Told I need to change

[justsomeguy1]

So I am incredibly furious with something that happened at work today and I sure dont know how to handle it.

 

I work retail, electronics to be specific. I have a very technical background and very good with sales. In the year I have been in my position I have taken my store from last in the district. I bust my ass to make my store a lot of money and furthermore to help other departments and coworkers to get what they needed done in the time allowed.

 

There is a lot of stress, so much work and not enough time to do it all. There is an elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about and I am fine with that but some days I am just not in a good mood. On top of my work stress I have a lot of personal stress in my life, to be more specific a few months ago my mother slit her wrists, I have moved into a new place and have no money, because i have no money I have no social life and I am in love with a co worker who is not interested in me that way and every day I see her I am reminded. Needless to say some days it is hard to throw on a fake smile.

 

Here is my problem. I was told today that I make some coworkers uncomfortable and feel I disrespect them. I asked for specific examples because I need to know what I am doing wrong if I am able to fix it. The manager wouldnt give me specific examples of what people said I did. What little I did find out supposedly I do not always acknowledge people when they talk to me but I cannot think of one time when someone was speaking to me that i ignored them. It is a peeve of mine so I dont do it to other people. No matter how many times I asked for a specific instance he would not tell me who it was, what they said to me and what I did in return. I feel people are saying things against me and I have no way of defending myself cause they wont tell me what I did. On top of that my mood is like a roller coaster, some times I feel like being social and other times I just want to do my work. Now I feel like I have to be fake and force a conversation when I dont want to just so they can be comfortable around me.

 

Am I wrong for being pissed about this?

[spearntime]

It just seems as though things are really stressful for you right now. I was just confronted by something similar but it was in a social circle. I knew who it was, and told the person I had no intention of making them feel bad. I let them know how stressful things were at the time, and that I was sorry if I made them feel bad.

 

You can't make everyone happy all of the time.

 

You don't have to worry about making conversation with everyone.

 

Is there a way to just explain that life has been really stressful and that there have been family stresses for you to deal with?

 

Sometimes that just helps.

 

And the next time the manager tries this one on you just explain that you had no ill intentions, you think the person worried is overly sensitive, and you'd like to just clear it up with them. But you can't do that until you know exactly who it is.

 

Good luck...

[IntotheWild]

I hate to bear the bad news, but when a superior gives you a bad review or criticism while being vague and without telling you what you're doing wrong, it generally means they're setting you up for termination. If I were you, I'd start putting in applications elsewhere.

[jimbojones100]

I wouldn't worry about it. You have enough on your mind. Work on what the manager said, don't do it anymore, and move on.

 

It's easy to dwell on personal criticism of any kind and certainly at work, but learn and forget about it.

[hvzgg]

termination? possibly but i doubt it.

 

here is the opportunity to try* and improve your attitude. things aren't going your way, man, i can relate to that. your work is all you seem to have at the moment. instead of working like a hound to please them and better their sales, become a better employee to customers AND your peers. maybe then things will get better.

 

i am sorry to hear about your mom. keep your head up.

[IntotheWild]

termination? possibly but i doubt it.

 

 

If someone wants you to do better at something, they'll tell you what you're doing wrong and how to fix it. If they refuse to tell you any of that, it's because they want you to fail.

[hvzgg]

If someone wants you to do better at something, they'll tell you what you're doing wrong and how to fix it. If they refuse to tell you any of that, it's because they want you to fail.

 

from what i gathered, the OP wanted to know the specific circumstance, individual, etc.

 

perhaps the OP would benefit from different advice than an "abandon all hope" attitude.

[IntotheWild]

perhaps the OP would benefit from different advice than an "abandon all hope" attitude.

 

Why would someone abandon all hope from losing a job? It's a sad reality, but people lose jobs. Would you rather the OP be caught off guard and canned with no notice or would you agree that it would be better if the OP prepared himself and tried to line up something else now while there's some extra time?

 

If nothing happens at the current job, then no harm has been done by looking for other jobs. But if the OP is let go and he hasn't prepared for it, then it will be that much harder.