waveseer Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Hi all, I've been putting myself under an excessive amount of pressure lately to keep up with and stay on top of all of my day to day life details when normally I can take things as they come. Then I remembered, everyone I've ever lost that mattered to me I lost between the third week of April and the second week of June: - serious college bf graduated and left - gave daughter up for adoption - first marriage went up in flames - long term bf walked - father died - cat died There are probably more, but I can't remember them right now. I think the added pressure I am putting myself under to accomplish even more than I normally would is to prove to myself that I'm okay and maybe if I kept busy enough the season would pass without me taking notice. Luckily I can come here and tell you that I'm not so together. I wish my first reaction was not to avoid the grief, I know what can happen when I avoid my feelings and it serves nobody well. I am glad that I can accept life's losses and chose to keep breathing even when I'm afraid that some new loss will happen during this year's "major life losses" season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Waveseer, I know exactly how you feel, and this time period is one of loss for me too. Two years ago at this exact time I lost both my brother ( he died in a car accident ) and my marriage as well. I am glad that I can accept life's losses and chose to keep breathing even when I'm afraid that some new loss will happen during this year's "major life losses" season. ^^ I agree with you on this, and it is also why I believe the following quote as well: "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you learn to appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself...and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." Life is hard and unfair but you know what? I feel that everything happens for a reason and in all honesty what does not kill us makes us stronger. Everything we go through is an experience that makes us stronger and it makes us grow. You are not alone waveseer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 Thanks lunar, I appreciate your response and even though I don't wish similar losses on anyone, I'm glad you can relate. I'm not sure I agree with you that everything happens for a reason, for me sometimes it's enough to simply accept that things happen even when I'm not expecting them to happen. If being able to relate better with other people who've endured losses is the upside to experiencing loss, then I am moderately well-equipped. What comes to mind for me is that nobody gets through life unscathed, nobody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 ^^ I agree with you, I guess I just view things a little different when it comes to things happening for a reason but you are right nobody gets through life unscathed and I can definitely relate to you on that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 I just thought of something else. I noticed before how superstition was playing into my fear of incurring another loss this "season", but there have been many more years of no losses during this time than those which brought loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 ^^ That is great to hear.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 Thanks, and I suppose it's also worth noting that many types of losses are not controllable meaning there really is no "season", it's just when the cookie has crumbled in the past and has no bearing on the timing of any future losses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 You are absolutely right, things just happen when they are least expected.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 Yes, that's true, and by expecting painful things to happen I can squander a great deal of my time and energy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celestialagape54 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Yes, that's true, and by expecting painful things to happen I can squander a great deal of my time and energy. ^^ Yup! I think it is better spent looking towards the future Regardless of what life has in store for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waveseer Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 ^^ Yup! I think it is better spent looking towards the future Regardless of what life has in store for us. I'd like to enjoy the next few weeks, that's as far as I can see right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 I'd like to enjoy the next few weeks, that's as far as I can see right now. Losses happen all the time, not just within a certain time of the year. As you said, you lived many years without losses happening at this particular time. I have had a few losses happen to me during that same time period you mention..but then again I have had losses at other times of the year as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KG Posted May 30, 2010 Share Posted May 30, 2010 Wave, Seasons only occur in nature. What you are remembering are times when you were hurt, and that it seemed to run in a cycle. But think of those glorious times when nothing bad happened. "Puts on "positive spin" beanie cap." LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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