Stepping stones and "Love is in the air!"

[uncomfynumb]

My best friend called me this evening to tell me her boyfriend proposed to her this week. Several weeks prior, another good friend told me that she is getting married to her best friend (she actually asked me if I would perform the ceremony.) I am so happy for both of them even though love seems to be elusive in my own life.

 

Marriage has not been something that I've considered much at all over the last ten years. Those years I've spent building, growing, tearing down, and planning a future for myself. Rarely throughout this time did I see my self getting married or even wanting to until I met my now ex. He said some things to me during our relationship that changed my views and opened up my heart and mind to the idea. Then I found God, again, after a long absence from my faith. My emotions fell into place. But it wasn't the right time or the right guy.

 

I've been upset for months of and on; with him, with me, we know how that goes right? But I'm happy that I'm in the place I am now. I'm no longer dismissing my needs and desires, sweeping them under the rug for fear of failure, for fear that I'll be another statistc, one of the many that marries and later divorces. I know now more than ever that I am not only good, but that I can do it and do it right.

 

I don't know yet what my husbands face looks like, how he smells, how he tastes, what his favorite song is or what is current favorite pastime is, not yet. But I will. And my ex was merely a stepping stone to get me here to this place I thought I would never be.

 

I remember the saying that sometimes people come into your life for a reason, or a season. My ex was in my life for both, a reason and a season. I've learned some hard and valuable lessons from that relationship and I am a better person for it. So while I can get down in the mouth if I choose to, I'm not going to do that any more. It is a choice after all.

 

Today I choose to be my loving self no matter what, to be open and honest about who I am and what I want. I choose to let faith override any insecurites that might linger. My soulmate will appreciate that and do the same for me.

 

If anyone chances to read this, make your own choice. Choose to accept, to let go and to be the most loving and gracious creature that you can. Love cannot find you when you are living in the past or the future. You must be open and present in this moment.

 

People often ask, "How does one let go?" I think that you must declare it often enough until you mean it. I think that you shift your focus to asking God or the universe to bring you love, to proclaim that you are loving by being loving. And at the end of the day, the most loving thing you can do for someone is to forgive them, as you forgive yourself, and to let go. But not without faith that things will work out for you. The will if you only believe the will. And that is the final thing... BELIEVE

[fearless31]

WOW this is such a great post - i am going to cut and paste a lot of what you said and read it every day because i believe every word of it. thank you for sharing - whoever your future husband is out there, i think he is a lucky guy.

[sphx26]

Nice post! thanks! Yes, I agree, I find so much peace through prayers. Also, I believe in the fact that the best things you can do is continue loving(yourself,above all others)and believe. If it's meant to be, then it will be.

[uncomfynumb]

You all are welcome! I'm posting from my iPhone so excuse the grammer.

 

I think what happens so often in relationships is that we lose faith, lose our loving kindness, and let fear in. What is there to fear?

 

People say that the opposite of love is indifference. I agree. But also believe that what gets us there is fear. So while you ate healing, think of your ex as being fearful. It will help you to be more loving and empathtic yourself which I think is our natural, spiritual state.

 

We are not here to fix, to directly heal others. We are here to love. Remember that love is patient, kind, does not envy and does not seek it's own. It is a state of being that brings you to doing what is natural.

 

If you focus on your own negative emotions you will find that those too arise out of fear whether it be a fear of being hurt again, fear of making mistakes, fear of losing the one that you love. What good will come from this fear in the long run? Surely not peace. Fear will always hold you captive in matters of the heart.

[savignon]

In addition to the above, its great that you can be happy for your friends during this joyful period for them even while you are healing your own heart. I've heard all too many people say they just can't be around their happy friends or even enjoy a party celebrating them or stay through their wedding. So sad when there is so much joy to be shared and I imagine they would want their friends smiling around them when its their turn.

Great post and fabulous attitude!