confusedbella3 Posted May 27, 2010 Share Posted May 27, 2010 was with my ex for 5 years and we have been split up for 3 months. At first when I told him I wanted to split up (but he drove me to it by his behaviour so I feel like a dumpee) he said he didnt want to talk again, goodbye etc. this lasted 5 weeks, him doing complete NC. Then I recieved an I am sorry type email, to which I responded thanks. then nothing for a week or so.... the last few weeks he has initiated contact quite a bit. Some nights he sent me two emails in a row for example. Sometimes I responded quickly (but briefly) sometimes I didnt respond. they are just about random lighthearted things, not about us. As we were getting on better, a few days ago I sent him an email ... he hasnt responded. I hate when its me that is ignored. As soon as he responds I feel better. This is a bit silly I know. i am thinking the next time he is in touch I wont respond. I want to not appear too available and friendly because its a bit too soon. I made the mistake of responding too much to his light hearted emails. I should have not responded to all of them , to keep some mystery right? guys like that right? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 27, 2010 Share Posted May 27, 2010 What exactly do you want to come out of this? If you broke up with him because he wasn't treating you right then what good is keeping mysterious. He made one "I am sorry" email with no specifics. The rest of the emails are lame contact. If he knows why you broke up with him...because he wasn't treating you right, then he has to do more than just lame contact. Right now it is just a bunch of game playing. You need to get yourself out of that game. Stop with the contact altogether because you will be right back to where you started from except not in a relationship. If he wants to be with you then he will have to address the real issues in the relationship which broke you two apart. Link to comment
confusedbella3 Posted May 27, 2010 Author Share Posted May 27, 2010 thanks that was a very good response Link to comment
confusedbella3 Posted May 27, 2010 Author Share Posted May 27, 2010 He just sent me a quick email about a link hed said hed share with me. I should start doing NC right? I should ignore this this time?? Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 27, 2010 Share Posted May 27, 2010 When you broke up with him, did you explain to him why you were breaking up with him? Link to comment
confusedbella3 Posted May 27, 2010 Author Share Posted May 27, 2010 yes he knew for sure how much he was taking me for granted and not treating me well. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 27, 2010 Share Posted May 27, 2010 Given that you emailed him as well you are sending mixed messages. You need to figure out what you want out of this contact. Do you want to be his friend, are you hoping he will treat you better and then you can fall back into the relationship? If you don't want to be his friend and you don't want a relationship as it was before then you need time in NC to get over this. However, since there has now been willing communication on your side perhaps you should call him and talk to him, reiterate why you broke up with him and that you think being in communication with him is not helping you heal from the breakup so you need to cut off contact with him. Link to comment
jbrooklyn Posted May 27, 2010 Share Posted May 27, 2010 What exactly do you want to come out of this? If you broke up with him because he wasn't treating you right then what good is keeping mysterious. He made one "I am sorry" email with no specifics. The rest of the emails are lame contact. If he knows why you broke up with him...because he wasn't treating you right, then he has to do more than just lame contact. Right now it is just a bunch of game playing. You need to get yourself out of that game. Stop with the contact altogether because you will be right back to where you started from except not in a relationship. If he wants to be with you then he will have to address the real issues in the relationship which broke you two apart. This is good advice. My ex emailed me a couple days ago and I didnt respond. I dont want to play games and get sucked in to his world, when he wants to contact me, when he dont want to contact me....blah blah blah. The email was lame anyway. I just looked at it and thought wow. Like I said, his actions turn me into a stronger woman. Not bitter but much stronger. Link to comment
confusedbella3 Posted June 6, 2010 Author Share Posted June 6, 2010 exactly its like being in the relationship without being in a relationship Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.