think i may have crossed the line

[Atticus90]

Well, my ex just told me she sent in child support papers for me. of course that mad me really mad so i started talkin crap to her. eventually we yelled enough and leg to me sayin "go wash your mouth out with buckshot or i will"

 

she took that as a threat because she knows i own a shotgun. now when we go to court; whenever that is, she'll probably menchen that to the mediator or whoever or the police and try to lean the case towards her.

 

this is what happens when either one breaks no contact. just screws everything up.

 

i cant pay child support at this time in my life. she lives with her rich *** parents. I'm bearly keeping a roof over my head. I can't even afford this place I live at. I'm just bearly keeping my head above water. if this goes through then im finished. i dont mind paying for my son, but i rather it coem out of my own pocket when i CAN afford it rather than my money being forced out of my pocket when i CANT pay it.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Why are you so indignant about being asked to pay for YOUR baby? He's your child, you should contribute towards his upkeep. I think your response about the gun was terrible, and I don't have much sympathy I'm afraid.

 

I guess my advice would be to meet with your ex with a mediator present and have ground rules about being civil and polite with each other. But child support - yeah, that's what happens when people (men and women) have a child; they are both responsible, both of them.

 

I hope things work out, but remember your son in the most important think in this.

[BellaStranger]

I agree with the above comment I'm afraid... You have a baby, you pay child support, end of story, regardeless of how much money her parents do or don't have! You will be assessed on how much u have to pay based on your situation, so it is likely to be an affordable amount, and if u really can't afford it, they can conclude that you don't have to pay anything yet.

 

Sounds to be that you needs a big dose of responsibility... There are consequeses for actlike, like having children and making threats, start thinking about them before you act. If you two really can't be civil then keep a middle man involved, because ultimately- you have a child- so you are going to be in each others lives for a long time yet!!

[Speranza]

It didn't 'lead to you saying it' - you CHOSE to say it.

 

And technically, it was a threat. In the UK it would be classed as assault. I am amazed you consider yourself safe to own a gun if this is an example of your temper.

 

And yes - what the other posters said. Or are we to understand that you only sleep with rich girls so that if they get pregnant, their parents can pick up your tab?

 

Seriously, I would see about getting some anger management help if I were you - I bet you are not a happy person in some way and this anger is just spilling out and if you aren't careful it will wreck your life cos you WILL say - or do - something you get into big trouble for.

 

I'm sorry you are in this situation so young but - she has the baby for the rest of her life now. It's only fair that you act responsibly. And making threats is NOT going to to help; even if you didn't mean them you unfortunately can't prove it.

 

If you get the chance (don't raise the subject) do let her know that you would never hurt her or your baby (you wouldn't, right?). I'm sure you are not a bad person but how you handle this situation is one of those defining moments in life, like when the Titanic guy fell asleep at his post... steer well now and you will have a happier life ahead of you.

[warmpandacola]

Reason why child support doesn't just pick and choose when you pay your financial support is because your son doesn't pick our choose when he needs support. He needs it all the time whether you can afford it or not. It doesn't matter how rich her parents are, that has nothing to do with you supporting your child. When you go to court the child support will hopefully be able to work it out so that you pay a reasonable percentage of income. I understand it's difficult enough to take care of yourself but you are resonsible for your son as well so you gotta step up for him no matter what it takes. In the meantime, figure out what all you need to do in order to support you and your son.

 

I agree that if you two can't get along then schedule appointments through a mediator with some ground rules so that the conversation doesn't get too heated. Stupid stuff gets said when angry and especially if it's two people arguing. The real issues don't get resolved that way.

[avman]

This is your child is it not? So you are responsible for child support. It doesn't really matter if you can afford it. Your child has needs and you are on the hook to help provide them. You don't get to just decide "well I can't afford to provide for him right now so I won't".

 

And your threats to her are completely inappropriate. Of course she's going to bring it up to the court. You presented yourself as a risk to her life and this child's life. You could end up with a restraining order against you as a result.

 

If you care about your child (and I know you do) then you need to put these differences aside and work together for his sake.

[savignon]

I agree with what's posted here so far and will add that if my estranged husband told me he was going to clean my mouth out with a gun, you best believe I'd be sharing it with all concerned parties. In addition, if my son-in-law had the expectation that I should be financially caring for his child because I have more money than him, I'd be outraged. This is YOUR child. It it not up to anyone else but you and his mother to make sure he has what he needs. If his grandparents love, support, care for him and buy him things, then you might consider graciously APPRECIATING and being thankful for that, not EXPECTING it.

[Atticus90]

Ok, well do I have to show up for court for something like this? There gonna garnish my wages anyway, so I rather not waste my time showing up.

[HeartGoesOn]

Ok, well do I have to show up for court for something like this? There gonna garnish my wages anyway, so I rather not waste my time showing up.

 

Yes they will garnish your wages. Since you're only 19, and had another pregnancy scare with this same girl a few months ago, I would start making better choices in the future. It doesn't matter if her parents are rich or not, you're the child's father, and it's your job to support that child.

[avman]

Yeah, I'd show up if I were you. Unless you don't care to answer any of the charges she may level against you for the threats. And if they don't have the right amount of income that you make you could end up with a higher child support payment than is fair. If you don't show up to court then you are going to lose the right to contest it later on if it's not accurate.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Yes, go to court.

 

Do you have anyone there giving you good advice? I know that you're only 19, but the mother of your child is only 17. I think you have to realise you are both responsible, and deal with this. It's always better to face your troubles/problems head on than not, no matter what the outcome. There is advice available for you, you just have to take it.

[Atticus90]

i was just startin to get over her a little bit to and now im gonna have to see her in person. she said she sent the papers into social services 3 days ago, so how long is this gonna take til i get served? estimates? personal experiences?