Please help...I don't know what to do

[CPonizzle]

I finally have the girl of my dreams. It all started in the 9th grade when I first saw her walk down the lunch Isle. Her beauty just had me hypnotized and I told myself that someday I will find a way to that woman's heart and give her the love that she deserves. I never had the confidence to go up to her and get to know her, but I knew she thought something of me because I had told my friend who I sat with at lunch and as blunt and upfront as she was, she went up to her and said, " You see that guy right there, well he thinks your beautiful. " And she replied saying that I was cute. When she came back and told me that I was amazed that she thought that. Still no confidence to see where my actions would take me. Then 12th grade came along. It was the beginning of the year and I started biology. And guess who had the same class as me. The teacher blabbed on and then told us he had assigned seats for us.

 

He sits her directly next to me. Fate? maybe. I finally had the confidence because I didn't want to seem like I wasn't a friendly person. She said " Hi " to me and I could feel all of my blood rush to my head, my heart beating profusively, and more like birds in my stomach. As we got more into the year, the more I got to talk to her and I couldn't wait for that class everyday. I use to give her answers to my tests and all of the good stuff to get her to feel like I was there for her. Typical highschool puppy love..on my end atleast. Everytime the teacher would tell us to pair up she would never hesitate and before the teacher could even finish that sentence she would look at me and ask me to be her partner.

 

I was in heaven and couldn't get much higher. Towards the end of the year I started to hate school and stopped coming to class. Bad timing to drop out but I went to adult education school and got my diploma. We lost communication for a bout 2 years and then I found her on myspace. We began to talk a little and when I was about to ask her what she was doing for valentines day, her profile didn't exist anymore. I felt bummed. Another year went by and I found that she had made a new one and we began talking again. This time I was leaving to join the Air Force and had to tell her how I felt.

 

She was in shock that I felt about her that way and she said she did too and that she wished I had told her that a long time ago. Wow did I feel stupid. Had the chance but my self-esteem had me at a low. She had recently moved to Texas, but I was going to Texas to start basic training. Coincidence anyone? Just wait it gets better. She gave me her number and told me to keep in touch. After training they stationed me in Wichita falls...TEXAS. We started to keep in touch everyday and began to get closer and closer. I couldn't leave to go see her unfortunately because I didn't have a vehicle at the time.

 

At the time she was a mother with another one along the way. I have no problem with kids because I helped my bestfriend raise his little one and It was a joy and a privilege to experience parenting. I knew it was hard for her to be a single mom and I helped her in everyway I could. Whatever she needed I was there to provide for her. Then I got my orders to my next base. Dyess AFB in Abilene...Texas! Out of all the places around the world they could have sent me, they sent me 350 miles away from her. Now it's just fate. As we continued to get closer, the more I was falling in love with her.

 

I finally got a car, and by this time I could actually had a second chance on asking her what she was doing for Valentine's day. She wanted to see me as bad as I wanted to see her and took the initiative to make an attempt to follow through. Though it was only for about 30 minutes because she must have forgot about me, I drove 6 hours to see her. Hoping to win her heart, I gave her a gold trimmed pink rose and we talked about our past with eachother. As I was leaving to come back home, She texted me and asked me if we could take things to the next level. I'll never forget that day because that was the day she became my girlfriend. As time went by we became soo close it was like a fairytale love. I felt like if I had never took that leap of fate that I was given, I would have never known what could have been.

 

Like I said and like I promised her, I wanted to be her main provider at whatever she needed because I loved her deep inside my heart and I know she needed help, and so I did. I always sent her money and whatever she needed, and a few gifts to cheer her up and make her day. We always communicated everyday, woke eachother with a " Good morning ", and she told me that she apreciated everything I've done for her, and that she wanted to marry me. She told me she was falling for me but was scared she would be hurt again. I have never cheated on a girl in my life, and would never even think about doing that to her. As time went by I was still providing for her, even if it meant sacrificing my enjoyment of having things, I did it for her.

 

I'm not the type of person to say, " I love you " but she said it first and we began to say it in our conversations. Now comes the hurt. For the past few weeks we have become extremely distant. It's been a little over 3 months, and over those months I have seen her about 4 times. It's hard being in the military and having to follow work related orders and not being able to see my love as much as we both really wanted to. She told me a while back that she understands and that she would always wait for me. Now that she has a place of her own and she is taking care of two children and working full time, I understand she's a very responsible and busy woman, but when she was living with her parents at the time with all of this happening with a job and all, she has never been that distant. I told her that I understand what she is dealing with and that she doesn't have any personal time to herself, and that I would give her the space she needed to enjoy herself.

 

But now it had got to the point where she doesn't respond at all. It makes me feel like I'm annoying her because of it. I don't obsese and text her 30 times a day to see what she's up to..more like 3 if that, and if she doesn't respond...I don't haggle and blow up her message box. Over the past 3 days now she has completely ignored me and it's killing me every hour, minute, and second of the day. I've become really depressed because I think she is losing feelings for me and there's nothing I can do about it. She has time to update her statuses on her profile, but never to say " Hi " anymore. It's really hurtful and has thrown me completely off course. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm stuck in a rut. I really want this to work out because I don't want her to be stressed out about life and I want us to become a team and I want to take care of her and her children, give them the benefits of being a military family, and take them accross the world to wherever they want. I feel soo helpless and if anyone could talk to me about this I would really apreciate the support.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Can you break this up into paragraphs so that it is easier to read...thanks.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Why don't you call her and ask her what is going on. Are you sure she hasn't met someone else? Are her children from the same father or different fathers?

[botticelli]

Definitely talk to her and tell her your worries.. ask her to be honest with you because you are always honest with her and, as her bf, deserve/want to know what has changed to make her so distant. Good luck. CPonizzle.