a_lifters_life Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Just a question in my head..... Why do people cheat? Do they do it because their bored of the other person? Why dont people just end it if their being treated that bad? (I know its easier said than done) Anyone? Share your experiences cheater's and cheatee's(??) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mightyreal Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 i would never cheat on a partner. i would respect them to much to do that and i would end it if there was the slightest chance i was interested in someone else. i guess people cheat because they want sex with someone else at the end of the day. they're unfaithful and can't be true to one person. i think they need to end a relationship to save the heartbreak of their s.o. than do the dirty on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SocialStigma Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 I've never cheated or been cheated on. But I think there are many, many different situations that lead to someone cheating. Sometimes it's a drunken moment when their SO isn't there, sometimes it's because their SO isn't giving them the attention they need, sometimes it's because they like the thrill of being able to pull it off, sometimes it's to hurt their SO as revenge, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sanesoul Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 There are a variety of different reasons (lame excuses?). My story (as a reformed cheater) is different than the cheater next to me. I was in a bad place. A pit, so to speak. I was very vulnerable, and was on some heavy meds. I was starting to resent my husband for a number of things. I let my morals fly out the window for a time and made some very bad decisions. I have since changed who I am/was as a person, but I will always look at those as some of the darkest days of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mightyreal Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 i don't really buy that excuse that the s.o. was 'drunk' when it happened. they would still be in a stable frame of mind to say no. if they were paraletic then they couldn't physically have sex with someone else. the 'drunk' excuse is just an excuse to try and get away with it and put the blame on something else. when realistically they knew what they were doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_lifters_life Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 There are a variety of different reasons (lame excuses?). My story (as a reformed cheater) is different than the cheater next to me. I was in a bad place. A pit, so to speak. I was very vulnerable, and was on some heavy meds. I was starting to resent my husband for a number of things. I let my morals fly out the window for a time and made some very bad decisions. I have since changed who I am/was as a person, but I will always look at those as some of the darkest days of my life. Thank you for your honesty and sharing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fLuiD Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Cheating is the act of doing anything (physically, mentally, emotionally) that is not healthy for a relationship. Keyword being relationship. It is only considered cheating if the act is done while in another relationship. So it really boils down to the cheater not ending their relationship, before involving themselves with another person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 greed...selfish...no excuses in my books...but my ex said i changed and i became cold hearted...what i did was i stopped lettin her control me and changed..and she didnt like it...so instead of giving me up...she kept me and had a little side person....like i said she was selfish...she wasnt happy but yet too scared to move on.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellandroader Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Drunkenness is a poor excuse. I heard someone say too that they had to see what it felt like to kiss someone else. Others have said that so and so was mean to them - but then that depends on the cheaters definition of "mean". If abuse is involved, maybe I could understand them falling for somebody new but if it is a case of not agreeing with them or standing up for yourself, then there is no excuse. The bottom line is that cheating involves someone with a fragile ego, unwilling to admit they are unhappy or that they don't have the stones to end a relationship so they will destroy it instead and most likely, follow up with some poor excuse as to why. Others do it out of revenge for something. I have even heard of instances where a relationship is too "perfect" and the lack of drama is misunderstood for a lack of passion, hence some drama is created. Also, some are just not mature enough to look at their lot and be happy, and they have to have more. It may be down to feeling desired or wanted, or just the thrill of getting away with something. A lot of cheaters like that solid partner who they can depend on for the "boring" things and comfort, then a bit of rough just to keep things exciting whilst in all of this, ensuring that they don't end up alone. Quite sad really. I applaud the poster above who admitted to their "dark days", because if you can admit to something like that, chances are you can fix things and have a healthier emotional state. Some just carry on through their lives in denial and do absolutely nothing to change things (and hurt others in the process). