Bumped into the ex at work...interesting!

[paulod]

Ran into my ex at work a couple of days ago, was really weird as we bumped into each other on “Our Corner” (it’s where we always used to chat when we were at work) and it’s on the first floor (where I work….she works on the ninth!)

 

So she greets me with a nice big smile and the funny thing is, we’ve not seen or spoke to each other (apart from a 10min work phone call last month) in two months and it felt like we’d only chatted the other day?? We were totally at ease with each other (at least I was and she seemed relaxed and open….all good, right?)

 

She looks tired and a bit stressed still, said that she’s been ill again (we both have, looks like we were ill at the same time?? How bizarre lol!!)

Had a good conversation with her, laughed and joked about stuff again, catching up on what’s been going on with us, I got the impression she was fishing a bit, seeing what I was up to, not sure??

Did say I was going to a gig in London (she lives in London) to which she kinda snapped back “Just be careful when you go there, mind your drinks, they’ll get spiked you know, I know what it’s like there..” etc (okay calm down??…I’m not 12 years old!!) and a festival in August to which I got “ Oh is that to see those weird bands you like..” ??

 

She asked me about things to see and do in Barcelona as I’ve been and she wants to go to visit family (why ask me?? She’s the Latina! Some of her family live in Spain, they’ll know..)

 

spoke about her dog and training

 

had a look at each other's new tattoos (even got to touch her arm! so she is still very comfortable with me by the looks of things)

 

spoke about money (or lack of it on both our parts lol) and she mentioned that she wants to save again for a car as she won't be moving out of her mum and dad's place for a few more years (why tell me that??)

 

 

 

I didn’t give too much away, just snippits of info, I was more guarded than she was, she gave away more than I did

 

Commented on how nice my jeans were on me (thank you very much indeed!!)

 

She said something that did get me thinking maybe she’s starting to put all the bitterness behind her, there’s a new horror movie (sequel) coming out soon, we watched the first one at the flat I was renting in a rough part of London, this is where pretty much a lot of our problems started, and she hated being/going there, I can’t remember her ever speaking about the time in that flat, or if she did it wouldn’t have been anything nice..

 

She said something like “ Hey there’s a sequel to that film “x” that we watched in the flat at x, when WE were living there (was more like me living there with her popping over some days lol) do you remember the time after we watched it and the lightbulb exploded and then disappeared…??(it actually did!) it freaked us out eh…I thought there were monsters in the attic (she did…made me laugh) and that the flat was haunted” . I found it really odd she’d say anything about that place, she hated it!

In all we chatted for about 40mins! Probably the longest we’ve spoken since Christmas (before we split up)

 

 

Spoke to some of my friends about us meeting, she’s been speaking to a couple of my mates at work, which really is surprising as she doesn’t trust one of them?? And always thought he had a big mouth…hmmmm???

Both guys have the same opinion that she seems to be “Too happy” when she was chatting to them “ life is soooo wonderful these days, job is great, I am great etc “ they both thought that she needed to calm down a bit, and she also dropped in that she was going to Vegas with her friends (Vegas was our holiday destination, been going last few years, and only went last October for my birthday) probably knowing full well that it would get back to me and I’d react in some way (I haven’t)

 

So guys, any ideas??? I think maybe NC/giving her the space she needs and time apart could be working…what do you think?? Or am I just reading it all wrong (probably knowing me lol) some of my girl mates think the signs could be looking good for the future?? Maybe she’s starting to see past the arguing, the bitterness, maybe she’s remembering the good times we had?? Maybe she’s missing me??

As for me…well I know what I would like to happen, if it does then great, if not then hey life is still good! And she wasn’t the one I guess..

Back to NC from me till the next time lol

 

And she's still got my bloody bag with her stuff in it, and those photo's I want!!! it's been 3.5 months lol!!

 

Sorry it’s a bit long, thanks for reading..

 

Comments/opinions much appreciated

[fLuiD]

Its great that you had this conversation, but boy would it have been better if you acted in a hurry and just left her stuck with the desire to want to tell you these things.

[TSandullo]

As for me…well I know what I would like to happen, if it does then great, if not then hey life is still good! And she wasn’t the one I guess..

Back to NC from me till the next time lol

 

Hey there Paulod

 

Nice job keeping it cool and friendly, I can tell you that.

 

I am in agreement with fLuiD about leaving earlier. I mean, 40 mins is an awful long time and a bit of a tension killer. Not that you are trying to play games or anything, but right now, you simply can not come accross as too available.

 

Other than that, well done with handling it well.

 

Now, about her actions/words, it is too early to tell from what you've written.

 

You mentioned that she was comfortable about you touching her, thats cool, though might not mean anything.

A month ago, my ex and I were actually drawing on each other. But no recon has come of it see?

Plus today she runs her hand over my back, fingertips, slowly......and that could mean absolutely nothing. I don't know and don't care.

 

It is possible that she has put the negative aspects of your then relationship behind you, but that might not mean that she wants to be with you again.

 

Just continue doing the good stuff and see what happens in time.

 

TC and all the best

 

TS

[jellysandwich]

^^ Agreed. You want to give her a good but small taste.

 

Also, I think you're over analyzing too much. Go with flow

[paulod]

Yeah damn!!! just got caught up chatting with her,we could always just chat for hrs...and before I knew it, time had passed! grrrr mad at myself a bit now, it's something that I'd always said I'd do if we met up, short and sweet! I managed it on the phone with her last time

 

I think she can see the change in me, I'm more chilled, and calm now,that person I became has been left way behind, most people that know me can tell I've changed for the better (getting back to the old me, with improvements I may add!!) it was her that kept the conversation flowing lol!

 

I'm at the stage where I'll just see what happens,go with the flow time, hey life is getting good again and I'm enjoying the single life (never thought I'd say that a few months ago I can tell you) Hey I'm in no rush, taking it easy

Yeah need to stop over analyzing things as well

 

Cheers guys

[stu1973]

Sounds great Paulod,

 

Good to hear some positivity on here! I'm going to go against the grain a wee bit here and say I think the fact you chatted effortlessly for that length of time is a good thing. I think sometimes you have to push all the psychology to one side, and just look at it the way it is. Two people who once were close, having a friendly conversation together, and thoroughly enjoying each others company with no awkardness. How can you go wrong with that. She's hardly going to walk away from your meeting thinking "he's too available because we spoke for 40 mins". Is she?

 

Mate, all I can see in this is positives, so don't beat yourself up about any aspect of it at all. In my opinion of course!

[fLuiD]

If you see yourself in a situation where your corner chat starts going past a few minutes, propose meeting later (after work or another day) for a bite to eat or something casual.

[paulod]

Thanks guys,

Yeah considering we'd argued constantly since mid Dec,split in Feb and pretty much had no contact since mid March we kind of effortlessly just enjoyed hanging out for a bit...no awkwardness whatsoever?? but then we've always enjoyed each other's company (until we both became way to stressed out with things) it's got to be all positive eh??

If it wasn't for the fact that it was lunchtime and we both had to get back our desks then I reckon we'd have been chatting there for a lot longer! was really nice to be honest, but am not niave to think it anything more than just a friendly chat between two people who used to be very close.I'm not chasing her, I think she may realise that she is no longer my concern, I've got my own life to deal with, not done healing myself yet! and that's my priority, and to be honest, being single again is fun!!

 

Maybe I'll ask her out for something to eat or a coffee next time we meet for a catch up, see how it goes, what you reckon?? but I think she's scared of getting close with me again..