letsgotobed Posted May 24, 2010 Share Posted May 24, 2010 it's been about a year since she broke up with me. i've gone through a lot of ups and downs. mostly ups lately. but i still haven't met anybody else or had the courage to really approach anybody else. i've tried reading about that stuff, but i dont know. my self-esteem seems to inflate and deflate all of the time. i look like a totally different person from when we went out so i really dont know if i am good looking or not anymore. we were close. probably in a dangerous way. we disliked the same types of people, liked a lot of the same things. but anyway. i saw some recent pictures of her on facebook through a mutual friend. it just makes me feel bad seeing her hang out with all of those people she said she disliked. i know people change, it's just i feel like i have been completely disregarded in every way. i feel like an idiot for believing all of the things she said. she had my name tattooed on her back. and had it covered up. i dont know. i dont have much going for me anymore. i cant help but always think of things in terms of the breakup. it still feels traumatic occasionally. i feel alone a lot of the time. i know it is my fault that im this way but that knowledge doesn't seem to help me. idk. just venting i guess. there are days where i feel the exact opposite of what im feeling now. i just feel so betrayed even though i shouldnt and the break up was a year ago, etc. not my first relationship, but the first one i would consider serious... Link to comment
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