We all are weak

[FootofGod]

God, I want to break NC so bad. I have been pretty strong recently, I am doing exactly what I need to do and being genuinely happy and feeling fulfilled... but I want to break no contact. I am weak. We all are weak.

 

I don't want to write her a love note, I don't want to goad her into leaving the guy she left me for, I defriended her and removed all temptations... but then I saw my own facebook anonymous confession box. I just wanted to say "you are still my favorite person in the world," but I know I can't. She'd know, I'd be breaking no contact, I'd be going backwards. She's already broken NC a few times - I just need to hold on! At least make a full month, man, what's wrong with me?

 

I can't wait until the day that the right time comes to talk. Well, actually I can. I will. Until then, I'll hold my ground, vent here, and work out whenever the urge tries to overcome me... man, I'm gonna be friggin' ripped by the end of the summer! Maybe, on top of everything else, my improved health will give me an edge?

 

Love you guys, thanks for reading!

[TheJerseyKid]

I'm with you man, day 20 of NC here (had 5 days NC, she broke it, but I responded. then had 10 days, she broke it, but I responded 6 days later. Another week of NC, I broke it asking for something back, and now here we are). It's honestly been easy for me, but for some reason tonight the urge I have to text her is INCREDIBLE. I really really really want to ask her to meet up for coffee or something in the coming weeks, but I know its probably better if I don't. I just posted a topic in this section if you are interested at all in my situation FoG.

[hater13]

I'm on my 7th week of NC (i had to check) and I have no urge to contact my ex, I still have his number on my phone and I would never text or call. He is still on my msn list (he didn't block me) and I never feel the urge to message him no matter how many times he convienently logs in and out while i'm online.

 

If anything I'd want to write him and angry email LOL but I will never do that. He will get what is coming..and most likely that will be regret, deep deep regret.

 

Everytime my phone vibrates I don't jump and think it's him, because I really don't care.

 

If he wants to contact me he can, I can't say I've lost all feelings for him, I do still love him in a sense. But I would never initiate contact with him especially after the way he treated me immediately after the break up, and the many nonsense things he did indirectly while I was in early NC.

[TheJerseyKid]

That's whats killing me about my situation. We really ended so amicabily, without any major issue, and she's made it pretty clear that the lines of communication between us are open, and us having something down the road is not completely out of the questions. It's just all the nothing in between right now that's tough.

[hater13]

That's whats killing me about my situation. We really ended so amicabily, without any major issue, and she's made it pretty clear that the lines of communication between us are open, and us having something down the road is not completely out of the questions. It's just all the nothing in between right now that's tough.

 

I was not given a reason for the break up actually. We'd just been arguing a bit before the break up, and eventually he ended it (I had tried to earlier but of course I'm too nice/weak/considerate of his feelings).

 

We communicated a week after the break up, but it was all very odd, like we were trying to show each other how truly "happy" we were to be apart. Eventually I just got tired of it and told him I could no longer be friends with him.

 

In fact, my ex begged me everytime I tried to start no contact with him, I even broke no contact a few weeks ago and he replied normally, though it was awkward.

 

It's just a matter of will power. Please tell your ex she should not contact you unless she wishes to reconcile.

[TheJerseyKid]

That's the thing, I don't believe in ultimatums. And she doesn't know the "new" me at all. She is not aware of the things I do now on a day-to-day basis, or the improvments I've made in my life. Hell, its entirely possible I could go out on a "date" with her, and see more of what I didn't like in her, and I myself could see that this is not what I want. So I don't think "Only contact me if you want to get back together" is going to work. If we were to go back out, it would be a NEW relationship, built from square one. So I feel like its unreasonable for someone to have that kind of pressure (forced into talking about reconciling) to be the only reason to contact me. Besides, she really hasn't been contacting me much at all so it's not as if shes sending mixed signals.

[FootofGod]

Ultimatums are the ultimate push, and they usually lead to the ultimate pull. She knows where my number is, she knows where my door is, and when her crush fizzles, I know she won't be able to stand it. She still contacts her crappy exes now and again looking for closure, and the only closure that I gave her was absolute forgiveness and release.

 

I know this girl, she will come to her senses, and I'll find the right words at the right time. Or we'll both be happy apart. It's so win-win, that's my favorite part

[TheJerseyKid]

Ultimatums are the ultimate push, and they usually lead to the ultimate pull. She knows where my number is, she knows where my door is, and when her crush fizzles, I know she won't be able to stand it. She still contacts her crappy exes now and again looking for closure, and the only closure that I gave her was absolute forgiveness and release.

 

I know this girl, she will come to her senses, and I'll find the right words at the right time. Or we'll both be happy apart. It's so win-win, that's my favorite part

 

So what exactly are you saying in regards to my situation. How would you approach it? P.S. Please read my topic a few topics down, I like your advice thus far!

[FootofGod]

God, I'm such an idoit. I glanced at her unfriended facebook for whatever stupid reason because she was on my mind and noticed one of my quotes was deleted from her "favorite quotes section." Ow, my pride. It's nothing I can't bare and I totally asked for it. But ow, my pride

[AutumnBorn]

It's OK, FoG.

 

She did it because:

 

1. She wanted to needle you, just in case you were checking her space;

2. She felt she had to because of the new guy;

3. Someone asked her why it was still there, which made her ask herself why;

4. It upsets her to see it.

 

Pick one. You won't know why until you two are making strides toward reconnecting, so pick the one you like best.

 

You're doing great at NC. Keep it up and stay away from evil Facebook.

 

---

 

I wish I could go NC, but it's NIC for me. Two children, the house. I'm envious of those who can go NC.

[FootofGod]

Nah, I'm not picking one. I don't need a reason (but I do know it's not 1). It's irrelevant and it's my fault anyway. It's also such a non-issue. I've been strong the last week that letting such a small thing catch me off-guard is an insult to myself. I just wrote a journal entry about it, took a shower, and remembered who I was and where I am.

[gigginstick]

Its not being weak brosephs, its called loving them unconditionally, let them go, and be patient. Im 11days NC and Im pretty weaksauce right now as well, its killin me, but so was holding false hope. Gotta fight the fear and stay strong fellers. I need to practice what I preach.