It was a sad night last night, so many memories in our old house...

[mca1975]

So I packed up the last of my things from our lovely home last night. It was sad. The whole time I was there, which was about two hours, I was just thinking constantly about the memories in the house. When I was in the bedroom, I was thinking about the nights we spent together, good and bad. When I found out I was pregnant in the very toilet I was cleaning, how I had made us dinner in the kitchen I was cleaning.....

 

It was really quite horrible. It is a lovely house and the garden is absolutely beautiful. A cottage in a field with nature all around. I miss that so much. However, there is an unhappy feeling in that home, an oppressive feeling. And I knew that I had to leave him, when I had started dreading him coming home from work. I knew that wasn't right.

 

I totally miss the person I thought he was, but not the person he actually is.

 

He turned up at the house last night while I was cleaning, which I wasn't expecting and I actually screamed out of fright b/c he made me jump. He was still the same old HIM and moaned at me for being scared and jumping. All he does is TELL, TELL, TELL, MOAN, MOAN, MOAN, TAKE, TAKE, TAKE.

 

It is sad that two people who were once best friends, then lovers, turned out to not be friends at all and not even know each other.

 

You live and learn....

[Hermes]

You live and learn....

 

You do indeed, Mca.

 

I wish you strength, luck and all the best in your life. It is a sad end to things, and I hope many other doors, happier ones, open for you.

 

H

[emma j]

hi mca, i've been following your story and thought i'd comment.

 

you can look can on this and be happy that you can now move on with your life and fine someone who doesn't TELL, TELL, TELL, MOAN, MOAN, MOAN, TAKE, TAKE, TAKE.

 

It must have been tough cleaning out the last of your stuff, but, its done now and you won't ever need to go back and you won't ever need to see him again. So this is a new chapter in your life.

 

I hope you got somewhere else to live, i read you had irish traveller living above you.. eh, i'm irish, move now!!!!

 

I'm currently one week broken up from my ex and all i can hold onto is I DESERVE MORE THAN WHAT HE GAVE ME, and less face it what he gave me wasn't alot.

 

Good luck x

[lavenderdove]

At least you are done now and can really start putting this behind you!

 

When i divorced, we had to sell a house I'd had built and lovingly landscaped all the gardens myself etc., and i sat on the front porch and cried the last time i had to leave it. But i realized i was crying more for losing a HOUSE and not for leaving a person, so that told me the decision to leave him was absolutely right because he was nothing but a problem and a drain that made living in such a lovely house misery! It was a dream house but he was a nightmare husband and though i loved the house, it wasn't worth the misery and constant stress and doom and gloom he rained down on me every single day.

 

I reminded myself i had some lovely moments with my beautiful flowers, but he spoiled it every day by his bad humour and personal problems. I just couldn't do it anymore, and shouldn't have to do it anymore. when i realized that, i felt much freer, and just made a promise to myself that one day i would live in a nice place again WITHOUT all that stress.

 

I have since moved on to other nice houses and gardens (and have one right now), so you will get past it, and your dream of living in a country house isn't over since you can do it again, just the bad part of living with HIM in a house where you were miserable is over.

 

I don't know what you do for a living, but why not look for some education/training to get a really good job with great pay that allows you to get that dream house on your own sooner? You've got time now, and with online colleges now, you can do that fully online while working if necessary.

[cynthiastout]

I have just joined enotalone, and your story has touched me. The closest thing to this I have experienced was my parents breaking up, and my mother and me left the family home.... all the good memories kept coming back to me and it was hard at first, but new memories will be made and you will be happy again.

 

Just look forward to a lovely home, with a garden and everything you want, but this time without all the "moan moan moan, take take take". It will be fabby

 

x

[mca1975]

I am so very appreciative of everyone's messages they have left here. It touches me that there are so many other people who have been through the same and who understand how it hurts. It is just nice to vent these feelings and have people understand. Thank you so much x

[mca1975]

LavenderDove, I really feel for you that you had to let your dream home go like that, such a terrible shame.

 

It really is true that you can live in a beautiful home but be totally unhappy. I blame the fact that he is so very uptight and bossy, immature and very selfish. I will never get over, nor understand, how he could only think of himself after I lost our baby and how he continues to think of himself now. It really hurts me. That is what decided it for me, I couldn't love somebody like that. I would go out of my way to comfort someone who was hurting like that, but he couldn't even do that for me, his girlfriend. Too wrapped up in himself and his own needs.

 

But yes, onto pastures new now. I'm so glad you have found happinness in other nice homes/gardens since. I miss putting the bread and leftover food out for the birds and animals in the garden...

