have met someone else,or talking to someone that they would want to meet.

do yourself a favor and back off,it will either hurt now if you dont or later,be prepared if you two have a conversation when he feels like chatting and then he says i met someone else.

 

Sorry to sound skeptical,hopefully it wont be the case for you,but those words have haunted me now for three years. i'd rather meet someone in person then get my hopes up high with someone i have not yet met in person.