Onegirl Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Comparing yourself to the new person in ex's life Feeling abandoned and discarded Feeling replaced Having your ego bruised Feeling sadness, anger and empathy toward ex Feeling your ex is evil and a complete loser Feeling your ex couldn't make a decision with the head on his shoulders if he had to. So my question is what else do I get to look forward to? Link to comment
mightyreal Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 i think these are common thoughts that we all have in your situation. these are normal reactions. i think you should look forward to moving on. getting yourself better and realising that it's possible in every way to meet someone much better than your ex who is perfect for you. you should embrace the fact that you're single as well. Link to comment
Brigadoon Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Seems a pretty comprehensive list to me sweetie Link to comment
TheLionKing Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 Comparing yourself to the new person in ex's life Feeling abandoned and discarded Feeling replaced Having your ego bruised Feeling sadness, anger and empathy toward ex Feeling your ex is evil and a complete loser Feeling your ex couldn't make a decision with the head on his shoulders if he had to. So my question is what else do I get to look forward to? You get to look forward to reflecting back on your relationship, realising that it ended for a reason and being ambivalent and likely forgiving towards your ex. You get to look forward to finding and valuing yourself again. You get to look forward to using what you have learnt to make your next relationship better. You get to look forward to happiness in your life again, which does always come in time. Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 You get to look forward to reflecting back on your relationship, realising that it ended for a reason and being ambivalent and likely forgiving towards your ex. You get to look forward to finding and valuing yourself again. You get to look forward to using what you have learnt to make your next relationship better. You get to look forward to happiness in your life again, which does always come in time. i second these words. also find it interesting that you use the word 'empathy' in the mix with anger and sadness. empathy is a huge thing to be able to experience at this point. it always leads to (or implies) greater understanding...which in turn will allow you to accept and forgive. great opportunity to learn about yourself...how you react...how you slip into certain patterns...how you get stuck. the only way to get unstuck is to first delve into how you get stuck to begin with. Link to comment
FaceBlaster Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 3 words sum up the entire universe...Life goes on...I can't take credit for them but they pretty much speak for themselves...as for your emotions..totally normal...what else is normal is that in time YOU WILL find someone who will make you forget all about your ex...and then you'll wonder "what was I stressing about?"...and that is an awesome feeling..knowing you survived it and how you have moved on...it isn't visible right now..but it will be..and sooner than you think..been there many times. Link to comment
jessss Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 i just got broken up with too, and i feel the same way. it always gets better, because although you never truly stop loving someone, the feeling slowly dies down until you hardly ever think about him. Link to comment
Scorpio_Less Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 You get to look forward to sitting in a coffee shop, minding your own business, when all of a sudden, out of the blue, you look up and there is someone that makes your heart race and gives you butterflies in your stomach... Link to comment
Kaytie Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 You get to look forward to sitting in a coffee shop, minding your own business, when all of a sudden, out of the blue, you look up and there is someone that makes your heart race and gives you butterflies in your stomach... YES!! And OP, you will feel that way again. This is a learning experience and you will see that in time. Link to comment
finneganno Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 All normal! How long was the relationship? Link to comment
sphx26 Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 We dated for 7 months.. Nice quotation about a slimy ex! lol.. Those feelings sounds normal to me, except the part where you compare the new person to the ex. Maybe it's just me but by the time I get into dating again after being broken up, I don't lcompare them to the ex. On a positive note, you can look forward to : -feeling better about gaining the wisdom of having let go of a slimy ex.lol - become a better person. - take all the time you need to heal so you will be ready to give your heart fully again (don't do this until you're really ready). Link to comment
finneganno Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 Seven months isn't that bad. You should be OK fairly soon. I'm a sensitive person with rejection issues and the longest it ever took me to get over a breakup completely was 1 year for a 3 month relationship. You'll be OK in a few months, is my guess. It's going to really, really hurt, and then less, and then it just won't. It will be just another thing that happened to you that you'll be over. You WILL feel differently. My guess is that you are cooler in every way than the new person. Just a hunch Link to comment
Onegirl Posted May 25, 2010 Author Share Posted May 25, 2010 That's good to know. And I'm already doing much better after week 8. I'm on week 9 now. And week 9 is a good place to be. Link to comment
Hermes Posted May 25, 2010 Share Posted May 25, 2010 OneGirl: I think the items you enumerate say more about the "relationship" than about the break-up and its effects. For example: Feeling abandoned and discarded H Link to comment
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