Feel like I'm letting this slip away...

[Solonow]

So my GF and I split up about 2 weeks ago now, and I've had the bare minimum contact with her, I've seen her twice, one of those times being this morning, as we were exchanging items, but I was being really formal and just expecting to get the items and that was that, but she wanted to talk and spend a little bit of time with me, I've been trying to do the none contact things and its been going pretty well. Apart from the twice when we 'had' to meet.

 

I feel like me putting on this face that portrays I don't give a damn about the situation, is driving us further apart. She was really upset today, and when I left she give couldn't stop hugging me, and then when I actually when into my house and closed the door, I looked down from my window and she was in the car crying her eyes out (for about 10 mins after I shut the door).

 

This makes me feel really upset, and just want to try my hardest to get her back, but I'm not the type to go running after someone that finished things. Showing a weakness like running after her, texting all the time, ringing her is something I wont do, but I feel like me doing nothing is not helping the situation. I love her, and it just feels stupid to sit here and do nothing about the fact the most important person in my life is crying her heart out, and obviously feels really upset.

 

I don't want to let this one go, any suggestions?

[einsteins_girl]

Why did she break up with you?

[IvantheAvg]

I feel like me putting on this face that portrays I don't give a damn about the situation, is driving us further apart.

 

Incorrect...you are doing fine...the minute you step back in the ring...the carpet gets pulled out from under you...beware her tears.

[jenna-is-here]

You are doing the right thing. She could be crying for many reasons...maybe she realizes this is the final time she will see you for a long time, or it could be she is unsure of her decision, or it could be anything else.

 

But one thing is for sure, she needs to figure out what she wants and no amount of you running after her is going to help her figure it out.

 

When you two broke up, did you make it clear that this was not what you wanted?

[jellysandwich]

Incorrect...you are doing fine...the minute you step back in the ring...the carpet gets pulled out from under you...beware her tears.

 

What kind of ring has a carpet?!

 

But he's right. Getting back together so soon will most likely lead to failure.

 

Keep up the NC; its actually the best thing you can do. She's trying to use you and gradually detach with you, so don't give her the satisfaction.

[somberchic]

Sometimes a girl purposely pushes a guy away to see how far and beyond he'll come back chasing her. Call it a game, but that is the truth. Here's the thing. If you were really good at showing her love and affection to begin with--she would'nt need to test you or play this game. I dated a guy like you once. Not very good at showing how much he cared, not willing to swallow his pride to keep me...I broke up with him...and I didn't even know if he cared or not. Well, fast forward 10 years later...I bumped into him, only for him to confess to me that he never should've let me go...and that the breakup was the most painful thing he's ever experienced...And I'm like, " Okay...why couldn't you express yourself 10 years ago?...it's waaaaay too late now...I don't feel the same anymore"....And his answer was that he was too prideful to come back chasing me....Okay, so it took him 10 years to swallow his pride...too late buddy!

[jellysandwich]

Sometimes a girl purposely pushes a guy away to see how far and beyond he'll come back chasing her. Call it a game, but that is the truth. Here's the thing. If you were really good at showing her love and affection to begin with--she would'nt need to test you or play this game.

 

On the flip side, why would you want to be with a girl who plays such games?

[lia86]

Fast forward 10 years later...I bumped into him, only for him to confess to me that he never should've let me go...and that the breakup was the most painful thing he's ever experienced...And I'm like, " Okay...why couldn't you express yourself 10 years ago?...it's waaaaay too late now...I don't feel the same anymore"....And his answer was that he was too prideful to come back chasing me....

 

Wow... really. That's unbelievable. Wow...

[mercurial100]

On the flip side, why would you want to be with a girl who plays such games?

 

 

I'm glad you wrote that. I wrote a response but didn't hit the "submit reply" button at risk of being banned!

[somberchic]

She wouldn't have to play games or test his love for her, if he was giving it to her from the beginning. No girl wants to play games...all we want is to know that the guy cares and loves us...but if he's not showing it...then we test it.

[Solonow]

We broke up as things were not very good between us for the week before we broke, and it was grey days. Before this, however we have a very good time!

 

She text me after we met yesterday saying she had a really good time, etc! I've not text her back, but if she is actually playing games, and I want to keep her I should contact her right?

 

So confusing...... argh!

[somberchic]

If you want her back you should text her back. I take back what I said earlier. Its not really a game. Its more like trying to figure out if the guy really loves us or not.

[britomart]

As previous posters have said, it strongly depends on how you broke up If you didn't show her you cared in the relationship, you may have a chance to rectify now. Don't resert to being desperate though.

 

Keep in mind...she might cry and be confused because she misses you, but that doesn't mean you wants to get back with you.

[Solonow]

I think its safe to say we both got completely and utterly confortable with each other, and therefore took each other for granted, as you do! I've made the mistake of talking a partner for granted in previous relationships, but ofcourse it works both ways.

 

We don't live together, but live quite close to each other, well, for the next much at least, until I move home - was planning on staying in the same location, but now we've broke up I dont see much reason to stay there as most of my friends and family are back home. We'd planned a lot, such as the next year and the possibility of moving in together - these were her ideas.

 

The reason we broke up is also a bit complicated. We were fine and everything was going well, ofcourse it could have been better, but then one day we had a conversation about and it lead to an argument, so we left it at that, and she had to go to work, so we didnt' finish the 'conversation'. It was then about a week were we didn't speak much, and was being really brief in text messages on hardly any phone calls, we then met up a week later and had a great time, went for a walk on the river front, had a great morning and went to dinner together, she had to leave for work in the afternoon, but before that she said she doesn't know if she feels completely in the relationship , and me being me, said 'thats fine, i'm not going to pressure you to be in a relationship that you dont feel 'in'. Now this makes me think she doesn't feel 'in' the relationship because we hadn't talked much for the past week, and not being our usual selves.

 

When we met last she also said she wants to see me next week, and also when I go back to visit my family she wants to come visit. I think I'll give her a text later on today as I feel me not getting in contact with her is making the situation worse, if thats even possible.

 

Even if thinks do go pear shape I should give her the respect she deserves by responding, rather than ignoring her?

 

I do miss her, and really wish I could sort this out, but she threw our relationship up in the air, and I told her I would not come running after her if this is the case. But she continues to text me and want to meet up!

[Solonow]

and to add, I've not contacted her yet! She has text me again asking me how I am, and what I'm doing, and whether I want to meet up again with her, of course this fills me with hope but I know it could just be that she misses me.

[Solonow]

I think next time we meet up I'm going to to mention getting back and working on what went wrong! Good or bad move, I've given up! What have I got to lose? o.O

[jellysandwich]

Your dignity.

 

More importantly, a successful reconciliation. It's too early...

[iJester]

Just meet up with her, and tell her this is the last time; you want a reconciliation and ask her not to speak to you for anything unless it's getting back together. That way you win no matter what, you stop the games, you tell her what you want, and you're ending this friendship nonsense.