 

x

[mca1975]

I have just joined enotalone, and your story has touched me. The closest thing to this I have experienced was my parents breaking up, and my mother and me left the family home.... all the good memories kept coming back to me and it was hard at first, but new memories will be made and you will be happy again.

 

Just look forward to a lovely home, with a garden and everything you want, but this time without all the "moan moan moan, take take take". It will be fabby

 

x

 

Hi Cynthiasout, That must have been so hard for you and your mother. You are so right in what you say, at least I do not have the ""moan moan moan, take take take" to put up with anymore, as it was really killing me inside xx

[mca1975]

hi mca, i've been following your story and thought i'd comment.

 

you can look can on this and be happy that you can now move on with your life and fine someone who doesn't TELL, TELL, TELL, MOAN, MOAN, MOAN, TAKE, TAKE, TAKE.

 

It must have been tough cleaning out the last of your stuff, but, its done now and you won't ever need to go back and you won't ever need to see him again. So this is a new chapter in your life.

 

I hope you got somewhere else to live, i read you had irish traveller living above you.. eh, i'm irish, move now!!!!

 

I'm currently one week broken up from my ex and all i can hold onto is I DESERVE MORE THAN WHAT HE GAVE ME, and less face it what he gave me wasn't alot.

 

Good luck x

 

Emmaj, you are very brave for walking away from a relationship that is not making you happy, knowing that you deserve more. Good things will come to you because of that choice. I understand how it hurts when your partner is not prepared to put the effort in. My ex was crushed for about a week when I told him I was leaving him, then he turned into an a** and he made no effort at all to win be back or try and see things from my point of view. It was a case of TELL, TELL, TELL, MOAN, MOAN, MOAN again.

 

My family are Irish too, but they're normal respectable people, not like these lot. Mind you, things have been quite calm for a week, but we'll see this weekend, lol x

[mercurial100]

I went through something very similar three weeks ago. I was left to empty out apartment (when she said she wanted to split I moved out whilst she moved out and then came back to finish up) and it was an absoloutley massive job. Because the news came so much out of the blue every single cupboard was full and the fridge/freezer were completely full of food. It took me 15 hours to move out and I went back the following day to put the keys back.

 

HOWEVER it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders once it was done and the new environment I am in now (it's only my parents) has really helped me. I am doing better not being there than I would be if I was there.

 

Good luck, you'll get through it.

[FaceBlaster]

Why do women end up turning their 'best friend husbands' into monsters?...I really don't get it..a man who loved you once doesn't just fall out of love..

[jenna-is-here]

wow. it is great you can look at him in this light. it is a new chapter in your life, there will be many more gardens!

[mca1975]

I went through something very similar three weeks ago. I was left to empty out apartment (when she said she wanted to split I moved out whilst she moved out and then came back to finish up) and it was an absoloutley massive job. Because the news came so much out of the blue every single cupboard was full and the fridge/freezer were completely full of food. It took me 15 hours to move out and I went back the following day to put the keys back.

 

HOWEVER it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders once it was done and the new environment I am in now (it's only my parents) has really helped me. I am doing better not being there than I would be if I was there.

 

Good luck, you'll get through it.

 

Thanks for your post, it was I that ended our relationship because I was not happy. I made the right decision, but its been hard walking away all the same.

[mca1975]

Why do women end up turning their 'best friend husbands' into monsters?...I really don't get it..a man who loved you once doesn't just fall out of love..

 

Don't really understand your post. He did love me once yes and I loved him, but he has a very different idea of love to what I perceive it as. He did not treat me right.

[jenna-is-here]

Trust me, my bf moved out of our townhouse and I am still there waiting for it to sell. My worst times of days are when I wake up and come home at night and have to be in that big empty place. There are triggers and memories all over it. I would give anything for it to sell so I can get a new environment with no memories. It has definitely slowed my recovery.

 

Also, I dont get the post either about women turning the men into monsters?

[doyathink]

I remember doing that same thing. Going room to room, and the memories from each. It takes a long time to make new memories, but when they happen....its a wonderful feeling. I wish you all the best....you'll find that new chapter in your life opening up soon

[mca1975]

Trust me, my bf moved out of our townhouse and I am still there waiting for it to sell. My worst times of days are when I wake up and come home at night and have to be in that big empty place. There are triggers and memories all over it. I would give anything for it to sell so I can get a new environment with no memories. It has definitely slowed my recovery.

 

Also, I dont get the post either about women turning the men into monsters?

 

You poor thing, wish it sells for you xxx