After reading all the virginity threads... a thought:

[hexaemeron]

I'd say that if you actually go into the dating world with a mindset that there are women who are only there for you to hump and then look down on them for having sex with you, that they're really not the one with the problem.

[Blue Spiral]

I don't want some trashy hoe

 

If you switched teams and time-traveled back to the 1800s, you could get a stylish rake instead!

[HouseKitten]

you can't sit here and tell me that being with more and more dudes does not in the least bit 'lower' someone's value.

 

There is no set scale for how many men at what age is appropriate. I'm 23 and I've slept with five men. That I would say is probably about average. But I don't really care if that number were fifteen, or twenty-five. What does it say about me as a person? Potentially very little - some people have very wild teenage years and go on to become more reserved and sensible adults. Why judge someone purely on their past when you weren't there and have no idea what circumstances led to that number being reached?

 

My boyfriend doesn't remember clearly how many women he's slept with. He's 26, and he's pretty sure it's between twenty and thirty. Do I care? No! He's completely monogamous and entirely clean. Why judge him on his younger years? Although he had a lot of one night stands, he also had long-term relationships. He has never cheated. I would be incredibly insulted if someone tried to tell me he was worth less than other men somehow, just because he's slept with a few girls.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Why is it that the gay men are more appreciative and less judgmental of women than the men who actually want to date women? I found that quite laughable.

 

You are comparing a person to an item of clothing or a car. Wow.

[Cognitive_Canine]

If you switched teams and time-traveled back to the 1800s, you could get a stylish rake instead!

 

One of my favourite old-timey insults.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Well doesn't it get loose and stretched out over time?

It's like buying a car. When you buy a new car, you love the new car smell, everything's nice and soft and smooth, and very crisp. Several owners later, the car smells like cigarettes, food, coffee, stains all around, worn out parts, in need of maintenance, loose clutch, scratched surface, loose bearings, etc. etc. Someone's already been there, done it, taken full use of it, and now it's value is well depreciated.

 

Doesn't quite work the same with men does it? Only adds to our value if anything.

 

No, it doesn't. Unless you are having sex with extremely large men, it isn't getting stretched out.

 

So, really, a woman could get a 10 inch man for her first partner and be stretched out when only having been with one man. And even then it'll go back to almost the same size with time. My partner is on the large size and if we don't have sex for a month or two (we're long distance) it always hurts like heck again the next time.

[Wayfara]

It's like buying a car. When you buy a new car, you love the new car smell, everything's nice and soft and smooth, and very crisp. Several owners later, the car smells like cigarettes, food, coffee, stains all around, worn out parts, in need of maintenance, loose clutch, scratched surface, loose bearings, etc. etc. Someone's already been there, done it, taken full use of it, and now it's value is well depreciated.

 

Doesn't quite work the same with men does it? Only adds to our value if anything.

 

No, I don't think more users increases the value of a man. He's like a toothbrush, second hand toothbrushes are tainted, I wouldn't use it without boiling and killing off the germs first... and I only buy new unused toothbrushes. If it wasn't a waste of money I would get a new every week (joking).

 

On a more serious note, no I don't think a guy's number increases his value. I don't think the number of sex partners increase or decrease the value of anyone, we are not items. When I was a teenager I used to think a high number meant a guy was wanted, and a low number the reverse. But a high number could just be a desperate guy chasing anything breathing and willing, and low number someone choosy passing up a lot of offers. I understand if a virgin might be more comfortable with another virgin, but someone with experience isn't really in the position to judge the same behavior in someone else. The worn out argument is like saying we decrease in value little by little every day as our limbs get more and more worn out.

[friendsoulmate]

I understand if a virgin might be more comfortable with another virgin, but someone with experience isn't really in the position to judge the same behavior in someone else.

 

With this being said, there is no need for a stigma placed on male virgins, often coming from non-virgins, and there should be no argument. These kind of threads turn into an argument about free will. Live and Let-live. I am a virgin. I do seek a female virgin to lose my virginity with, within marriage. This is how I felt when I was 20 and this is how I feel 20 years later, when I am 40. I hope to be married soon.

