Worried about something I said

[CarnelianButterfly]

Today my boyfriend and I had a bad moment, it was my fault for not thinking about what I was saying before I said it.

 

Last night we were at his friends' place and one of the guys sent me a text from my BF's phone saying "I'm breaking up with you. I crave penis for my ...." you get the idea, it was a crass joke message going on about how gay my BF was. It only showed up on my text alert as "I'm breaking up with you". Our phones have a horrible delay between send/receive times, so I was momentarily freaked that he had sent this message earlier and I was just now getting it as I was sitting right next to him. I then read the rest of the message and my expression prompted a general "what's wrong" from the group. I read the message out loud, which got a lot of laughs and my BF said that his friend deserved props for the joke.

 

Today at lunch we were talking about the same friend when I went on to quote the message "I'm breaking up with you..." I didn't even think about it, I was just quoting the message, I hadn't prefaced the statement as we were talking about this person already. All I got out was the "I'm breaking up with you" and my BF looked horrified. I immediately felt stupid and equally horrified at the same time. I quickly said it was the text last night, the joke, and apologized. He looked so upset. I feel so bad, I can't believe how big an idiot I was. He laughed it off and things went on, but I'm still so worried about it. I know I should probably drop it, but I still don't know what to do otherwise. I won't mention it, but I'm concerned that I've done some serious damage.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If your boyfriend thinks that is serious damage and yet what his friends did was funny then he sure has a double standard. Honestly, I think that joke his friends pulled was in very poor taste and he should have been upset that they did something like that to you. I wouldn't worry about what you said because that was simply a miscommunication, not a sick joke.

[JusticeLaw9]

I think you just shell-shocked him, basically. But I don't know what he freaked out over especially since he thought the joke was funny the night before.

[Hurting85]

If there was a joke along those lines prior too, I highly doubt you've done damage. You could just bring it up again and make sure he knows how you feel about the relationship, ie NOT planning on leaving it.

[TechResQ]

I agree, I think he was just freaked out for a second. If he laughed it off, I wouldn't worry too much about it, but if it is really bothering you, you could mention it briefly and just say, sorry it come out sounding bad and remind him you were simply reading what the text message said.

 

I'm sure he understands.

[DN]

Let it go. This will only be a big deal if you make it so.

[annie24]

ugh, his friends sound like morons.

 

hopefully his moment of shock has sunk in and now he sees it isn't such a funny joke when he is on the receiving end of it. i don't think you've done damage.

 

i thought these jokes weren't funny since we were 14.

[geekgirl4]

Sounds like a stupid joke. I think you both need to talk about letting it go and making sure his friends don't play with his phone like that.

[CarnelianButterfly]

It was a pretty immature joke, but honestly, I was sort of happy to see the guy who played the joke doing something. He's had a few rough days and has been pretty reclusive. His sense of humor is weird, but under it he's not a bad guy.