I got what I hoped for...

[u4me]

Long story short, I was in a committed LDR. I was very loyal to him and trusted him completely. My world was turned upside down when he called to tell me he met someone new. She moved in with him within days. It was as if she just walked in where I got booted off. That was over 20 months ago. This has been one of the most difficult times of my life. It's taken me all of this time to accept that this is not a person I want to reconcile with - I could never trust him again. The loss of my romantic partner was hard enough, but I lost my best friend, too. And, he was given instructions by the new woman to never contact me.

 

Well, he called yesterday. He hasn't called me in over a year. She finally ended their relationship. He wouldn't committ to moving to her new city (where she had a new job after being unemployed for almost the entire duration of their relationship) and she couldn't deal with what had now become a LDR. She has huge trust issues (no kidding, since he cheated on me to be with her).

 

This is awful, but after I came to terms that I didn't want to be with him, I just wanted their relationship to end. And, I'm sorry to report - it feels great! I feel free.

[savignon]

I'm glad you feel good.

You feel great b/c you don't want to be with him or b/c he's not in a relationship anymore? I can understand why you would want their relationship to crash and burn..are you going to stay in contact with him now..??

[loulou37]

so why did he contact you? what a cheak!!

[u4me]

I'm just glad they're not together anymore. He and I had talked often about the difficulties of a LDR. I encouraged him to talk with me if he started having doubts. She knew he was in a relationship and crossed the boundary anyway. It confused me that their relationship lasted so long.

 

I called his home shortly after we broke up. Needless to say I was shocked when she answered the phone. I couldn't believe she had already moved in with him! And, she said some ridiculously stupid things to me. I couldn't believe he dumped me for this twit.

 

Will I keep in touch with him? Probably, but I don't have any romantic notions or longings. It's weird. Two days ago, I was still writing letters which would never be sent, debating about mailing his box of "stuff" to him, unable to listen to certain music... It's like the ball and chain has been removed from my ankle.

[u4me]

so why did he contact you? what a cheak!!

 

Even though he had orders not to contact me, I would attempt to contact him. The attempts became far and few between. He rarely responded. I used to dream about him all the time. The dreams stopped. Then, I had a very intense and seeingly real dream the other day. I felt compelled to call. He didn't answer, but returned my call the next morning.

[savignon]

Will you continue to contact him now that you know he's available?

[donewithitall]

I'm glad you got what you hoped for. I'm was in a similar situation as you, but mine happened 2.5 months ago. I hope everything works out well for both you and me.

[jenna-is-here]

Wow, you endured that whole thing now you get the knowledge of knowing they are not longer together. I can totally see why that feels good. GOOD! I am glad you feel good! And the best part is, not what he is available, you have come to the conclusion that you probably dont even want to be with him anymore. Everything wrapped up all very nicely.

[broken71]

It's weird. Two days ago, I was still writing letters which would never be sent, debating about mailing his box of "stuff" to him, unable to listen to certain music... It's like the ball and chain has been removed from my ankle.

 

u4me - interesting observation. If they never broke up, do you think you would ever get the geniune sense of closure that you have now? As much as I wanted that day to come for my ex-wife to say that she's not better off now, it never did. That was almost 8 years ago. I don't dwell on her now or harbour any outward anger towards her but I don't think I have full closure. It's almost like I've swept it under the rug as far as my conscious feelings go. However, I think by doing so, it has held me back in my relationships after she left. Do we really need the validation from the ex to prove that we deserve better?