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what's with the random setback for no reason??

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hi all...i have been lurking around here lately after taking a break for a bit. about 7 months from my breakup and the past week and especially the past few days i've felt like HELL! nauseous, panicky, crying a lot. i want it to stop - the thing is, nothing happened to cause this. nothing! i just started feeling this way. does anyone have experience with this? where these feelings just come out of nowhere?


i know we were not meant to be and i don't want to get back together (most of me at least) but i miss him SO much lately, all of a sudden, and i don't know why. i feel like i'm in this weird holding pattern where i was doing my best to move on and now i'm going backwards. HELP! i thought i was doing better - i WAS doing better...but to feel like this again just makes me so sad...

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I am sorry you feel like that. It is not a great feeling to think you are moving past something only to have it "pop" up again like "surprise! Here I am" Well, from everything I have read and been through, I think it can still happen. Something could have triggered you that you didnt even realize (the turn of the season) or maybe you are feeling a bit vulerable or bored right now?


Even if it is not either of those, maybe you need to go through just a bit more mourning. I think it is like the stock market, as long as we are eventually going up and to the right (on a chart) we are okay. We will have dips and setbacks but as long as we are two steps forward one step back, we are going in the right direction. I wouldnt overthink it. Just feel it and you can have comfort it will eventually pass (since it did time and time again over the past 7 months)..

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I'm in the same situation, don't know the reason either. I am sure we definitely will not get back together, after 2 affairs in our marriage, I don't think I can trust him (any male to be exact) anymore. In fact, he is living with his new girl now. this new one moved into "our" home soon after I left home (I thought it was a break, ending up a breakup).


I was in quite a good condition last months, but I am down and depressed especially these 2 weeks, miss that betrayer so much. The feeling is very painful

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I was depressed severely for probably 4 1/2 months after my breakup. Then for the last 4 months or so it has been up and down for no real reason. One day I would be Mr. Confident, not a care in the world, killing it in my business and the next I would be down, unmotivated and wishing it would all end.


Then I started to realize it only happened when I allowed myself to think about it. Honestly, you probably let yourself think about them, why you can't have them, maybe a happy moment you shared together...and it's a never ending cycle. It just keeps snowballing until you find yourself crying and depressed.


Until you can handle thinking about your ex, deliberately stop yourself and literally do something else. Start cleaning, pop in a movie, talk to someone about something totally unrelated. The last one is the best because you get talking and forget about everything.

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thanks guys - you're advice is really good. thought stopping techniques, i should've thought of that. i guess i haven't done that much because of wanting to work through my feelings so they don't resurface later, but then again, i can't dwell on them. i just don't know what about of letting myself process it is healthy and what is hurting me from moving on. ugh...


i have to repeat to myself, 'this too shall pass'.


maybe i'm just lonely - i think jenna hit the nail on the head - i think i'm bored. i'm doing the same things and i'm not happy so i need to figure out how to change that. the only problem is i have no idea where to start!


messy soul, i'm sorry you're going through the same thing. i don't know how to stop missing the betrayer. i want to go back to when i was mad...but then, i've forgiven him for myself and therefore i don't want to hold on to anger either.

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If the crying and anxiety becomes too much, go see your doctor. I was having panic attacks a year after he left. If it weren't for Valium, I would have been in a mental hospital. I simply could not stop crying.


Then I had my hormones checked and discovered I was completely out. I'm off Valium and on HRT. I have a new problem: my sex drive is back stronger than ever! Noooooooooo!

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