Feeling a little bit neglected/underappreciated..

[lg615]

I have been very good friends with my boyfriend since 6th grade and I've been involved with him romantically for about 6 months. Our relationship has been great, he's the sweetest guy I've ever met and our time together is amazing. We've never had an argument, and if either of us feel upset we talk it out.

 

Lately, however, I have been feeling a little uneasy.

 

First, a little background history:

 

I have a part-time job as a waitress at a restaurant in the city, which means I work most friday and saturday nights, plus 1 night during the week. We are also both in school.

 

I had wanted to take him to meet my Father for a very long time (my parents are divorced) but things never seemed to work out. Finally one week I said to him "when I get back from my trip to New York (which was one week long) we're going to see my dad together the next sunday." he seemed very happy about this. When I got back from the week apart (which was pretty much unbearable for both of us I mentioned it and he said "ohhh, well, we're going to have to go early in the day because I'm golfing with my friends that day." I was a little put off and we didn't end up going because of this, but I put it past me and never really brought it up.

 

next, my sister came home from university with her boyfriend and she suggested the four of us go do something together on tuesday. I told my boyfriend and he said he was working, which was totally understandable since I work so much. When tuesday comes around I find him talking to his friends about golf. I asked him about it and he said he was going golfing as if nothing was wrong. I acted kind of upset but I didn't really say anything and I went with my sister and her boyfriend alone. He brought it up later, saying he was sorry and that maybe he should golf less, and I told him that it was okay.

 

Now I just suggested we hang out this weekend and he agreed. I asked him what his schedule was and he is golfing friday until 8 (I work until 5-11, like always), going fishing with his friends early saturday and then golfing until 7 (I work until 5-11), and on sunday he is golfing until 7 again.

 

On top of all this he golfs at least every other day during the week in the evenings until 8 or 9.

 

This upsets me slightly because it leaves us virtually no time to hang out. I try to act disappointed without actually bringing it up because the last thing I want to do is fight or seem needy. This has only recently become a problem, and it wasn't something I was expecting going into the relationship.

 

When he first got his golf membership I joked about how I might never see him again, and he assured me that I always come first, but now I'm not so sure anymore..

 

Is it wrong for me to feel this way? I just don't know

[Hurting85]

There's nothing wrong in FEELING that way, it's what you do with those feelings.

 

Until you say something to him, he's never going to know that it bothers you so much and nothing is going change. You don't even have to ask him to stop completely. Just say something like, "I'm glad you have time to go hang out with your friends, but it bothers me when our plans get canceled because of golf. I don't mind you going out, but if we've made plans, can we please stick to them?" No, it won't buy you a LOT more time with him, but with any luck he'll stop flaking.

[Distant]

It seems like all he cares about is golf. You should tell him that you are upset about this and was upset when he wouldnt go see your dad with you or your sister. Maybe he will golf a little less and spend some time with you.