I want more sex/passion

[jeffacakes]

My boyfriend and I have been together 7 months now and for the first few weeks to a month of relationship our sex life was fine and we were passionate about each other. But after that things started to go down hill but i was understanding because he has a stressful time so i tried to be supportive, and he told me to "bear with him" for a bit. But the thing is several months on and nothings changed, i'm trying my hardest to be supportive and understanding but i'm starting to feel very frustrated. I don't want to pressure him either but it feels a bit like he's not doing anything to help the situation. I assumed this phase would just pass but it keeps going on and he always has a reason for not having sex or even being slightly passionate towards me - headache/stomach ache/tired/hurting legs/stress/feeling too hot. I tried to be sympathetic because maybe he is just ill at these times but i've suggested he go to the doctors and he simply ssays "nah i'll survive". I tried as nicely in a tactful way if we could try again to be more passionate and try and have more sex again. He said he'd try but still no change. What else can i do?

[a_lifters_life]

Have you even attempted to get him in the mood?

 

My g/f complains about this every so often, but 3/4 of the time she just expects it to stand up right away.

 

Men and women alike can be stressed and this kills sex drive. That's why the extra "spark" to attempt to get him in the mood may be all you need.

[jeffacakes]

Have you even attempted to get him in the mood?

 

My g/f complains about this every so often, but 3/4 of the time she just expects it to stand up right away.

 

Men and women alike can be stressed and this kills sex drive. That's why the extra "spark" to attempt to get him in the mood may be all you need.

 

Yes believe me i really have lmao. But when i do alot of the time he just tells me "he's not in mood". I've tried suggesting that maybe i could get him in the mood, i've stressed it might even help things like stress but he just seems to shrugs it off.

[fLuiD]

Is everything else OK in the relationship? Decreased sex drive can sometimes signal something else is wrong in the relationship.

[sidehop]

What is the source of his stress if you don't mind me asking?

[jeffacakes]

Is everything else OK in the relationship? Decreased sex drive can sometimes signal something else is wrong in the relationship.

 

yes everything else in the relationship is good. We have a good time and get well and we never argue.

[jeffacakes]

What is the source of his stress if you don't mind me asking?

 

It is many things - he has little money, he works on the family business which is a burger van and they struggle sometimes with money and lack of customers, he doesn't get on well with his sister because she doesn't do anything to get a job or help the family, he has arguements with his dad sometimes because he gets frustrated with the sister. It's different stuff every week. But he's usually ok after i've listened to him and cheered him up.

[sidehop]

Money and family stress can cause a great impact on sex life. And I'm sure you're being very understanding. Is the job an option where he can find something new that would pay more or is he stuck because it's a family owned business?

[jeffacakes]

Money and family stress can cause a great impact on sex life. And I'm sure you're being very understanding. Is the job an option where he can find something new that would pay more or is he stuck because it's a family owned business?

 

He's currently looking and I'm also looking for a job - hopefully when one of us gets a job then the money problems will be solved a bit more.

[mca1975]

Well I think you need to sit down and discuss, openly and honestly, tell him this is hurting your feelings and that you would like something done about it and some effort made. Its not fair for you to go on like this being unhappy and unfulfilled. He has to make some effort, otherwise you may have to walk if he's not prepared to at least pull his finger out (excuse the pun).

 

No joke, I just think that a lot of people get complacent in a relationship and don't give and only take. Maybe if he thought you were gone, then he would do something about it. he doesn't mind leaning on you for support when he is feeling stressed, remember that, but what about what you need? Think about it.

[Juxtapoz]

you should give him a strip tease. cook for him naked. don't let him have dessert until he's begging for it. that might help.