#1 Question in the world

[smiley1979]

There's this guy I like and I think he likes me, too. I've only talked to him a couple of times and not for long. When I was at Bible Study, he sat between me and another man. There were other seats he could've sat in but he chose to sit there. Every time I spoke he looked directly at me. He was constantly looking out the window which was past me. There wasn't anything outside, I checked. lol. Whenever someone asks me questions he also manages to ask me questions.

 

Anyway, we both volunteer at the same place every Sunday so I will probably see him this Sunday and I was wondering if and how I should approach him? I don't want to ask him out yet plus I'd prefer if he asked me out if he likes me. I want to be able to talk to him without a group of people around. Whenever I see him we're usually in a group like Bible Study or volunteering.

 

I volunteered Sunday night and when I entered the building he was there so I said "hi" and he said "hi, how are you?" So I responded but then I went into the kitchen because I was too nervous to stay there and think of something to say. But later when I was standing by myself he came up to me and started talking asking questions. This time I talked to him and I tried to give longer answers and I asked him some questions, too. He was standing in my personal space but I didn't mind. Just before he left for a few minutes he touched my arm and said I'll see you in a few minutes, ok.

 

He wasn't at Bible study last week so I emailed him and reminded him about Bible study this week and he thanked me for emailing him and he did show up at Bible study this week. Just before we were leaving he told me he had received my email and I told him I got his email, too. Then we talked for a bit.

 

Some of the people from Bible study told us that there was going to be music at the church the next night and he came. I arrived before him. I was talking to a female friend and when he came in he came and talked to us. We were talking about when we were younger and I said " When I was little" (I'm short). He said "When you were little?" teasing me. Then the three of us went to where the music was. I sat down first and he followed me and sat next to me.

 

We were all sitting down for a while and a bunch of people stood up to worship but I didn't because I wanted to see if he would stand up when I stood up. So I waited a few more minutes for another song before I stood up. When I stood up, he stood up, too. Somehow we managed to stand closer together. I felt his arm brush against me. A few minutes later he tapped me on the shoulder and told me he would be back in a minute.

 

He went to talk to mutual friends. They were accross the room from where I was. I kept looking over where he was. He finally turned around and we both made eye contact for a few seconds. He smiled. He always has a sparkle in his eyes.

 

After we were finished praying, I went and sat with him. Then we were talking to one of our mutual friends and I noticed him checking me out, I think. He was looking at me feet. Then our mutual friend asked him a question and he didn't respond right away. Earlier, I noticed him looking at my hands. This was out of the corner of my eye.

 

So the big Question is, do you think he likes me? I mean, do you think he wants to start a meaningful relationship with me? How can I tell without asking him? Are there any signs? He's kind of shy.

[SongCoyote]

Hi Smiley!

 

Everything you've described sounds like he finds you interesting and attractive. That he keeps seeking you out and apparently enjoying your company and presence would be a good indicator that he likes you.

 

As for whether he wants a "meaningful relationship", there's no way to tell that in advance, and it may be jumping the gun. Such things tend to develop as you get to know someone, so patience and perseverance are your guides there. However, you'll never find out if you don't try, so if you really enjoy his attention and energy then by all means spend more time talking with him.

 

You don't have to be aggressive or ask about anything long-term to start; just be present and friendly and perhaps tell him you've noticed his attention and enjoy it. It sounds like he is approaching things carefully and respectfully, so return that in kind by smiling, standing a little closer, and perhaps saying, "would you like to sit / sing / study together?" That way you can meet him halfway without seeming like you're pushing a particular agenda.

 

From what you've said there's at least potential to find a good friend, and that's a treasure all on its own. If it becomes more, well, there's your gold at the end of the rainbow. Stay happy, don't fret, be compassionate with yourself and with him, and remember that he may well be asking himself (and friends) the same questions you're asking yourself (and this forum).

 

Good fortune to you both, and I hope it works out however is best for you.

 

Light and laughter,

SongCoyote

[Tatertot]

Smiley, this sounds like a great start to a wonderful relationship (be it only friends or more than friends). I suggest that you don't rush things, enjoy all the emotions you are having right now... it will make it so much sweeter in the end, when it all works out.

 

I have had a couple of relationships that start out much the same way, and really it's half the fun trying to discover if he likes you. I know what you mean about you wanting HIM to make the first move... it may sound old fashioned, but it's definitely more meaningful that way. Sometimes you just want a man to be a man gosh darnit (and this is coming from someone with a Women's Studies degree.. lol!)

 

So you can do a bit of your own innocent flirting to try to get him to make the first move. You said he brushes against your arm when you are standing side by side, so why don't you do the same? Or if you are sitting together just position yourself so that your arms or legs are touching. Since you volunteer at the same place, find some reason to be doing the same thing he is doing (setting tables or chopping veggies or whatever it happens to be...). Talk to him. Don't avoid him. But most of all stay true to yourself and have FUN! He sounds like an awesome guy and you sound like an awesome girl so I hope everything works out.

 

Post back here and let us know!

[smiley1979]

So, I emailed him and asked him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee Saturday and he replied with Sorry I am working until Wednesday but maybe some other time and He asked me how I was doing and if I liked the music the other night and he said he would see me at the next Bible study. Please help. I think this means he likes me but still need advice to know if I'm reading this right.

[smiley1979]

So, I emailed him and asked him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee Saturday and he replied with Sorry I am working until Wednesday but maybe some other time and He asked me how I was doing and if I liked the music the other night and he said he would see me at the next Bible study. Please help. I think this means he likes me but still need advice to know if I'm reading this right.

[Anyway]

So, I emailed him and asked him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee Saturday and he replied with Sorry I am working until Wednesday but maybe some other time and He asked me how I was doing and if I liked the music the other night and he said he would see me at the next Bible study. Please help. I think this means he likes me but still need advice to know if I'm reading this right.

First of all, I would advice to talk to him in person or at least on phone when trying to set up a date. Most of communication is through tone of voice and body language. In my opinion it's almost impossible to tell if he's into you by reading this email.