Total lack of confidence and urge to quit

[holdfasthope]

So a friend recently asked me to join his rec leauge soccer team. Althought it's coed and recreational, i would still consider it competitive. I hadn't played in many years, so I expected to be rusty.

 

The problem is this: I've been downright bad. I'm trying to be fair to myself considering how long it's been, but I hate feeling like the worst player on the team. Nobody has really said anything apart from a few quips here and there, but I find myself ruminating prior to games, and lookin forward to when the game is over.

 

Back in the day, I was never that good, but I always felt competitive. Now it feels like if I can't be one of the better players out there (fat chance), I don't want to play at all. Am I being too self critical? Too perfectionist?

[Stan1009]

There is no such thing as being too perfectionist, imo. But no you're not being perfectionist if you're only comfortable doing something you're already very good at (Nothing wrong with it tho). but it shows a lack of confidence and will power to improve.

If you want to be one of the better players, then put the efforts into it. If you don't think it's worth the efforts, then just accept it that you're not one of the better players and enjoy playing for what it is : just a recreational activity.

 

Train harder, get better. Quitting is the easy way out.

[meteorstrike]

have you try goal keeping?

[holdfasthope]

It makes sense that people tend to enjoy things they're good at. The problem here is that I can't seem to enjoy things UNLESS I am good at them. I end up getting angry at myself and getting hung up on them, totally ignoring other successes in my life.

[WomanWriter]

I am exactly the same way. Being bad at something just rubs in how much effort I am going to have to exert to meet the minimum requirements.

 

In teacher's education (I'm a teacher), we learned about motivational levels:

 

1. independent level--person can learn the skill on their own with ease

 

2. instructional level--person may need help to learn the skill, but it is within his/her reach. This is sometimes referrred to the "zone of proximal development."

 

3. frustration level--person is completely baffled and unable to make much improvement because it is far too hard.

 

The greatest learning of a skill occurs at the instructional level. If you were OK at soccer, your ability to improve (with help) would be optimal. If you were already a champion, you wouldn't have much to work towards. But the fact that you are BAD is extremely unmotivating!

 

If you really feel you are that bad at soccer, it is no wonder you want to quit. Who likes doing something that feels unrewarding and hopeless?

 

I recommend that you take up something a little easier to build up your confidence. Take a different sport, for example. Then when you build up some important skills (hand-eye coordination, motor skills, etc.), it will bring you to the instructional level where you will be more in shape to play soccer. You may not be the best, but won't be the worst because your confidence will be higher from doing something a little easier.

 

This is just what I learned from my study of psychology and education. I, personally, struggle with the discipline aspect of teaching. If students are being rowdy and obnoxious, it's completely frustrating to me. But if they are just slightly off-task, I can work on motivating them.

 

I really don't know how you can motivate yourself to do something completely unrewarding for a long time if you don't have to...unless maybe you offer yourself a nice vacation abroad for completing the soccer course. : o)