Break Up because of no engagement?

[mrshuma]

I know this is silly, but are there are instances when a woman breaks off a relationship of 7 years because the man hasn't proposed to her?

[waveseer]

Yes, it happens and for all the year numbers before and after 7 as well.

[mrshuma]

so its a common thing? Would she tell you that or would it be something else?

[newwave]

Personally, I wouldn't date a guy that long without a proposal so I can see why that would happen. The only exception to me would be someone younger than 25 or so.

[mrshuma]

How do I know if this is the main reason?? I doubt it is, but I don't want to make a mistake maybe I am dreaming??

[lavenderdove]

There is something called the '7 year itch'... Many couples hit the doldrums at around 7 years, where the honeymoon is over and they may get bored or disillusioned. It is a well known milestone when many couples break up or divorce.

 

So the answer is yes, many women will leave if they don't get a proposal, or could be using that as an excuse, and just get a case of the 7 year itch where the relationship is no longer fresh and they decide they want out.

[savignon]

Did your girlfriend break up with you or are you just worried that she will? At a certain point a girl's gotta evaluate where the relationship is going and for how long or if she's going to wait for the next step. (Guys do this too of course, as well as women....if the relationship is a dead end or not working, we get out ...if it's a good relationship and we want marriage and are ready, we look for what's next or evaluate how long we can afford to wait for all parties to be on board)

Just my 2 cents.

[Binoo]

As a woman, I'd probably leave if I had been with someone that long and had no proposal. The relationship would seem to be at a standstill at that point and even if I was with someone I really enjoyed being around I would be skeptical about his true commitment to the relationship and I'd probably just want to move on to someone who's more interested in a relationship that will progress.

[babii doll]

7 years?!?!? i wouldve left by the 3rd or 4th year . thats way too long, i dont blame a woman for leaving if its been that long and no sign of a proposal.

[michaelhopes]

We weren't engaged, we obviously had talked about it many times and always talked about how

we would be together forever, etc. There were many periods when we talked about where we would get married, etc but then there would also be

other periods where she would say things like "I don't know if I ever want to be married, etc, my mom has been divorced 4 times so it scares me"

and things like "I don't want to be 45 and wake up one day and regret it" so when I would hear these things it wouldn't motivate me to run and get a ring

so that is why we weren't engaged. I would tell her, I don't want to get engaged just to get engaged, if I am going to propose it will be to eventually get married.

 

While youre driving yourself crazy with the woulda/coulda/shouldas mull this one over......

What if you did get married/had kids and she left "to go find herself"

You would be in a heap more pain then you are now buddy

Its ok to ask these questions but dont act on any of them until the panic to get back together with her subsides.....perhaps a month from now?

[Jd1983]

If I was dating someone for 7 years, and they still haven't proposed, yes I would break off the relationship.

[jenna-is-here]

Yes. I broke up with my boyfriend b/c we dated 4 years and he didnt propose. I told him because didnt want to walk out on a relationship with a man I loved if I thought there was a chance.

 

I know other woman that do not tell them man. they figure, they dont want to have to ask for it.

[itsallgrand]

I doubt it is just about you not proposing if she was with you for 7 years.

 

It is probably a whole collection of issues to do with the relationship, which even she may not be able to articulate right now.

 

The engagement is just the topper on the cake; she must feel there is no possibility for marriage or for it to last now.

 

What about you? After 7 years with her, you must know whether or not you want to spend your life with her?

 

Or is it that you are content to wait for many more years, going back n forth with her on the issue of marriage?

[mrshuma]

I know thats probably wishful thinking on my part I'm just wondering if she would tell me that was the reason or give other reasons such as wanting space, wanted to try being on her own, etc...

 

She never did mention it, but it was almost 7 years so it has me thinking..

[Sparkly Eyes]

I know thats probably wishful thinking on my part I'm just wondering if she would tell me that was the reason or give other reasons such as wanting space, wanted to try being on her own, etc...

 

She never did mention it, but it was almost 7 years so it has me thinking..

 

Did she ever drop hints that she wants to get married or be more committed? also, how old is she?

[Keyman]

So in this era of mutuality, why does the women have to wait for her man to propose? Why can't women pop the question? If she is unhappy that he hasn't proposed, then has she questioned him about it? And if no, why not?

 

A woman that is worried that after 7 years that because he hasn't proposed that he obviously can't commit to her. 7 years is a fricken long commitment if you ask me.

 

In a sense, it sounds a bit superficial to me. She hasn't had the opportunity of having a rock on her finger and she is not getting her big day...

[mrshuma]

worriedgirl: I really don't think this is the reason I was just wondering if the woman would break up without saying that was the reason, but giving other reasons such as wanting to be on her own, she needs space etc. I am just twisting my mind because I don't know what to do.

 

We obviously had talked about it many times and always talked about how we would be together forever, etc. There were many periods when we talked about where we would get married, etc but then there would also be

other periods where she would say things like "I don't know if I ever want to be married, etc, my mom has been divorced 4 times so it scares me"

and things like "I don't want to be 45 and wake up one day and regret it" so when I would hear these things it wouldn't motivate me to run and get a ring

so that is why we weren't engaged. I would tell her, I don't want to get engaged just to get engaged, if I am going to propose it will be to eventually get married.

 

I'm in Day 2 of NC and this is just so hard for me. I don't know if I should just stick with the NC and wait for her to contact me about the relationship or if I should get on a plane and propose. I think I am trying to make myself feel better I don't really believe she did this because of not being engaged. Sorry for rambling just lost right now.

[mrshuma]

worriedgirl: she is 27 turning 28 later this year

[Sparkly Eyes]

worriedgirl: she is 27 turning 28 later this year

 

Yep, that's what I thought...She got into a serious relationship very soon, didn't have the time to grow up by herself and now she is freaked out that she might have missed so much on things she could experience in her young years. I also wouldn't be shocked if I hear that there is another guy in the picture.

[DN]

If this 27 year old woman breaks up with you in a snit because she didn't get a proposal someone a little more mature might drop a hint in her ear that she has a tongue in her head as well.

[mrshuma]

worriedgirl: I really don't think there is another guy IMO - so you think its not because I haven't proposed right?

[Sparkly Eyes]

worriedgirl: I really don't think there is another guy IMO - so you think its not because I haven't proposed right?

 

No, I don't think that's the reason.

[mrshuma]

DN: I really don't think it is it either - It could very well be that she lost feelings for me as she has been saying for awhile how we are just comfortable and it sometimes feel like were roommates, etc. She broke up because she wanted her space and wanted to live on her own to see if she could do it herself, etc. I guess it could be GIGS. I doubt its because I didn't propose but wanted to see if she would break up for that reason, if its happened before. I would think that she would have said something along those lines once it happened?

[mrshuma]

would asking her put closure on this if she said NO? That way I could really move on. I hate this hoping, I know she broke up with me so that means she doesn't want to be together but before that she was just wanting a break for space, etc. So I don't know if I proposed if that would give me the answer either way instead of waiting and doing NC.

[Sparkly Eyes]

would asking her put closure on this if she said NO? That way I could really move on. I hate this hoping, I know she broke up with me so that means she doesn't want to be together but before that she was just wanting a break for space, etc. So I don't know if I proposed if that would give me the answer either way instead of waiting and doing NC.

 

I see nothing wrong with asking her.