[generaldiscord]

I also have to wonder how many women he's been with himself. I would hate to think he was intimidated by a woman with more experience.

 

Ah, but there's the rub.

 

I was quite surprised that sex is exactly opposite than what we learn in school. It isn't great and wonderful the first time, it's painful and tight. It isn't great or wonderful the next dozon times. In fact, I didn't learn to enjoy it until a few months later, and many girls I know take much longer. No, it doesn't stretch out like a saggy old piece of rubber. Experienced lovers have the ability to control that.

 

So here am I thinking, "I'm not a virgin! I am not painfully tight! I won't cry anymore when he tries it! I know how to show him a great time and have a great time myself!

 

But many guys are thinking "She's not a virgin. It will be like pumping a wet sock. She gave the most special precious moment to another guy long ago, and now sex is meaningless."

 

Intimidated? yes. Disgusted? also. Maliciously uninformed? Definitely.

[MD Geist]

Not to be unkind, MD, but beggars can't be choosers.

 

I'm not begging. I'm chosing!

 

My mother told me I could find these female virgins in church groups. If you happen to meet a true female virgin in a church group, she is usually picky and hard-to-get and not easy-to-get. Young, beautiful, athletic, goal-oriented, college student man would interest any young woman. I wasn't all of those things. What strategies could I have used to spark her interest in me?

 

Funny that you mentioned that because I know a couple of girls right now with these traits and they will not give ANY guy the time of day. However they will give a player a shot.

 

Also, I agree with Pinkelephant. "Mileage"? And you boys wonder why we don't want to have sex with you. You seem to think it lowers our value.

 

 

I have a friend out in houston who does relationship videos on youtube and in one his advice videos he talked about the mileage concept. Honestly id much rather be with a girl with the lease amount of mileage than one who's racking up close to a million. He looks as women as cars. I sort of agree with the concepts.

 

Like a car the higher the mileage the more issues you've gotta deal with, I'm not looking for no Honda civic with 500k I want the exotic in the showroom floor with next to nothing on it. So yeah in a way it can hurt you in your search for a good man. like I wouldn't want to take a shot with someone I know who has had sex with over 100 men. Thats one large roster to over look and ANY of those guys could have had some STD and she could be trying to pass it on to me.

[generaldiscord]

Let me help you understand the difference between women and cars.

Women are not possessions. While a car will stay with you from the moment you buy it till the second it is repossessed/stolen/sold, Women can generally leave at any time, almost like normal humans. I bet you don't go onto the showroom floor looking for an exotic rich car which will go with you off the lot free of charge. Similarly, you can't expect to go and buy a smart independent female who will stay with you for the rest of your life.

 

Women have feelings. Unlike your car, which can be replaced with a completely identical car, women are objects with completely the same biological complexity as normal human beings. As a result, if you try to treat a woman like a car, the woman will be angry that you left her in the garage all day and then come back and expect to take her for a ride. Conversely, if you treat your car like a woman, I suggest you use the garage to avoid public indecency charges.

 

Women regenerate spontaneously See, if you get a scratch on the paint of your car, it stays scratched. Every piece of that machinery is eventually succumbing to fatigue and eventual uselessness. Women however, due to their human like biological makeup, posses the ability to regenerate and revive their parts to a certain degree. Although the process cannot continue forever, it has been optimized in the sense that most likely, a woman the same age as you will outlast you.

 

In case that was too difficult for you to understand, I have prepared a short list:

 

Cars

• Must be bought
  
• Have no feelings
  
• Have a lifespan of roughly 20 years
  
• Have no regenerative powers
  
• Strictly decrease in value
  
• Cannot drive themselves
  
• Cannot understand you
  
• Have no possibility of achieving financial independence
  
• Have no possibility of achieving any independence
  

 

Women

• Indistinguishable from Normal Humans.
  

 

](*,)

[generaldiscord]

Well doesn't it get loose and stretched out over time?

