Why can't I stop thinking about him?

[donewithitall]

It's been 2.5 months since that fateful day when he texted me to tell me that he had a new girlfriend and wanted us to still be friends.

 

I thought that I was in a LDR with him for 2 years but obviously he wasn't as committed to making it work as I was. Looking back, I'm still trying to forgive myself for all the denial and excuses I made for him. I'm still trying to forgive myself for not having the courage to let him go.

 

I've been doing well since then. I initiated NC immediately. I've been busy working on making me happy. I feel like I've let go of the anger I feel about the whole situation. Still working on the hurt part of it. I have forgiven him for his part of the relationship. That really was a freeing feeling for me. It's a little bit harder for me to forgive myself for my role in the relationship, but I'm working on it and learning that it's okay for me to make mistakes.

 

Lately, I have been thinking about him more often, during downtime or the long drive to work. He keeps popping up in my dreams again, which hadn't happened for about a month. Then a couple days ago, I get an email about a job opportunity at the place he will be working at in a month. That just brought back all the future plans I had with him because I was supposed to move down to where he is when I'm done with my training.

 

Why can't I stop thinking about him? I really miss my friend. :sad:

[helloarizona]

I'm sorry to hear of your difficult situation, it sounds really hard. But I believe that what will eventually bring you true happiness is to avoid taking this job where he works. You would inevitably see him, which would bring back these reminders of future plans. He's moved on and you can too. Just try to stay as busy as possible and keep him off your mind! Best of luck.

[nguyenal]

You can but instead, you chose to think about him.

[donewithitall]

I am doing my best not to think about him and work on thinking about what I want. I need to keep reminding myself that I shouldn't care about someone who stopped caring about me.

[Brigadoon]

I was having this exact thought today!

I had to drive to near where my ex now lives to get car parts from a place that we went to together a good number of times and it really triggered a load of memories.

I think that we get into the habit of running through all these memories and we actively need to tell ourselves to stop doing it. Obviously you're still pretty fresh from your break up so you've got stuff to process but I'm nearly a year afterwards so I've got nooooooooo excuse lol.

I can't wait for the day when someone will say something and I'll actually have to think before I go "Oh ya that was when I was with such and such"

I'm sure our exes still think of us at times but they decided that we should become a part of their pasts so let's go ahead and oblige them!