ForeverHis2009 Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Okay here it goes, bear with me... Been in a most wonderful LDR for 14 months. We knew each other back in school many years ago. Thanks to social networking we reacquainted, magically hit it off & eventually fell in love. Mind you, we are both in our 40s. I have been divorced for 10 yrs, he never found the right woman to marry. Well as of last week we are now engaged. Oh did I mention 1798 miles separates us. My fiancée works a family business, owns a small home with a great amount of equity built. No children... I have 4 children- 22, 18, 16 & 13. Because of a single income I have been unable to purchase a house in our high priced Chicago suburb. Chose to move here after my divorce so my children can be in the good school district the area offers. Needless to say it has been a financial struggle but my kids never went without although they may tell you otherwise (you know like when their 16 yr old friend gets a car for their BDay in this affluent suburb). My oldest is getting married this year, 18 yr old graduates in a few weeks, 16 yr old graduates next yr, 13 yr old will graduate 8th grade next yr- Spring 2011. Both he & I are extremely close to our family although his parents do not live in his state. My family is within an hour drive of me. My ex relocated to a neighboring state last year to be w/his gf. He picks n chooses when he sees the children (neither here or there really). He is okay with me moving our 13 yr old after she graduates 8th grade. I have desired to relocate to his state even before we became acquainted but figured I would wait til my children are grown. That was before him... I love his area. It is affordable, great rated schools for my youngest & of course we would have the benefit of dual income ( I should probably be able to do a job transfer). Dilemma... Why do I feel so darn guilty for wanting to move even though my 2 middle children will be in college & my oldest will be married? I told them they are welcome to come home to my new state during summer break but their friends are here. All my children LOVE my fiancée. As a matter of fact when my youngest lost her last baby tooth it was him that she called to share the exciting news rather than her dad. For the most part my youngest is excited about the move although she will miss seeing her dad for that (maybe) one night every other weekend. The possible move is still a year away and I am certain my 13 yr old just might change her mind a time or two at least before then. To what degree do I allow her or my other children to dictate whether or not I should relocate for love? I know without a doubt that it will be a good move for us but yes it is not going to be without some trepidation & heartache along the way. Link to comment
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