 

It's like buying a car. When you buy a new car, you love the new car smell, everything's nice and soft and smooth, and very crisp. Several owners later, the car smells like cigarettes, food, coffee, stains all around, worn out parts, in need of maintenance, loose clutch, scratched surface, loose bearings, etc. etc. Someone's already been there, done it, taken full use of it, and now it's value is well depreciated.

 

Doesn't quite work the same with men does it? Only adds to our value if anything.

 

It seems that you too have a problem distinguishing women from cars. Please refer to the post above this one.

[hexaemeron]

See, this is what society's ridiculous expectations do to people. Little girls grow up thinking sex is awful and disgusting, even though you're supposed to use sex to control a man, and men think having sex with women en masse is awesome, you can't possibly respect a woman who dares give it up.

 

Staring inside the hetero box from the outside, I think all yall are crazy.

[MD Geist]

 

Women

• Indistinguishable from Normal Humans.
  

 

](*,)

 

 

You mean more complicated than normal humans to understand.

 

BTW if that is you in your avatar you are cute!.

 

I just thought id say that.

[Wayfara]

With this being said, there is no need for a stigma placed on male virgins, often coming from non-virgins, and there should be no argument. These kind of threads turn into an argument about free will. Live and Let-live. I am a virgin. I do seek a female virgin to lose my virginity with, within marriage. This is how I felt when I was 20 and this is how I feel 20 years later, when I am 40. I hope to be married soon.

 

Yes, live and let live. Preferences are okay, a virgin may want another virgin and an experienced person might want the same in his partner, I just don't like double standards. A male virgin isn't worse than a female virgin, and woman with a high number isn't worse than a man with a high number, men and women should be judged the same. Optimally we shouldn't judge at all, we can have preferences without calling all virgins losers and all with experience easy.

 

To the question in the OP, I know two older ladies who believe in waiting for marriage, and they never married. I think both are virgins, one was engaged but her boyfriend didn't want to wait so she broke up with him, he died a year later and she never got over it. The other one got a crush when she was in her thirties, first and only time, she didn't pursue it. But I don't know any older male virgin and I don't know which one is more usual.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Yes, live and let live. Preferences are okay, a virgin may want another virgin and an experienced person might want the same in his partner, I just don't like double standards. A male virgin isn't worse than a female virgin, and woman with a high number isn't worse than a man with a high number, men and women should be judged the same. Optimally we shouldn't judge at all, we can have preferences without calling all virgins losers and all with experience easy.

 

I totally agree. It's completely ok to have preferences, I just can't stand double standards and hypocrits.

[randomgirl59]

I totally agree. It's completely ok to have preferences, I just can't stand double standards and hypocrits.

 

Exactly. That's what's the most irritating about this discussion, the hypocrisy. Because virgin males are so against the double standards regarding male virginity and sexuality, but when it comes to the double standards regarding female virginity or sexual activity they either a) dont care or b) actually re-enforce the double standard by stating they dont want to be virgins, but they dont want to sleep with a girl who has "mileage" either. Great respect for the opposite sex let alone fellow human being huh? #-o

[LightbulbSun]

Well, I didn't really get interested in girls until I was in my 20's. In high school, I was like, "Meh, I'll date whenever I date."

 

Suddenly I was 23 and freaking out..."OMG, I'm a virgin! People think I'm weird!" This, in turn, made me obsess about losing my virginity, which drove girls away from me, which made me obsess even more...it was a vicious cycle.

 

After reading so many stories from guys who are much older than me, and in the same boat, makes me feel better. However, it makes me sad to think that I might live a life without love. I'm highly romantic, and love listening to love songs and watching sappy movies. The idea that I'll never have a girl of my own to hold in my arms is, well, disconcerting. I can't even imagine the possibility of it. I'd probably die from heartbreak.

 

I realize that life is more than sex and love, however (just going by this forum and friend's experiences), it seems to be all anybody talks about. If they're not talking about their girlfriends/boyfriends, they're talking about their kids, or getting engaged and married. I feel disconnected from people for being an older virgin, because I haven't experienced what they've experienced.

[avman]

Thread closed