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 you sure have a lot of strange threads lately lifter. i remember back when you first started dating your gf and she treated you like crap. are you finally realizing you should be single and maybe meet someone else? just a vibe i've been getting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_lifters_life Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 you sure have a lot of strange threads lately lifter. i remember back when you first started dating your gf and she treated you like crap. are you finally realizing you should be single and maybe meet someone else? just a vibe i've been getting. Strange threads? How is that? Lol, def not going to be single, stuff is "for the most part" a lot better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenna-is-here Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 I think it can happen for lots of different reasons. Just google "why men cheat" or "why women cheat"...are there are some differences of why each sex does cheats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeen Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 The inability of both partners to give there partner the things they want or need out of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermes Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 This from the Mayo Clinic link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BriarRose Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 I think they no longer love their partner. I've never known someone truly in love to cheat. I'm sure I will get a lot of flack for this.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermes Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Another one link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hexaemeron Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Here's my answer to this question: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missthinkpink Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 I cheated on my first ever real boyfriend a few years ago. I met him at the same time as another guy (who had had a girlfriend about a year and a half) and we were together about 2 months before I cheated on him with this ither guy (just kissing and dates). He didn't seem to care about our relationship and would never put in any effort to see me and kept having 'breaks' from our relationship during which I knew he was with other people. I guess I liked having someone around so I stayed. I used to meet this other guy every lunchtime really and I finally broke up with my boyfriend about 3 months later and he broke up with his girlfriend about a month after that. I don't think either of them knew about our cheating but had an idea. Me and the guy then got together a month later and were together for about 2 and a half years until last year. It worked out well for me and I would never ever have dreamed of cheating on him, and him the same. I think if you truly do love someone you wouldn't do that to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Strange threads? How is that? Lol, def not going to be single, stuff is "for the most part" a lot better. probably cause: -why do people cheat? -does anybody feel like this (over and over again) -how to celebrate my 2nd year with gf (if you know your girl enough, you know how to make it special) -a guy from her high school contacted her......rut roh, oh no -she isn't that social, i'm worried -i love this girl but she treats me like garbage - i know i should have ended it several times but i couldn't (2 months ago) have you figured yourself out yet man? now you want to get a house and have her move in and get married next year? i don't get it man. that is why i always ask why you continue with this girl. i get the impression you haven't figured yourself out yet. i know this is beyond this cheating thread, but almost all of your threads elude to you needing to find yourself. what does 'for the most part' mean anyways? she apologized for the last time she treated you like crap? and for the record, i barely scraped the top of what you ask about in your threads. i won't go too far back cause honestly i think you have matured a bit since then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_lifters_life Posted May 26, 2010 Author Share Posted May 26, 2010 I figured myself out, many a year ago. For my age - I am extremely mature. I always get people thinking I'm 26/27 when they talk to me, solely on my maturity ( I dont have a ton of facial hair ) For the most part means - Just that. Lately (past 4 months+ have been better). Sure there are up's and down's, but that goes with any relationship. Life isn't perfect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Asti_ Posted May 26, 2010 Share Posted May 26, 2010 I figured myself out, many a year ago. For my age - I am extremely mature. I always get people thinking I'm 26/27 when they talk to me, solely on my maturity ( I dont have a ton of facial hair ) For the most part means - Just that. Lately (past 4 months+ have been better). Sure there are up's and down's, but that goes with any relationship. Life isn't perfect Ups and downs are one thing. The way she acts, the way she's treated you, and some of her behaviors are not "Ups and Downs" in my personal opinion. I don't classify a poor partner as being an up and down. Thats just a crummy partner. I think perhaps yes you are mature for your age, but you are dating someone much below your maturity level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a_lifters_life Posted May 26, 2010 Author Share Posted May 26, 2010 Ups and downs are one thing. The way she acts, the way she's treated you, and some of her behaviors are not "Ups and Downs" in my personal opinion. I don't classify a poor partner as being an up and down. Thats just a crummy partner. I think perhaps yes you are mature for your age, but you are dating someone much below your maturity level. ASTI! Its been awhile since you've commented! Haha. I think the bolded above, is very true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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