ziggie31 Posted May 28, 2010 Share Posted May 28, 2010 I've gotten on a HUGE positive thinking spree lately. My bf and I broke up a couple of days ago and of course I was/am heartbroken. But either the space to myself or the shock of it has really jolted my confidence back into action. It had been shattered by my previous ex and never had the chance to fully recover as I was too dependent on my bf to allow myself to grow. With this confidence has come a lot of positive thoughts which has been incredibly uplifting, healing, and beneficial to myself and those around me. When I cried and pleaded for my bf on the phone to take me back, he clammed up and didn't want to talk. But when I calmed down, spoke with confidence, and kept an understanding and upbeat demeanor, he relaxed a lot. We've already been able to grab ice cream together and hang out as friends, and I fully believe we're on the road to recovery, as every day he sees a little bit more of how my confidence is changing me for the better. When I start feeling negative or hopeless, I just stop and take some deep breaths. I turn to friends to distract me and keep me company, or listen to inspiring music. I took some photos of myself, messed around with them a little in a photo editor until they looked gorgeous, and now if I'm feeling down about myself I can just pull up the picture and look at it - a little vain but it's a GREAT confidence boost And it doesn't hurt to make sure the ex knows what he's missing out on!! Also I make sure to stay positive when talking to friends. They are great to rely on if you need to vent or have a shoulder to cry on, but if I follow that up with something positive, like "I'm sure it will all work out regardless," even that little bit can raise my spirits! It's been really fun to apply this to all parts of my life. One thing I'm still bad at dealing with is jealousy - I hate being excluded from activities and missing out on fun things. When I was talking to my ex, he dropped that he's going to the mountains to stay with friends next weekend, which means lots of drinking and pot smoking and having a really great time. At first I was really jealous and had no idea how I could ever distract myself for an entire weekend. But always try to find the silver lining... now if I start thinking about it, I reassure myself by saying that it doesn't matter, because no amount of weed or alcohol will ever make him feel as good as I can Just repeating things like this to myself helps them to feel true, and keeps me from drowning under all the stress and sadness associated with a breakup. So I suppose this is the start of my story of personal growth. There really isn't much point to this other than to get my thoughts out, but if it helps anyone then excellent And I would also love if other people could contribute their stories, tips, advice, etc.! The world could always use more positivity!! Link to comment
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