Is He Rebounding?

[reflecting]

We broke up a month ago and he thinks he's in love with someone new. Just met her physically one month ago - began talking to her two months ago. I found out and we parted ways. We'd been together for two years.

 

During this month we've been broken up he's contacted me and that didn't go so well. And also at one point we had this thing going on where if he was thinking of me he'd change his fb photo to one I took somewhere / someplace in time that is special to us both.

 

We're no longer FB friends but I've the email I received and well that icon changed. I felt no need to block as I've had no desire to end my NC at the moment. He's still seeing the new girl.

 

I don't get it. He made the decision to be with her, he knows exactly HOW I feel on the situation but he's trying to play with my heart strings? He knows that I will probably see the photo. I know he misses me and our friendship but I feel he blew that when he wasn't truthful. I don't/can't condone cheating/lying.

 

Anyways unfortunately a mutual friend spilled the beans and told me that it seemed like he was 'replacing' her with me doing everything we used to online and off. That the new woman all ready posted a intimate photo of them on her page and tagged it and that she is "claiming" him all over his page. Only after one month and two meetings with one another (they live in different states). I told that mutual friend not to give me any more information I didn't want to/need to know. But the insight was nice. He's in his thirties btw.

 

So do you think this is a rebound? I think so.

 

Began the courtship before we were done (I think he was planning on having his cake and eating it too). Immediately jumped to be with her one week after we split. Following week contacted me (I don't think their first meeting was the greatest) but I wasn't having it too soon, still hurt. Went back to her and within two weeks suddenly they're both professing strong feelings for one another. But... he's not removed any of my photos, nor comments that a girlfriend would make to her boyfriend, and has put up the same photo that last time lured me out of NC.

 

Don't worry folks. Right now. I'm still in it and will remain in it for awhile. I'm just curious about what others think about it.

[ToF]

Well judging from your last sentence, I doubt you'll listen to me. But I think you're dedicating wayyyyy too much thought to your ex and his actions. You need to move on. You said you don't tolerate cheating, so drop him totally. If you'd like advice on how to do that, I can give that to you

[TheJerseyKid]

Sounds like a classic rebound scenario to me. Start moving on, and I'll bet you anything once you've TRULY moved on, he will (attempt) to come back into the picture.

[savignon]

I think it would be torturous to look at his FB/email pics/etc. Why do that to yourself? If and when he's available again, he'll get in touch. He may be playing with your heart strings, but not without an invite. There's a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that's something like, "People can only treat you badly with your permission". If you don't tolerate those qualities in a boyfriend, why would you accept a friend like that?

[reflecting]

TwistOfate08 I don't think I said that... I'm looking but I don't see it. Nope I don't tolerate cheating that's why we broke up it was emotional not physical but to me it's just as bad but worse was the lying to me once the truth was known that was the problem. Still... the heart wants what the heart wants. Thanks for your response though. And no, I don't need lessons in moving on. I'm good there ;-). However this is the getting back together forum and yes there is a part of me that still wants him. I just know that right now, it's not a possibility. Trust me I'm not sitting around waiting for him. Getting on with my life defn! And enjoying it. I feel pretty level headed mostly but... I'm just curious.

 

savignon I don't look at his FB photos emails pics. No no no! I deleted him immediately when we first broke up. You've misread I think? Though there are a few tagged photos I forgot to untag. Over two years there were many many photos taken together and posted. In my inbox there is a recent email (now deleted) that he sent a couple weeks ago. When I went in to check my mail today I noticed the photo change. But I've not been on his page at all it's private. The only reason I know what I do is that a mutual friend - his friend first now my friend - casually mentioned it to me as she was shocked. I... didn't stop her. I'll admit I was a bit curious. No one really knew that we officially broke up. But suddenly this new person just started posting things and people wonder and have asked. It didnt kill me to know, I just wish he had been honest.

 

Aside from that like I mentioned the heart wants what the heart wants, it may not be the right route, but you never know, you guys know and understand that. There are many here in the same situation hoping for reconciliation with their exes.

 

But once again Im not waiting around for him. I'm healing and doing quite well with NC - even though oddly enough, he texted me today and is current in chat waiting for me to pop online (sent a couple of hello messages I've not responded to I'm invisible and will stay there. He can send me a email.). My view on things is as long as he is with the other woman... there can be no us. Friendship or otherwise. Besides, it's too soon. It's only been a month. Some major healing needs to go on for the both of us. So I remain silent for now.

 

I do however wonder if this is a rebound from my description.

 

TheJerseyKid I kind of thought so. Moving on in progress.