Lost my virginity to boyfriend of 10 months..and..

[onelifetolive]

So I finally did it. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and we finally did it. Im happy I did it and it was great, but i was so nervous that i made him stop. The risk of pregnancy ALWAYS runs through my mind and when we did it, the thought of it didnt stop, so im sure it could have been more enjoyable. I cant really go on birth control bc if my parents cannot know any of this, its a very hard topic. what do i do? i trust my boyfriend so much and cant wait to do it again, but he has yet to cum in me. thank you!

[Jd1983]

Why don't you use condoms if you're not using birth control?

 

If you're so worried about being pregnant, then you need to ease your mind and use some sort of protection.

[onelifetolive]

we did use a condom. im still worried with it. should i be?

[4ever2gether]

How old are you? can't you go on BC without your parents knowing? just a condom isn't always safe!

[onelifetolive]

im 19 and im too worried about going on it. i really dont want it

[4ever2gether]

well I guess just use a condom, but just know that condoms aren't 100% safe, just as BC so if you are too worried about becoming pregnant maybe you are not ready to have sex. I have two friends that used condoms and still managed to get pregnant.

[Casmut]

When my ex and i were together, i would sometimes use a condom and she would use a contraceptive film. Just remember that no matter what you use or how you do it, you will never have anything be 100% effective.

[Jd1983]

Props for using a condom. Secondly, while there is a slim chance of you getting pregnant or the condom breaking, it's still protection than no protection.

 

There are other means of birth control if you want to weigh your options. Why not going to a gyno and find out what is more suitable for you?

[Perfect Dark]

im 19 and im too worried about going on it. i really dont want it

 

No offence but if that's how you feel then maybe you're not mature enough for sex just yet ?

 

I would go on the pill just in-case the condom breaks. You're 19; it's not up to your parents.

[kenshinkitten]

I understand your fear about your parents finding out, I was the same way. When they did found out it wasn't pretty but things are fine. Getting on Birth control is the best thing you can do. Go to planned parenthood.

It affects everyone differently, it has had no negative effects on me that I have noticed. You can't let the fear of pregnancy ruin your sex life.

[abitbroken]

So I finally did it. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and we finally did it. Im happy I did it and it was great, but i was so nervous that i made him stop. The risk of pregnancy ALWAYS runs through my mind and when we did it, the thought of it didnt stop, so im sure it could have been more enjoyable. I cant really go on birth control bc if my parents cannot know any of this, its a very hard topic. what do i do? i trust my boyfriend so much and cant wait to do it again, but he has yet to cum in me. thank you!

 

If you can't go on birth control because you are afraid what other people will think, you are not ready to continue a sexual relationship. Part of taking on such an adult responsibility (notice I say "responsibility", not "right") requires you to make mature choices and decisions. By the way, gynecologists prescribe birth control for other reasons besides pregnancy prevention. They sometimes prescribe it to regulate your monthly cycle if you have painful periods, etc. However, it is not so simple as just getting a prescription. You must take it every single day without fail, and I would say it won't even work until you have taken it without fail for a few months.

 

Also, if you are on the pill, it is likely that your parents will find out as it will be sitting in your bathroom - otherwise it will have to be in your purse constantly.

 

If you and your boyfriend truly love eachother, it will be no big deal to wait for awhile before you try this again. He is not going to leave you if you decide not to have sex with him until you and he both are ready to protect yourselves.

 

Also, it goes both ways. He can wear a condom to make sure you are taking every precaution. I would demand that he do so whether you are on the pill or not.

 

By the way - try talking to your mom. Your mom is not 100 years old and also = trust me - she has had sex before. She may be more understanding than you think. She may not be happy with her daughter having sex if you are a minor, but you can have a conversation with her about your changing body and talk about pregnancy and what happens and also birth control. It is natural to be curious about it, even if you aren't sexually active. You are also an adult so its not like they can tell you you can't, but it is clear that you dont have enough information.

 

Overall, I would advise you to not have sex at this time until you have things straightened out - and even then, just so you know - having sex can confuse things - make you feel closer to a guy or sort of overlook things that are not right in a relationship, too. So just keep your eyes open.

