Pictures of his ex

[Unknown1607307972]

I hate it when a guy I am with has contact with his ex, but if he wants contact with his ex I wouldn't try and get in the way...I'd just assume we are not right for eachother because I would be miserable with paranoia over it yet I wouldn't want to be a controlling b***h to him either.

[digger11]

"You're keeping those pictures because you still have romantic feelings," it's hard to out right say that without the guy's perspective here (we're only given the best friend's perspective and every couple is different)."

 

Clearly NOT what I am saying.

[hexaemeron]

I guess my problem with this, and other issues creeping up with "insecurity" and "comfort" is that the prevailing common "wisdom" says the burden of responsibility of resolving these feelings falls to the other person, coercing and manipulation that person to behave more complimentarily to these issues.

 

And that's whack. Insecurities are an individual's responsibility to resolve. You're supposed to grow and improve yourself in daily life anyway, and especially so in a relationship. It seems to me to be entirely unconscionable to force someone else to make it easier to justify and validate your insecurities, when insecurities are meant to be resolved and grown past in the first place!

 

Honestly, this just seems so lazy to me. "Well, I'd have to actually grow as a person to get past my own issues, so I'll just harrangue you until you don't trigger these feelings in me!"

 

Ugh.

[Longview01]

Ive got a shoe box that ive kept for the last 11 years, its got pictures, letters even an old braclet from past relationships but just because I have these items doesnt mean i'm constantly looking through them and wishing I was with those people again. Its just how I remember people that were special to me and if I do look through it I remember what we had and how it fell apart and hope to learn from it in the futre.

 

My ex didnt have a problem at all with this shoe box, infact when we broke up she even made a point of giving my several valentines day cards that she had given to me but I had left at hers to be added to the box because she knew how important it was to me.