Any guys in their 30's who never dated yet?

[iwishiknew]

I turned 32 a few weeks ago and I never been out on a date yet and I never had a gf. I feel so bad and feels so weird for me being an old age of 32 and never had a date or a gf yet.

 

I was wondering are there any guys here in their 30's who never had a gf and never been out on a date? If so how do you feel about this? Does it bother you a lot? What is the reason why you never had a date or a gf?

[Shallow]

I was wondering are there any guys here in their 30's who never had a gf and never been out on a date? If so how do you feel about this? Does it bother you a lot? What is the reason why you never had a date or a gf?

 

I'm not this guy, but I will say I have went a long, long time between dates before. The main reason being lack of effort. I lost the will to even try. I suspect that's where you are as well?

[elm]

well i am 30 and never had a gf or been on dates. cause am not that good looking to go anyway.

[arnoldlayne]

Maybe instead of finding out how other people feel in your position, you should work on correcting whatever it is that is making you lack self-confidence.

[jimbojones100]

Maybe instead of finding out how other people feel in your position, you should work on correcting whatever it is that is making you lack self-confidence.

 

Those two things may not be mutually exclusive.

[arnoldlayne]

Those two things may not be mutually exclusive.

 

I see your point -- it could help to get some perspective from other people in the same position. I'm just saying that this information should be used to improve himself as a person and correct negative behavior. It's easier said than done, but realizing the problem and taking steps to resolve it would be more beneficial than simply seeing if any other 30 year olds out there are single.

[FathomFear]

I'm 30 and never dated. However, my situation was born out of not accepting my sexuality for a very long period in my life.

 

Gauging by the OP's signature, I suspect he sees himself as physically unattractive. OP--is that a fair assessment?

[LakeDrake]

I can relate. I'm in my mid-30's, never had a girlfriend and never been on a date. I was a loner in highschool and no one really wanted anything to do with me unless they needed help with a project or some typing to be done. The girls never really paid attention to me, and I found it difficult to be friends with anyone from there. I was just...weird...to most people. I hung out with the wrong (nerdy) crowd (I fully embrace my nerdiness now), and was generally picked on or avoided. Yeah, that place was pretty harsh on my self-esteem and self-worth. Even to this day I still have issues with self-esteem, self-worth, self-image, and so on.

 

It's always bugged me since then. Sometimes to the point of being depressed and miserable, avoiding friends and family, isolating myself from the world. The feelings always got worse as time wore on. Every year I'd be issuing ultimatums to myself, and declaring if something didn't happen, I'd either do myself in or do something drastic. I never did, because I was miserable and depressed about being miserable and depressed, and then remembering why i was miserable and depressed and became even more miserable and depressed.

 

Flash to now, 36, and it still bothers me. Not as much, I've been going through some heavy changes that are going to allow me to finally meet the women I'm interested in and go out on those dates. It's not that far from now, but I've been putting a good deal of effort to this.

 

If you're interested to know, about 3, 3 and a half years ago I ended up befriending this woman from work. She was a down-to-earth, friendly sort who saw the good in a lot of people. We ended up becoming good friends after opening up to each other, and from then on she was helping me to become a better person, realizing the potential I had and that all those things I was telling myself the reasons why I was so much a loser were frankly one-sided, and complete assumptions.

 

She's a certified life coach now and has been helping me out in those ways. She's helping to guide me into a better person, upping my self-esteem, and understanding how I operate better and squelching the crap I've been telling myself. A life coach and encouragement. Seems like a good recipe.

 

I hope this helps.

[bar35]

I wonder how many times you have asked women out on at date? Also, what is the rest of your social life like? Do you spend time with friends? Do you participate in any groups that have mutual interests?

[BriarRose]

I wonder how many times you have asked women out on at date? Also, what is the rest of your social life like? Do you spend time with friends? Do you participate in any groups that have mutual interests?

I wonder this, too. Perhaps it's not that you can't get a gf...

maybe you just aren't putting yourself out there?

[george237]

I have a friend that is in his late 20's and never been on a date. He's not the nicest thing to look at but he still has women that do seem interested in him. His problem is his attitude. He tends to either be shy and lack confidence when women approach them, not talk to them, or the complete opposite when he's drunk and comes off as a db.