[jengh]

If you're so against contraceptive pills, maybe look into spermicidal lube or something... but I agree-if you're THIS worried about what people would think if you're on the pill, you don't sound mature enough to handle sex.

 

Would you rather explain to your mom that you want to be responsible and go on the pill, or explain to her how you ended up pregnant? In ANY case, you're 19 and she doesn't need to know. Call planned parenthood. Completely confidential.

[Casmut]

Oh and to add to my post, she eventually went on the pill and i still used a condom. Although not all the time. You're old enough to make your own decisions, sex is supposed to be enjoyable and you shouldn't have these worries or you'll never enjoy your sex life.

[Sanesoul]

im 19 and im too worried about going on it. i really dont want it

 

It's your body, and it's up to you to be safe. Condoms are not 100% effective, just like any other form. The only thing that will protect you 100% is abstinence.

 

Either way, if the worry interferes with your enjoyability, then I suggest you work on that.

[RedDress]

Get the shot. You go to the doctor, they do an exam, you get a shot. Your periods stop (double bonus). You don't have to worry about taking pills. You don't have to worry about anyone finding out. Doctor's visits at 19 are confidential...

 

At your age? I'd go for the shot.

 

Besides... I am sure that your parents would be much more upset if you came home pregnant.

 

Don't play with fire. Go to the doctor and discuss birth control.

[onelifetolive]

what is the shot? and what does it do?

[jengh]

what is the shot? and what does it do?

 

It makes you not pregnant?..

 

It's like the pill, in shot form. You get it once every 3 months and don't have to worry about a period.

[abitbroken]

Get the shot. You go to the doctor, they do an exam, you get a shot. Your periods stop (double bonus). You don't have to worry about taking pills. You don't have to worry about anyone finding out. Doctor's visits at 19 are confidential...

 

At your age? I'd go for the shot.

 

Besides... I am sure that your parents would be much more upset if you came home pregnant.

 

Don't play with fire. Go to the doctor and discuss birth control.

 

problem is that she doesn't want to go to the doc. She fears her parents will find out if she gets bc in the first place. I am guessing she is on their insurance and they will find out from an itemized statement for their health insurance or see a prescription under their prescription coverage so getting an implant or shot is going to fare the same. Due to patient privacy laws she may be protected but if they are the ones paying for the insurance and footing the bill they may be privvy.

 

Actually, I wouldn't advise to get any shots - screwing up your hormones is not a substitute for solid, level headed judgement. The guy in this situation needs to take precautions as well and if neither of them are mature enough to talk about it and address it, then they should abstain.

[onelifetolive]

can i get birthcontrol without my parents knowing through planned parenthood and not have it go on my insurance or anything?

[Casmut]

Unless your parents ruffle through your mail, no i don't think they'll find out. Not to sound harsh though, should it matter what your parents think? I know 19 is young, but you really are old enough to know what you want and what is best for you.

[jengh]

can i get birthcontrol without my parents knowing through planned parenthood and not have it go on my insurance or anything?

 

Yes, that's what I do. You pay what you can afford. It's 100% confidential.

[greywolf]

can i get birthcontrol without my parents knowing through planned parenthood and not have it go on my insurance or anything?

 

planned parenthood is completely confidential. Your parents will never find out unless you're the one that screws up and leaves pills around somewhere.

[OptomisticGirl]

I agree with Greywolf.

 

Shoot, my dad knew I was going on it and I was 15 and HE couldn't call and make the appointment, I had. He couldn't even be in the room when they were discussing things with me so as long as you have a ride to the place, your parents won't know.

 

As far as cost, if you don't have a job, in the state I use to live in, it's free. And if you do they base it on your income. I don't know if you are on your parents insurance but that shouldn't matter, you are over the legal age limit, it should fall on you.

 

It's 100% confidential. And I agree, if you are going to have sex, you can't rely on just condoms. I mean, no one but you and your bf has to know you are on the pill or shot but you NEED that extra protection and take it like it says.