I feel....

[nguyenal]

Sort of peaceful. No guy = no drama. I guess I have more time too and sometimes, I have to admit, I do feel lonely. But I will try to go out there more and do something for the society. I want to volunteer and help the poor. I hope to use my time to better myself.

 

I am 20 and in school right now. I came from a strict family. I have gone through 2 crazy breakups. The first one torn me to pieces but I got over it and I learned. I guess I used to have a lot of issues. I was clingy, low-self esteem, etc. Then I met another person after 6 months. I thought that he was the one. We dated but some issues emerged. I broke up with him and I became clingy after a while. I knew that I should break it off right from the start since my inner voice told me that it is not going to work. After the break, despite of the fact that it is the right thing to do, I crashed and I felt that again, another failure of my life. I moped and somehow, I could not cry. I tortured myself for being so stupid and did not play "the game." I blamed myself for not being smart enough and let him chase after me.

 

Now- I finally accepted and I have no longer in contact with him. I erased him from fb and from my memories. He is a great guy but not a guy for me.

 

I really need to be alone for a long time to work on myself. I need to be stronger and be the person that I wanted to be. I need to success in my career and try harder in life.

 

My parents and friends are standing next to me. I cannot disappoint them. No wonder how hard the road ahead, I want to try to live a great life. I want to try first and keep on trying until I can be fully happy.

 

Sometimes, I feel that life is meaningless without love. I love to have someone to care and to cherish. But I know I should not feel that way. I need to be stronger.

 

 

[jimbojones100]

Sounds like you're doing pretty well! You learn from each relationship you're in and it will make the next one that much better.

[nguyenal]

Thanks. I hope to find Mr.Right sometimes in the future.

 

Now...I am still trying to heal and forgive myself.

[jenna-is-here]

You sound so healthy. Your attitude about things is great. After my breakup I felt the same, like what is the point of *anything* if you are not in love.

 

It took me sometime but I slowly realized that love is everywhere. With family, with friends, etc. Not the same kind of love, but still love. And the intimate love with a partner will find us again when we are strong and healthy. And you sound like you are in a great frame of mind.