 

I would not focus on your looks as much, cause lets face it you can only do so much with that, and focus on your attitude. If you don't think highly of yourself neither will women.

[BriarRose]

I have a friend that is in his late 20's and never been on a date. He's not the nicest thing to look at but he still has women that do seem interested in him. His problem is his attitude. He tends to either be shy and lack confidence when women approach them, not talk to them, or the complete opposite when he's drunk and comes off as a db.

 

I would not focus on your looks as much, cause lets face it you can only do so much with that, and focus on your attitude. If you don't think highly of yourself neither will women.

Very true. I have certainly fallen for men that were not conventionally handsome. While we won't go out with someone we are not "attracted to", what defines that attraction will vary. We are not all looking for the washboard abs, trust me on this.

[enalover143]

Good for you dude! That is the spirit and the right way to approach this kind of thing.

[bruinsy81]

I wonder this, too. Perhaps it's not that you can't get a gf...

maybe you just aren't putting yourself out there?

Looking at the OP's dillema in a practical way,yes,this is likely why he is single,i.e. he isn't asking women out,but it isn't that simple.If the OP could do that[ask women out and ultimately find one who would go out with him]he would be.There could be a wide variable of factors contributing to his situation:social anxiety,lack of social skills,lack of a social network,other self esteem issues.Unfortunately the OP likely can't look at his situation in an objective way and is probably assuming it is because he is physically unattractive.I do not think this is the case.That is, I think it is highly unlikely that his physical appearance is the contributing factor to why he is single.His thought about his physical appearance is probably more damaging to his pursuit of a compatible partner than his actual physical appearance.I am sure there are women out there who the OP would find attractive and vice ersa.It's not the physical appearance per se.Perhaps the OP should look at his situation as objectively as he can.I would guess that currently he doesn't get much of an opportunity to sociallize with single available women ..Going to a crowded bar is a waste of time for a shy person and it isn't conducive to any kind of social interaction.I guess my advice would be to look for situations that are comfortable for you where you can talk with women .Try to find activities that you like ..You never know where you will meet a woman ..The cute girl who works at the store might be one perfect for you,so engage that girl if you can.

[obs]

29 before I had a gf. Mostly because I simply never tried due to always been awkward and shy around women I was interested in. I'm not horrible looking either, and am very athletic (runner/biker), but it just wasn't a priority.

[iwishiknew]

I wonder how many times you have asked women out on at date? Also, what is the rest of your social life like? Do you spend time with friends? Do you participate in any groups that have mutual interests?

 

I have asked women out many times. A lot said "No", a lot laughed with giggles, some said "maybe, I'll think about it" or some other lame excuse. I don't have a lot of friends, many of them moved away but I do still keep in touch with them. I have participated in many groups before in school and outside of school. I was in the running club, car club, rollerblading club and hockey club.

[Philos]

It's never too late to start if you want.

 

I never got to a second date until I was 22.

[GernBlanston]

It's never too late to start if you want.

Sometimes it doesn't matter whether you want to date or not. Sometimes what matters is whether others want to date you.

[iwishiknew]

Sometimes it doesn't matter whether you want to date or not. Sometimes what matters is whether others want to date you.

 

 

I also agree

[cpc28655]

I had a college roomate that was in his late 20's and had never had a girlfriend. However, he did have plenty of boyfriends, lol.

 

All jokes aside, you are the only one that can change your dry spell.

[GernBlanston]

All jokes aside, you are the only one that can change your dry spell.

Not true. Ending a dry spell would necessarily require another person.

[Stay_home]

Self-destruction is a deadly sin.

 

You're mind is a very prolific device; more powerful than any kind of terabyte they've got coming out on these new computers. But if you program it to work in a self-destructive manner, it can and will work against you. That's why you've got to spend more time nurturing it with better thoughts to keep the peace within yourself.

[cpc28655]

Not true. Ending a dry spell would necessarily require another person.

 

In other words, he has to get out there and try. I don't care who you are, what you look like, or what kind of car you drive, somebody somewhere is going to like you.

[iwishiknew]

I don't give up, I keep on trying.

[The Wire]

Not quite 30 but late 20's, never really had the desire to date until recently, I've hung out with women on plenty of occasions but as intent was not in pursuance of a relationship I wouldn't count those, doesn't really bother me though, it'll happen when it happens.