wheatgrass82 Posted May 29, 2010 Share Posted May 29, 2010 I'd love any advice. I dont care how crazy i sound. I'm amongst friends, right? So I got back together with my boyfriend after a breif separation. Trouble is now I'm so hurt and my self esteem has taken a beating.. I'm not the sexy, confidant funny girl i used to be with him. I left him becuase after 15 months i never felt included in his life. we were great together and i loved him dearly and i know he loved my dearly too... but he's unconventional. I saw pictures of him at a couple of big events and he'd lied to me about them.. one was an internationally televised event! when i think about him there.. surronded by all the glamour and excitement... girls all dressed up.. people feeling happy... and this kills me.. ring girls parading around... and i think about me sitting on my counch at home worrying about him becuase he is not answering his phone.. well i just feel taken for granted. i used to love dressing up for him... i became more confidant than ever becuase i had to be in order to have the relationship i wanted.... without insecurities.. but i put in thagt effort and he couldnt give me what i wanted in return.. to be his queen like i made him my king he called me from a bridge wanting to jump after we broke up confessing he used to get raped by his preist as a boy and his mother and father beat him as they accused him of lying.. he says this is why he always pushed ppl away... now he is ready to change.. but im so hurt i dont have the desire to be that girl i used to be for him. and no... not for myself either. how do i start to care for myself again while i'm with the person that made me feel so unappreciated? i feel like i dont want him to have a hot sexy gf.. cause he had that chance and he killed her. just so fkn hurt. Link to comment
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